


Hiraeth

by CelticCross



Series: Hiraeth [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:55:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 70,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28659834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticCross/pseuds/CelticCross
Summary: Hiraeth: a Welsh word for longing or nostalgia, an earnest longing or desire, or a sense of regret. The feeling of longing for a home that no longer exists or never was. A deep and irrational bond felt with a time, era, place or person.Leigh Miller is the new Hawkeye and de facto Leader of the Avengers post snap.  She has to deal with all the shit left behind as well as keep the team together.“You were going to ask me if I’d seen Barton recently. No, I haven’t. Barton is dead,” She glared at the two men, “The Clint Barton you used to know, before the snap, he’s gone, he’s dead. The guy who’s out there,” she made a sweeping gesture with her left hand, her mouth twisted in bitterness, “That’s not Barton, not anymore, so no, I haven’t seen Barton recently.”  With that, she turned on her heel and left them in the kitchen, her head held high, keeping her tears at bay.“It’s about Romanoff. She’s alive.” Sam called after her, watching as she stopped dead and slowly turned to look at him, her face drained of colour at his words.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Hiraeth [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114094
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

  


“Hey LadyHawke, and how’s my favourite archer doing these days?”

“You’re both late. I was expecting you back weeks ago and what do you want Sam?” Leigh Miller looked up from where she was sat in the Avengers Compound communal kitchen, into the dark, friendly eyes of Sam Wilson. She had been aware of the two of them before they’d even stepped into the kitchen. Enhanced hearing came with the territory of being the new Hawkeye; that, and enhanced eyesight. It was why she’d been chosen as a replacement.

“Aww. You hear that Bucky? You hear that accusation in her voice? Like I only say hello when I want something.” The dark skinned man turned to look at the man coming up behind him.

“But you do.” Bucky Barnes replied, directing a small grin at Leigh, who snorted softly, her mouth twisted into a wry smile

“Aww man, is that how it is? You’re supposed to be on my side Bucky.” He pouted as two sets of blue eyes stared at him.

“So, I’ll say it again, what do you want Sam?” Leigh asked, twisting back to the bow that lay in front of her, her attention on the two men faltering.

Sam glared at the dark haired man to the side of him and the dark haired woman in front of him.

He sighed, twisting his mouth.

“Barton.”

Leigh stopped what she was doing and sat still as an old pain ran through her at the sound of his name. She took a deep breath, swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat, surreptitiously coughing to clear it.

“No.” she said, clear and loud.

“What do you mean no? you haven’t even heard what I need to say.” Sam said, puzzled.

Leigh got up from her seat, picking up and collapsing the sleek, black recurve bow she’d been working on, reaching over to pull a small black case towards her before packing the bow away. She turned to look at both men, her eyes sweeping over them. Sam had packed on the muscles and Bucky’s hair was a lot shorter than the last time she’d seen him. They looked tired and worn out and there was an air of something about them that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“You were going to ask me if I’d seen Barton recently. No, I haven’t. Barton is dead,” She glared at the two men, “The Clint Barton you used to know, before the snap, he’s gone, he’s dead. The guy who’s out there,” she made a sweeping gesture with her left hand, her mouth twisted in bitterness, “That’s not Barton, not anymore, so no, I haven’t seen Barton recently.” With that, she turned on her heel and left them in the kitchen, her head held high, keeping her tears at bay.

“It’s about Romanoff. She’s alive.” Sam called after her, watching as she stopped dead and slowly turned to look at him, her face drained of colour at his words.

Leigh wrapped her hands around the hot cup of coffee, sighing as warmth leeched into her chilled body. She looked over at the new Captain America, her face poker straight. Sam was a good man but he was no Steve Rogers when it came to poker. Steve had surprised her in his ability to play poker, the usual friendly, placid face had turned blank the first time they’d played and she’d ended up owing him $200 after underestimating his ability to lie. She’d never made that mistake again, but Sam, oh he was trying too hard to keep his feelings inside. She looked into his flashing dark eyes, seeing the desperation in the small lines around them, and smiled.

“Spill. Tell me what you know about Nat…Romanoff,” she hesitated on the name, “ and I’ll tell you whether I can help you contact Barton.” She said, putting her cup down with a soft tap on the glass and Cherry wood conference table. She looked over Sam’s shoulder to where Bucky was lounging against the wall, his arms crossed and face shuttered.

“Bucky?”, she called over, watching as he focused on her, “Come and sit down please.” She asked, her voice soft and calm, smiling slightly as he did as asked, pulling out a chair next to Sam and slumping down into it, across from her.  
Silence filled the room as Sam looked at her.

Clearing her throat, Leigh scraped her chair back, “either you tell me everything, or I’m getting up and leaving. I take it I am the only one who can help you get in contact with Clint?,” Sam scowled as he nodded, “thought so,” she smiled, her eyes blank, “ so gentlemen, tell me, or I’m gone.”

It was Bucky who finally spoke, his soft gruff voice filling the silence.

“I saw her.”

Leigh snapped her entire attention to the dark haired man in front of her.

“Where, and how?”

“We were,” he paused, glancing sideways at Sam, who shrugged, "doing recon on Zemo.”

“Zemo? Isn’t he in custody? Ross took him, he should be in the Raft.”

“Well he got out.” Sam said, sighing heavily.

“Shit. How?” Leigh asked, frowning at this revelation.

The team were down six members since the deaths of Tony Stark, Vision and Natasha Romanoff and the disappearance of Steve Rogers, Thor and Clint Barton and they were struggling at best to recruit new members and keep control of the new world. They were barely holding it together as a team and this was a blow to her. The news that Zemo was out; she wondered how many others were also free. She breathed deeply and straightened her shoulders.

“The snap…,” Bucky began, his shoulders slumping.

“Fucking snap…” she grumbled.

He grinned at her slightly, one corner of his mouth twisting up.

“Yeah, fucking snap…,” he stared at her, “turns out that buildings don’t run very well when the majority of the staff turn to dust. Zemo didn’t snap, he was left behind. We don’t have the full story as there was no one left, well alive anyway, at the Raft. Those soldiers who didn’t snap, were dead when we got there.”

“So hang on, you were sent to the Raft, that much I do know, cause I fucking sent you there in the first place and you’re telling me this is the first I’m hearing about it?,” she sat back in her chair in disbelief, “I don’t fucking believe you guys.”

“Hey Leigh, we would have but comms were busted in the Raft and ours didn’t work there, and anyway, after we found his message we didn’t have time.” Sam said, his voice a little angry yet placating.

“Whose message?” she asked, wondering what the fuck was going on. Ever since she had taken over the mantle of de facto Leader of the Avengers her first rule was communication, communication, communication. She didn’t really care what, or who, you did as long as you told her what was going on.

“Zemo’s. He left a message for us, well, for the Avengers, a kind of catch me if you can, with breadcrumbs that led us to Sofia and then onto Bucharest, Belgrade and finally Moscow.”

“And what did you find in all these places?” she asked, taking a sip of her lukewarm coffee.

“Dead Hydra Agents.”

“That I was not expecting, I’ll grant you that, but why didn’t you tell me this at the time?, we could have got you more resources.”

“We couldn’t take the chance that the trail would go cold.” Sam admitted, shrugging his left shoulder.

Leigh looked at him, noticing the slight bruising around the right shoulder, her eyebrows raising as she looked at him.

“Medical, right after this.” She commanded him.

“Ah LadyHawke…” he grumbled.

“Sam, you’re hurt…don’t make me kick your ass,” she looked over as Bucky snorted, “You too Bucky, get a check-up.” She grinned as he glared at her, “So, dead Hydra Agents…”

“Right, yeah, there were four in total, and…,” Sam paused, looking over at Bucky, “There was something off about each set up, it was Bucko here who spotted it,” Sam grinned as Bucky glared at him, murder in his eyes. Sam’s smile faltered slightly and he cleared his throat.

“Each Hydra Assassin has a call sign, a small insignia that’s left on the scene.” Bucky said, his voice soft, shame heavy in the inflection, his head bowed.

“Like a calling card?” Leigh asked, her voice equally soft.

Bucky looked up at her, through his short fringe, wishing he’d not had it cut; wanting something to hide behind.

“Yeah, kinda, more like a kill card, to let other assassins know who made the kill.”

“And what did you find?” she asked him, trying to keep her compassion from bleeding through. Bucky was not the kind of man to take what he saw as pity.

“Romanoff’s sign, on each and every scene.”

“Could it have been faked?” Leigh asked, her heart rate speeding up at the thought of Na…Romanoff being alive. Her mind was buzzing with how wrong and ridiculous and impossible that sounded.

Bucky shook his head, shame pooling deep in his belly, rolling around.

“We…I knew her style and where she left the signs. It was her. I knew it, so I told Sam.” He admitted, his voice soft and tired.

“I was shocked when he told me it was Nat’s sign. We had to find out for sure before we told you.” Sam added.

“Don’t worry about the lack of communication now, we’ll talk about that later, tell me, where did you find her?” Leigh looked straight at the pair of them.

“Moscow.” Sam replied, as he tried to surreptitiously stretch out his right shoulder, with a groan.

“Sam, take the uniform off, you too Bucky. Let me get someone in to see to your shoulder whilst you tell me the rest.” Leigh said, pressing down on one of the buttons set into the table in front of her.

Sam sighed as the uniform top was peeled away, revealing a long and deep gash across the top of his pectoral muscle, disappearing under his armpit. He shivered slightly in the air conditioned room.

“Jesus fuck Sam. Fucking idiots, the pair of you,” she exclaimed, looking at a similar but nearly healed gash on Bucky’s flesh arm, “seriously, fucking idiots…” she trailed off, a small smile on her face as she looked at the men; her team, her friends. She shook her head in exasperation and drained the now cold coffee, as the pair of them were dealt with.

“Whilst you’re being patched up I’ll get more coffee, that ok with you two?” she asked, getting up from her seat.

“Leigh, you’re a star.” Sam smiled, wincing as his wound was cleaned before being stitched. 

Bucky nodded, turning to watch her as she walked out.

“See something you like Bucko?” Sam grinned, his rich, deep laughter echoing in the large room.

“Fuck off birdbrain.” Bucky grinned back. Thankfully he healed fast due to the Super Soldier serum but it had still hurt like fuck when he’d been attacked.

They sat quietly in the conference room, waiting for Leigh to return, as Sam’s wound was finally stitched up and a bandage applied, before his arm was put in a sling to stop him moving the muscles.

Leigh put the tray of coffees down on the table and flung a package across to Sam who caught it one handed.

“It’s a shirt, put it on,” she grinned at the bare chested man, “or would you like me to it for you seeing as you’re one handed now…hey Bucky maybe you can show Sam how to do things one handed…” she trailed off cackling to herself as she added cream to their coffees.

Sam grinned back at her as he ripped the shirt out of the package and she grinned as Bucky glared at her. Finally after a few minutes struggling, Sam had his left arm in the shirt with the rest of it slung around his right shoulder.

“So, Moscow.” She said, taking a small sip of the dark, bitter liquid.

“She was in the Red Room.” Bucky said, his voice harsh in the large room.

“Fuck, I thought that had, well that…” Leigh trailed off not knowing what she wanted to say. The Red Room had been destroyed years back, or so she’d been told. Had it merely gone underground instead, and why the fuck was Romanoff there? and, more importantly, how the fuck was Romanoff there?

“It’s been rebuilt.” Bucky said as Sam blew across his hot coffee, “I…,” he hesitated, unsure how to explain that he’d been a part of the infamous KGB/Hydra Red Room. He hated that he’d been a part of it all, an assassin, trained to kill, teaching children how to become killers. He shuddered.

“It’s ok Bucky, I know.” Leigh said, her voice soft as she looked across at him.

“Well, we followed the breadcrumbs and where it led us and…”

“She was there…” Leigh filled in for him.

“Yes, and she was waiting for us, as was Zemo. We fought some of his goons and barely got out, hence these…” Sam finished, indicating his bandaged and strapped shoulder.

Leigh sat back in her chair, her head spinning. She trusted these men with her life and hated to think that either one of them would ever lie to her but…

“I hate to ask…” she trailed off as Bucky slid a cell phone across to her, the picture clearly showing a window within what looked like a stately home. There was a red haired woman looking out of the window. She gasped as she stared at the face of Natalia Alianovna Romanova, otherwise known as Natasha Romanoff, otherwise known as the Black Widow.

She looked up at the two men, seeing the pain and weariness on their faces, her heart going out to both of them.

“I’ll need to keep this, to look at the metadata, make sure it’s not been tampered with before…,” she paused, blowing out a breath, “before I call him.”

“You believe us?” Bucky asked, a look of surprise on his face.

“Why wouldn’t I believe you James? I trust you, you and Sam both,” she smiled as the surprise was replaced by a small smile, “you’re done in, the pair of you, go, sleep, eat, do whatever but get some rest and I’ll see you tonight. I’ve got work to do.”

Sam elbowed Bucky as they left the room.

“She called you James…” he grinned, laughing as Bucky gave him the bird.


	2. Chapter 2

Leigh waited until the two men had shut the door behind them before locking down. Sighing as she heard the metal plates across the doors and walls lock into place. She watched as a little light embedded in the desk console before her turned red. Tony had set this up after the attack on New York and it was now secure against most forms of external attack, as well as giving those inside the room access to all internal networks. She looked down at the console and clicked on a small nondescript button, sitting back to wait for a monitor to rise up and a virtual keyboard to appear on the desk. She quickly opened a secure channel to the office of the Head of the R&D Laboratory division and typed in her access code.

#Hey Darce, you there?#  
#Yo boss woman, wassup?#  
#Darcy, you’re not twelve. Got a major problem, eyes only, report only to me.#  
#Gotcha, you coming to me or me to you?#  
#I’ll come to you. Secure the lab.#  
#Oh muy serio then?  
#Si, muy serio. Nos vemos en cinco minutos. Adios#

Leigh smiled as she shut the system down. She spoke five languages and Darcy seven. Darcy was always trying to catch her out with a change of language but hadn’t yet succeeded. She was so glad Darcy had made her way to the compound after the snap, after Jane had disappeared. Darcy Lewis had turned out to be more than a smart mouth and a pretty face. Together they had kept both the team and the labs from falling apart whilst the team searched for a way to reverse what Thanos had done. She’d worked closely with Romanoff gathering data and collating the information; working in the background to allow them to ultimately defeat Thanos and reverse the snap; but at what cost? She snapped herself out of her reverie and, unlocking the room, made her way to Darcy’s office.

“Hey mi chica, como estas?” Darcy greeted her as she stepped into the cramped, paper filled office. 

“Darce, are you ever going to move into the bigger office I set aside for you?” Leigh smiled, closing the door behind her, hearing the whoosh and click of lockdown. Out of habit she glanced up at the discrete camera in the corner of the office, smiling as a small red light appeared.

“Why would I? I know where everything is in this place,” Darcy grinned as her elbow slipped off a pile of paperwork in front of her, “Oops…”

Leigh rolled her eyes and grinned at her friend.

“Darce, this is a code red, you understand? No one gets wind of what is on this phone, and you report to me only. Call me, give me the code word and I’ll go into the conference room to take your call.”

“Gotcha,” her smile faltered as she looked at her friends face, seeing the frown lines and thin lips, “Jeez, Leigh what the fuck is on this?” she muttered, reaching out her hand for the phone, looking puzzled as Leigh held onto it.

Sighing, Leigh sat down in the only other chair, after dumping a ton of paperwork onto the floor.

“I need to give you the background before I give you the phone, ok?,” she glanced at Darcy who nodded, her face now serious, “Right. You know how shitty it was during the blip? We were just surviving, doing all we could to try and reverse the snap, right?,” Darcy nodded at her, “so, everything else was left to turn to ratshit, including the Raft. To be honest it never even crossed my mind that there could be a problem with it. There was no one in it that I cared about so I didn’t care about it.”

“Why would you?” Darcy murmured, “wanna coffee?”

“You have a kettle in this room?” Leigh looked around the small room, every surface covered with inconceivable amounts of paper, files and manuals.

“Nah, I’ve got a coffee maker, hang on let me make a coffee, think we’re gonna need one, right?”

Leigh smiled tightly as Darcy reached behind her to a small cupboard, revealing a coffee maker.

“I had it installed at Tony’s insistence when he got back from outer space.” Darcy grinned switching it on and putting ground coffee in the top. She looked at her friend; the one person who had seen beneath the wise girl exterior to the smart woman inside and had given her a chance to prove herself. Leigh looked tired and there was something else she hadn’t seen in her for a long time; depression.

“You okay Leigh? Cause you look like shit.”

Leigh snorted a high laugh, “Cheers, thanks Darce, with friends like you…”

“Who needs enemas?…” Darcy finished the sentence, laughing, “but seriously, I haven’t seen you like this for a long time.”

“I’m ok, Darce, I…something has come up and once I tell you the story you’ll see…” Leigh trailed off, feeling a slight sheen of tears across her eyes. She blinked rapidly. She hadn’t cried in six years and she was not going to start now.

Darcy watched the sudden flash of emotion play out across her friends face, her eyes widening behind her glasses. Shit, whatever was going down it must be fucking serious. She turned to the coffee maker and quickly poured two cups.

Leigh took a sip of the rich brew, recognising it as Tony’s special brand and smiled. They hadn’t had this particular coffee since…since he’d gone.

“So, the Raft?” Darcy said, settling back in her high leather chair. She spent a lot of time in her office and she was damned if she wasn’t going to be comfortable.

“Yes, the Raft. Six weeks ago we got a signal through from the Raft. I didn’t recognise what it was first of all. It was Barnes who recognised the code. Morse code. The Raft was sending an SOS signal. It was intermittent, so I sent Sam and Bucky out to take a look. Maybe there were still people there who needed our help. To be honest I didn’t give it much thought, you know, quick recon, 48 hours max, in and out, send help later if needed, you know, that kind of mission.”

“Yeah, normal recon mission.”

“They turned up today, six weeks later with this,” she motioned to the phone she was still holding, “and a story that is so fantastic and impossible, that I almost didn’t believe it until I saw the picture,” she sighed, taking another sip of coffee, “God I need a cigarette.” she murmured.

“You don’t smoke.” Darcy frowned.

“I don’t smoke now…,” Leigh flashed her a small grin, cracking her stiff shoulders and neck, “so, you know how Sam is right? Always overly polite and friendly when he wants something? Well turns out he wants something only I can give,” she blew out a deep breath, feeling tears prickling again, “I sat them both down to give me a mission report and, turns out the Raft didn’t run very well when the majority of the staff turned to dust. Zemo got out.”

“Zemo? Sokovia Zemo? That asshole who tried frame Bucky? Fuck…”

“Yeah, that’s the reason they didn’t report to me, they were following a breadcrumb trail he’d set for the Avengers. Took them across half of Europe, with a trail of Dead Hydra Agents along the way, until they reached Moscow…” Leigh trailed off, her face paling as she thought of how to say what she needed to.

“Leigh? Honey what’s going on? You’ve gone Emo…” Darcy asked, taken aback at the paleness of her friends face.

“They found…,” she leaned on Darcy’s desk, her hand covering her mouth for a moment, “Shit, Darce, they found Natasha…she’s alive and with Zemo, in the fucking Red Room…”

Darcy sat back in her chair, her eyes wide with shock. 

“That’s…that’s impossible, she’s…she’s gone. How?...How can that be Leigh? How can she be alive?...oh God does that mean?...Ian…” she grabbed her own phone and went to dial out before putting it back on the desk, “lockdown, no signal…” she finished sadly, a lone tear dripping down her face.

“I don’t know Darce, I don’t know, which is why I need you to do your fucking best on this. I need the picture…,”

“They took a picture?”

“Yeah, that’s what this lockdown, code red is about.”

“Course…” Darcy muttered, trying to get her head back into a receptive space.

“I need you to check and triple check the metadata, triangulate the geographical area, blow the pixels up as far as you can to make sure that what is on here has not been faked in any way, shape or form. I need you to do this before…”

“Oh God, you’re gonna contact him aren’t you?”

Leigh nodded, a tear finally making its way down her face, she angrily wiped it away.

“It’s what Sam wanted of me. To contact Barton, but I can’t do that until I know that this photo is real. I can’t, I won’t give him false hope.”

“I’ll do everything I can.” Darcy promised as she finally took the phone from Leigh.

“You protect that with your life Darce, you hear? Code Red once I step out of here,” she smiled thinly, “you got food?”

“Fridge and a microwave built in, next to the coffee maker.” Darcy grinned sheepishly.

“Is that why the paperwork is over the floor? All your storage space is taken up with kitchen appliances?”

“Maybe…kinda…Tony did it.” she grinned, holding tightly onto the phone.

Leigh shook her head, smiling at the kindness and craziness of Tony Stark.

“How long?...I mean, when do you think?...” Leigh trailed off as she got up and headed to unlock the door.

“What is it now?” Darcy looked at her watch, “noon, so this side of midnight?,” she leant back in her chair, a small grin playing on her lips, “So, what are you going to do while we wait?”

“To be honest? I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you go check on your boyfriend, Bucky? See how he is…pump him for more information.” Darcy grinned, watching as a small blush spread up from Leigh’s chest to her face.

“Darcy…” Leigh admonished, shaking her head, “Bucky is not my boyfriend, you know this.”

“But you want him to be…” Darcy cackled, wiggling her eyebrows expressively.

“Don’t always get what you want Darce, you should know that by now.” Leigh said sadly, before stepping out of the office and shutting the door behind her.

Darcy watched her leave, gears spinning in her mind as she thought about how to get those two oblivious idiots together finally. She looked down at the phone in her hands and put the idea on the backburner…for now.

Leigh sat in the communal area, trying to concentrate on the Stark pad in front of her. It had the training schedules for all the new recruits as well as the HR background checks of those who were in the pipeline. She meant to have all the schedules as well as the background reports done and checked off by close of play today but she just couldn’t concentrate. Sighing she sat back in the comfy armchair and switched the tablet off. HR be damned, they had done without an HR department during the blip, one more day wouldn’t hurt. She looked up at a noise to see Bucky stood in the doorway, awkwardly waiting.

“Hi Bucky, you ok? How’s your arm?” she smiled, motioning for him to come in.

“Hey Leigh, I’m not interrupting you am I?,” he smiled as she shook her head, “I’m fine, my arm’s fine, like it never happened.” he put his metal hand over the affected area, rubbing lightly.

“Good, at least one of you is practically indestructible.” She grinned, as he let out a low laugh.

“Yeah, birdbrain does get into a few scrapes, reminds me of a punk I knew back in Brooklyn.” He replied, sitting down on the communal sofa, stretching his long muscular Jean clad legs out in front of him, groaning as he settled back against a large fluffy cushion.

“You sure you’re ok Sarge?” she smiled, “Sounds like you need a hot bath and a massage.”

“You offering?” he grinned, stretching his arms above his head, his tight black Henley top raising up to show a few inches of bare, toned skin.

“No, but I can run the bath for you if it’s too much for an old man…” she laughed, desperately trying not to look at his toned stomach.

“Aww Doll, and there I was thinking you might join me.” He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling.

“Nice try Sarge.” Leigh laughed, a wide grin on her attractive face.

She relaxed as they settled back into their old routine of flirting heavily with each other; it was safe and routine and just them being friends. She knew she’d be crazy to see anything else in his flirtations. She was still a little amazed at how quickly they had become friends since his return from the blip and the Endgame battle. 

She sighed turning to look back at the blank tablet.

“You ok Leigh?” Bucky asked, his face serious.

“No…this whole thing has thrown me for a loop. I…,” she sighed, feeling tears dangerously close to the surface, “I thought I’d moved on, you know, from him and what he did, but it seems not.” She closed her eyes as they watered and blew out a shaky breath, jumping as she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug.

“I don’t know what he did to you…when, well you know, cause I wasn’t here,” he smiled, “but we’re here for you now, whatever happens.” He murmured, holding her close to him, resting his chin atop her head.

Slowly, she relaxed into his embrace, feeling his warmth and strength surrounding her. She breathed in his unique musky, smoky scent and smiled, it was strange yet familiar and she wanted to stay. She wasn’t sure how long they hugged for but she knew, somewhere in the back of her mind that it had crossed from a friendly hug into something more and she needed to regain some semblance of control. She let out a small sigh and slowly pulled back.

“Thanks Bucky, think I needed that,” she sighed, settling back into her chair, looking up into his ice blue eyes, seeing concern.

He nodded and settled back onto the sofa, leaning forward to give her his full attention. She looked shaken and unsettled and he’d never seen her like this before. Leigh Miller was one of the emotionally strongest people he knew and it was slightly disturbing to see her vulnerable.

Leigh took a shaky breath, missing Bucky’s warmth. She knew she had to say something to him, if only to stop the awkwardness that was settling inside her. She looked at him, seeing his concern and compassion for her.

“Clint Barton broke my heart.”


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky sat in the kitchen, his mind whirling with a myriad of thoughts and images. Shit. Leigh had been in love with Barton. Bucky knew Barton had been married with children at the time of the snap and his mind whirled with how Leigh had fitted into this. Had it been a one sided thing? Had Barton left his family for her? Had it been an affair? He didn’t know and there was no way he could ask her, not after seeing the heartbreak and anguish on her face when she’d admitted that Barton had broken her heart. Shit. Slowly he let out the breath he’d been holding. He liked her, he really liked her and had been working up to asking her out for a coffee or dinner, or something, but now? No, they were friends and that was all. They flirted, that was all, but shit, she’d felt so good in his arms. He’d felt at home, breathing in her perfume and the underlying scent that was her, feeling her softness pressed against him. Sighing he closed his eyes. Friends. He could do that; she was just punk mark two. Yeah, he could do that, be her friend, be there when she needed him. Shit. He groaned, laying his hand in his arms on the table.

“Hey Bucko, been looking for you. Have you heard anything from Leigh about the picture and Barton?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is Bucky, not Bucko, or Buckaroo or any of the other shit names you call me.” Bucky snarled.

“Hey whoa, Bucky calm down, it’s just a name, fucks sake.” Sam held his hands up in front of him, backing away from the moody eyed dark haired man.

Bucky sighed loudly, “I’m sorry Sam, it’s been…a weird day.”

“Yeah?” Sam narrowed his eyes, pursed lips throwing his cheekbones into sharp relief as he stared at his friend and partner.

“Yeah, just one of those days you wanna get back under the duvet, you know?” Bucky smiled weakly, sighing.

Sam raised an eyebrow, clearly indicating that whilst he would accept the lame ass apology, he wasn’t fooled by it.

“Look, it doesn’t matter, I thought there was a thing but it wasn’t there, so forget it, I’m sorry.” Bucky breathed.

“Leigh?”

“Yeah.” Bucky admitted.

“Shit, sorry man, I see the two of you together and…”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought but…shit happens, life goes on, right? Wasn’t that what you and Steve were trying to tell me all those years ago?”

“Yeah, life goes on, aww, I’m sorry man,” Sam placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gave a quick squeeze, “So I take it you’ve not heard anything from her about the picture and Barton then?”

“Not in so many words.” Bucky sighed.

“Do I need to ask what that means?” Sam asked a wry grin on his handsome face.

Bucky shook his head, blowing out a breath, “I’ll go find her, find out what’s happening. Get some food, you look beat.”

“Thanks for the compliment…Bucky.” Sam grinned, laughing as Bucky flipped him off as he walked out of the kitchen.

Leigh stood at the window in the communal living area, staring out at nothing. She was lost in her thoughts as rain pelted the windows, the skies almost black with thunder clouds. In the year she’d known and flirted heavily with James Buchanan Barnes, not once had he touched her, except for shaking her hand when he’d first arrived after the blip. She’d put it down to who he’d been; the Winter Soldier hadn’t exactly been a cuddle bunny and as he’d made no move towards her, even after they’d begun to flirt heavily with each other, she had put away the slight crush that had developed, turning herself into his friend only, as it had seemed that was all he wanted or needed from her and it had worked. They were friends, always had each other’s back but were strictly hands off and then he’d hugged her tightly to him, soothing her, washing away her fears; allowing her to relax and all those feelings had flooded back, overwhelming her senses so much that she’d told him what Clint had done to her. 

She was embarrassed at telling him. No one except Darcy had known and Darcy only knew because she’d walked in on her crying one day and hadn’t let Leigh escape until she’d told her why. It had been the last time she’d cried over him until today.

“Jesus fuck woman, pull yourself together for fucks sake, you’ve got a team to run,” She muttered to herself, feeling foolish and sick of it all, “Barton was the past, that’s it, what he did, that’s on him, not you, so man the fuck up,” she started as a voice came from behind.

“Leigh, you ok?” Bucky asked, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets to stop himself from reaching out to hug her again.

“Shit, James, you scared me, sorry I was lost in my thoughts…was I muttering to myself again?” she smiled at the handsome dark haired man in front of her.

“A little, something about manning the fuck up?” he grinned, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

Leigh laughed, “Yeah, sounds like me. The past is the past, right? Gotta move on, no matter what happened,” she sighed, running her hands through her long, dark hair, “It’s just hard though, Buck, you know. To fully leave a person behind. When you had so much history and so many memories together and to know that nothing will ever be the same.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, a small grin on his face, “Yeah, I might know a little about that…” he trailed off as she flushed.

“Oh God James, I’m so sorry, of course you know all about that kind of thing,” she reached out and placed her hand on his arm in her embarrassment, “I really am sorry bringing all that up and for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to land you with all my emotional baggage, it wasn’t fair on you as my friend, or professional of me as your boss.” She cleared her throat, her eyes widening as she realised she still had her hand on his arm.

Bucky watched as she removed her hand from his arm, her cheeks colouring slightly and smiled.

Taking a deep breath, he held his hand out to her, “Tell me about him?” he asked, a small smile on his full lips.

Leigh looked at his proffered hand and slipped her hand into his, feeling the heat of his palm warm hers, as she allowed him to lead her over to the sofa.

“God, I don’t even know where to begin, he was always there from the moment I arrived. I don’t remember a day when he wasn’t there, you know? He was my mentor at SHIELD, before the fall of the Triskelion, I’m sure you remember all about that,” she chuckled, watching a small flush spread across his cheeks as he shuffled on the sofa next to her, he really was adorable when he was flustered, “anyway, I joined in 2013 as a Rookie cadet…,” she paused as she thought of the timeline, “shit, that was over a decade ago,” she shook her head, her usually pinned hair floating free around her shoulders, “and as I showed promise with a bow, they gave me to Barton to train, when he wasn’t Avenging, you know, and we just clicked, there’s no other word for it. it was no longer him and me, it was us, and it worked; it worked so well that I joined in missions with him and Nat,” she laughed as another memory surfaced, “Nat used to call me baby bird, you know, like Hawkeye junior, which would give him the giggles." she looked at Bucky, her face lit with smiles. 

"She had to stop calling me that after he got the giggles in an inappropriate place and nearly put the kybosh on our mission,” she smiled, lost in a memory, “He and I were playing the part of a couple, staking out a party, tracking a Hydra high up, you know and Nat’s voice came loud over the earpiece, telling us that it was time for baby bird to fluff her wings, meaning it was time for us to have a public argument with me storming off to be consoled by the higher up, if you get my meaning, only Cli…Barton got the giggles in the middle of the dancefloor and I had to full on kiss him and practically grope him to stop him from ruining everything. Needless to say, I never got near the higher up, so Nat had to go in and finish the job. She was so angry with him she refused to even look at him on the way back and made him do the paperwork for the mission.” Leigh sighed, her shoulders slumping as more memories made their way in.

Bucky sat still, listening as she poured her heart out. She had really loved him.

“God, this is hard Buck, I’ve not thought of these things in years,” A lone tear made its way down her face and she sniffled, “I…I just miss him, you know? I miss what we had, the partnership, the friendship, the laughter and the fact he had my back on every fucking mission,” she snorted, “When he wasn’t lost in giggles that was,” her face fell and she closed her eyes, “and I fucking miss him. I miss his stupid face and the way he could make me feel better with a few words. He was my everything, Buck, my world, my mentor, my best friend, and then that fucking snap happened and everything went to shit and he turned into a person I didn’t recognise and he left.” Leigh blinked as more tears fell. She wiped them away on her sleeve and sat back on the sofa, sighing, her face flushed with tears.

“Shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” she trailed off as she felt his arms around her, pulling her close to him as she sniffled into his shoulder, her legs tucked against his thigh as she sprawled across his torso, grateful for his solid warmth, breathing in his familiar scent, one arm tucked against her side and the other laid flat against his pectoral muscle. She could feel the scarring underneath her fingertips and the metal join of his arm and she gently pressed down, rubbing her fingers softly along the join, lost in her thoughts. She felt him freeze.

“Leigh? What are you doing?” he asked huskily, looking down at her.

She looked up into his face, biting her bottom lip, their mouths inches apart.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” she murmured, gasping as his mouth covered hers. 

She froze for a moment before pulling him tightly to her, wrapping both arms around his neck, pulling him down as close as she could. She moaned as she felt his tongue gently lapping her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth to his heat, a guttural moan snaking its way up as he wrapped his tongue around hers, tasting her, exploring her. he pulled back and pressed raw, wet, sloppy kisses against her jawline, making his way down her neck to her collarbone. She wriggled under him, bringing her legs over until she straddled his lap, his metal hand gripping her waist.

She moaned as she felt his lips pressing soft kisses down from her collarbone, as he breathed her in, trailing wet kisses down to the V of her Henley, his fingers making short work of the buttons.

She groaned as she felt his hot, wet tongue tracing patterns on her lace covered breast, groaning as his fingers made short work of her bra clasp until he could suck a nipple into his mouth, his wet tongue gently flicking against the erect nub, his hand gently squeezing her breast.

Leigh ground down on him, feeling his erection under her. She was desperate to feel his skin on hers and feverishly began to open the top of his jeans, as she ground her jean covered clit against his cock.

Bucky let out an animalistic groan as he felt her grinding on him, giving himself over to the storm gathering deep within. He felt her fingertips brush against his cock and pulled back from her breast, his head hitting the back of the sofa as he arched into her, his fingers searching for her jeans.

She panted as she felt his hand slip inside to touch her, grunting, as he rubbed her clit, feeling the moisture that had already soaked through. Her hands braced upon his chest as she felt him insert a finger inside her.

“Oh god James.” She exclaimed softly into the silence.

Bucky sat back looking at her in shock. What the fuck was he thinking? She had come to him as a friend and here he was with his fingers inside her, one step away from fucking her raw. No, this was wrong. She was in pain and sorrow and this would be taking advantage of her. He pulled his hands away from her hurriedly, pushing her off him, moving quickly to stand up.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He stammered before rushing from the room.

Leigh sat back on the sofa in disarray and shock. Slowly she did up her jeans and rebuttoned her Henley, struggling to do up her bra before giving up in a flood of tears.


	4. Chapter 4

Leigh took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. She’d showered and changed into her dark S.H.I.E.L.D uniform, her hair pulled back in a tight braid. She knew he was in there; she had heard him as she’d approached the kitchen. Heard him murmuring in reply to something Sam had said, his soft gruff laugh making her breath hitch. She needed to get her control back.

“Hey LadyHawke…,” Sam started, stopping as he looked at her poker straight face, devoid of any mirth, “you ok girl? You look…I dunno, severe, like Agent Hill or like someone died,” he paused for a moment, “no one died, right?”

“No Sam, no one died.” She replied to him, “but it has come to my attention that my lacklustre approach to command has lead to a lack of communication between myself and the team, so from now on I will be your boss, and not just in name only. I want a written report on your six week mission on my desk tomorrow, no excuses, you got me?” she looked at Sam who stared back in surprise.

“Yeah but…”

“No buts, Sam, lack of communication gets you hurt; both of you were attacked because neither of you let me know what was happening, instead you rushed off, following a trail that had been set for you, leading you both into what could have been a trap; it was a trap, only you both had the wherewithal to get out. You both could have died, been seriously injured or captured. You say this Romanoff is in the Red Room, working with Zemo? Who’s to say what they’d do with the Winter Soldier in their hands? You both broke protocol. I’ve been remiss in the past in accepting oral reports which F.R.I.D.A.Y has later transcribed. No more. I can’t let this carry on the way it has since Steve left, so starting from now, we are going back to written reports as soon as you check back in, with medicals and check-ups, and if a mission goes side ways you contact me for resources or extraction. We are going back to how S.H.I.E.L.D ran things. If I am not available then you will report to Darcy, she is my second in command. Am I understood?” she said, standing her ground.

“Ma’am.” Sam nodded, his face grave at the sudden change.

Leigh nodded and turned on her heel, “Sergeant Barnes, with me.” She called out as she left the kitchen, forcing Bucky to jog to catch up with her, his face a picture.

She entered the conference room, motioning for him to take a seat, before locking the room down.

Slowly she lowered herself into her seat, unzipping her jacket for comfort.

Bucky sat in his seat; his eyes narrowed at her. This wasn’t the Leigh he’d come to know and certainly wasn’t the woman who’d reacted so passionately to him earlier.

“Sergeant Barnes, I need to apologise to you. What happened earlier between us was unprofessional on my part. I am your boss and should not have allowed myself to lose control in front of you and certainly should not have allowed myself to get involved, shall we say. I should thank you for stopping when you did and can only think it was the shock of having to contact Barton that led to my inappropriate behaviour. I hope you will accept my apology.” Her voice was calm and measured and she was so damn proud of herself for not cracking.

Bucky stared at Leigh, frowning, his lips pursed and twisted as he listened to her words, trying to hear what she wasn’t saying. Didn’t she know he had stopped because of what she was going through? Had he made a mistake in stopping? He closed his eyes thinking back to what she had said.

Leigh sat looking at him, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. He had made his feelings clear to her but she still didn’t get why he’d kissed her in the first place.

Bucky stood up straight and looked at her before he locked his gaze on a spot behind her head. She was his superior officer after all.

“I’m sorry, I let myself get carried away in the heat of the moment and it won’t happen again.” He said.

Leigh nodded, “Dismissed soldier.” She unlocked the room, allowing him to leave.

“Ma’am.” He mumbled; his head bowed.

Leigh waited until he’d left before slumping down, resting her head in her hand, groaning. That had been awful. To see the confusion and hurt on his face had damn near killed her. Blearily she looked down at her phone as it beeped. Darcy had text her the code word. She replied with her own code word and locked the room down before enabling the monitor and keyboard.

She waited a few seconds and logged in to the secure internal network to see Darcy’s excited and shocked face in front of her.

“Hey Darce.” She said tiredly.

“You look like crap, what the fuck happened between you seeing me and now? Ooh did you and Barnes…”

“Darcy, please, the report.”

“Oh kay, but you and me? We are talking after this.”

Leigh sighed and nodded her agreement.

“Ok, then, you ready for this? The metadata has not been altered or created by external means, so the picture taken is real. I triangulated the position using the metadata plus the house within the picture and it is a place called Zakharovo, just outside Moscow. As for the picture itself, I blew up the pixels, and between F.R.I.D.A.Y and myself we have confirmed that it is a person with the exact features of Natasha Romanoff and not someone in a photostatic veil. As to whether it is Natasha Romanoff I can’t say.”

“Sorry what do you mean?”

“Did she have a twin? Did Hydra ever clone?”

“Oh I see, I don’t know and the only person who would is the one person I don’t want to call, but now I’m going to have to. Fuck it,” she sighed, rubbing her tired face, “I swear this day couldn’t get any worse.”

“Spill girl, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oh God Darce, I did something earlier that shouldn’t have happened.”

“What?” Darcy asked, her eyes wide behind her glasses.

“I may have gotten a little carried away with Bucky, on the sofa in the communal area.”

“Define ‘carried away’”

“He had a finger inside me and I was moments away from sucking his cock.”

“Wow! I…fuck, I’m…fuck girl, you made me speechless…how? I mean how the fuck did you get to that? Not how do you suck a cock, cause fuck, I know that one.” She laughed.

“I told him about Barton.”

“Shit, jeez Leigh, you’ve got it bad for this one.”

“I know, but it gets worse.”

“How worse?”

“He pushed me away from him and practically ran out of the door.”

“Whoa, back up and tell me everything.”

“I was telling him about Barton and how much I miss his stupid face and I got a bit emotional…fuck it, I cried on him, ok? I know, it was stupid of me, so anyway, he hugged me and I could feel the scarring and his arm and I was pressing gently, rubbing the join, and he got all hot and bothered and kissed me and then, you know, clothes were coming off, I mean I was practically topless and he touched me and, well…then I moaned his name I think, I can’t fucking remember, but whatever I did it broke the spell and he ran.”

“Shit Leigh, I’m so sorry, I really thought you two were, well oblivious idiots for one, but you know destined and all that crap.”

“Oblivious idiots? What do you mean?”

“Oh, the moon eyes he gives you when you’re not looking. Both Sam and I are fed up with the pair of you not doing anything about it, but this puts a new slant on it. He grew up in the 40’s right? Maybe he’s used to treating women differently and making out on a public sofa, min you, anyone could have walked in you know…”

“I know that…” Leigh blushed at the thought of Sam or Darcy walking in on them.

“So maybe he was horrified at his own behaviour, and it’s not that he doesn’t like you. Did you talk to him about it afterwards?”

“No, if he had been he’d have said so, explained himself. Look Darce, I need to run this team and getting involved with someone in the team is not a good idea, so maybe it’s best it only went so far.” Leigh sighed.

“Ok, but you know I don’t believe you don’t you?”

“Doesn’t matter, like I said, you don’t always get what you want. Life’s a fuck up.”

“Talking of fuck ups, when are you contacting Barton?”

“Soon as I finish this call.”

“Right, well I’ll leave you to it, and just remember it could have been much worse.”

“How could that have been any worse?” Leigh asked, frowning.

“He could have run away in the morning.”

“Oh…,” Leigh breathed out as an image of her and Bucky naked ran through her mind, “Yeah, walk of shame and all that.”

“Exactly, so maybe you are right and this was for the best as at least you know where you stand now.”

“Yeah, on my own as usual.”

“Let me know when you’ve contacted dipstick and I’ll pop by, bring you a drink.”

“Ok, I’ll be in the kitchen probably, haven’t eaten much all day.”

“Bye sweetie.”

“Bye Darce.”

Leigh sat back in her seat and unlocked the room. She need to be able to contact the outside world for what she had to do next. Shaking her pulled her mobile phone out of her pocket and opened the contacts. She scrolled until she found the number she was looking for under R and quickly opened a text message.

Slowly she typed in the first line of code, smiling as she remembered why he’d chosen it in the first place.

#Hey diddle, diddle…#

She pressed send and quickly text Darcy to let her know she was on her way to the kitchen.

Darcy found her with a bowl of fries, watching as Leigh morosely dipped each chip in mayonnaise before eating it.

“Well hello you ray of fucking sunshine, how’re you feeling?” Darcy chirped as she jumped up onto one of the kitchen stool to pinch a french fry.

“Peachy with a side of keen.” Leigh quipped back, “I text Barton but not heard anything back yet.”

“Did you expect to?”

“No, but now I’m on edge waiting. What if he doesn’t contact me? No one has heard from him at all in over a year, since the snap reversed.”

“He’ll contact you, if you need him there’s nothing that would stop him from contacting you, look I know I’ve said some pretty horrible things about him and what he did to you, but the way he felt about you, I know he’ll be there if you need him,” Darcy paused to pinch another fry, “and when he does turn up you can punch him in his stupid face for me for leaving in the first place.”

Leigh snorted, a smile hovering on her lips, her eyes narrowing slightly as a faint sound hit her ears. She motioned to Darcy to be quiet and signed to her that there were people outside the kitchen. One good thing about Barton had been she’d learned ASL and had quickly taught Darcy some basic words.

~who?~ Darcy signed back

~Don’t know, Bucky?, Sam?, or both?~ Leigh signed

~ok~ Darcy grinned, leaning back in her chair.

“So, Bucky, he likes you.” Darcy grinned, her voice carrying.

Leigh looked at her in shock, signing furiously.

~what the fuck are you doing?~

~sorting this out~

“No, he doesn’t, why would you say that?” Leigh found herself interested in what Darcy had to say, in spite of herself.

“The way he looks at you, like he wants to eat you up with a spoon.”

“I don’t think so Darce, I think you’re seeing things, I think you need to get laid, so you can leave my love life alone.”

“You’re both oblivious idiots, the pair of you. Look at all boils down to the fact that you like him and he likes you and that’s all there is to it.”

“It doesn’t matter Darce, who likes who, I have too much going on right now to deal with a man who won’t talk to me.”

“Have you talked to him?” Darcy grinned, knowing full well she hadn’t.

“Darcy…” Leigh’s voice grew more desperate.

“I can’t.” Leigh admitted.

“Why not?” Darcy stopped her messing around and leaned towards her friend, watching her face crumple.

“Don’t make me say this Darce, please…” Leigh whispered, begging her friend.

“Say what? Leigh I have no idea what you’re talking about. What don’t you want to say?”

Leigh took a shuddering breath.

“Everyone I love leaves me in the end. My parents, Barton, and now Bucky, I can’t do it any more Darce. I can’t...” she trailed off, her voice no more than a whisper. She heard a slight noise and then footsteps receding.


	5. Chapter 5

Leigh cracked an eye open and immediately wished she hadn’t. Her head was pounding and she had sand paper in her throat. Blearily she blinked a few times to clear her fuzzy eyesight. She dimly remembered breaking down in the kitchen, knowing that Bucky could hear her but not able to stop herself. She groaned and rolled over, snuggling down under the warm duvet. She had admitted that she loved him, finally voicing what she’d known deep inside for a while. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of feelings that attacked her. Embarrassment, shame, pride and a good old fashioned dose of lust battered her from all sides and she just wanted to curl up under the duvet and never surface.

She lay on the edge of sleep, warm and secure listening to the sound of her heartbeat roaring in her ears, knowing that at some point she would have to face her team. Thankfully she was running a depleted team right now so it wasn’t that bad. Wanda Maximoff was in London, working with the London faction of S.H.I.E.L.D and Col. James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes was in Washington in his new position as liaison to Congress and the Armed Forces. Ever since General Ross had been deposed from his position there had been a vacuum, which Rhodey had stepped forward and taken before anyone had noticed. Leigh hadn’t blamed him from stepping away from direct action. He was still raw from the loss of his best friend and taking the liaison position was the easiest way for him to stay in the team.

Blearily Leigh sat up, smacking her lips together. She looked over at the digital clock to see what god awful time it was, her eyes narrowing on the fallen, empty bottle of vodka.

That would explain the headache and slight nausea when she moved. A flash of memory hit her and she groaned, feeling her stomach rebelling. Oh fuck…She dimly recalled being carried from the communal area and placed on her bed. A glimpse of dark metal holding her infiltrated her brain and she bolted from her bed, making it to the bathroom in time to empty her stomach, retching over and over as a clear, noxious liquid hit the toilet bowl. She slumped back onto the floor, resting her head against the cool tiles.

Weakly she got up on shaky legs and slowly made her way to the kitchenette to grab a bottle of water. She cracked the lid and slowly sipped half the bottle, feeling slightly better after.

She glanced down, pausing as she took note of what she was wearing. 

“Why the fuck…,” she paused as the target on the t shirt unlocked her tired brain.

“Barton.” She mumbled, making a dash back to her bedroom and phone.

Shakily she unlocked the phone and clicked on the messages icon.

It was there. 

A message from Clint Barton.

Her heart skipped a beat as she opened it, wincing when she saw the time stamp. 02:36. Fuck, she’d been dead to the world at that time, drunk out of her skull. Blearily she looked at the time at the top of her phone. 08:21. He’d understand.

She looked at the message and smiled

~the hawk and the fiddle~

She typed out the response and pressed send.

~the cow jumped over the moon~

Now it was just a case of waiting. There were 2 more pre-arranged responses before either one would know who exactly was contacting them. It had been set up originally as a three way email form of contact for herself, Nat and Clint on a shared VPN email drive, with little changes in the text to denote who was contacting and who was answering. If any of the phrases were even one word out they would know that something was wrong.

Coffee. She needed coffee, and a pair of sweatpants as she stood shivering in the early morning cool air. She still had no recollection of undressing and blushed, hoping beyond all reason that it had been Darcy that had undressed her and not the owner of the dark metal arm who had carried her drunk ass to her bed. She reached for her discarded sweatpants, lying over the back of her desk chair and pulled them on, slipping her feet into her sheepskin slippers and dragging her dressing gown over her shoulders.  
Wearily, she made her way back into the kitchenette and switched on her state of the art coffee machine, pouring ground coffee into the top and waiting for it to brew, as she leant against her breakfast counter, staring out across her living area, seeing nothing. Her phone buzzed, shaking her out of her stupor.

~the little hawk laughed to see such fun~

Leigh smiled, knowing she was one step away from really contacting him. She felt clammy and sweaty as she typed out the last response and hit send.

~and the babybird ran away with the spoon~

The coffee machine beeped behind her and she reached to pour some dark liquid into a fairly clean cup, as her phone rang. Slamming the cup down she picked up the phone from the breakfast bar and hit answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey babybird.” His sweet, gruff voice growled in her ears and she bit back a sob.

“H..hey,” her voice shook, “How are you?” she found herself at a loss of what to say to him.

All the things she’d wanted and needed to tell him over the past year from what he’d done to her, how hurt she’d been down to telling him about her day fled and she was left almost tongue tied.

“M’ok, life goes on, you?” he asked, his voice softening slightly. It was so good to hear her voice and he smiled.

“I’m ok,” she paused, feeling her words flooding back, “actually no, I’m not, I’m not ok, I’m barely scraping through each day. I’m running the team; did you know that? Once Steve left and Thor went off to god knows where and then you…,” she gulped, trying to stem the anger that was racing to come out, “went, there was no one left to take charge, Sam was struggling and Bucky,” she paused for a moment, snorting softly, “well Bucky’s Bucky, so I stepped up.”

“You always were good at taking control.” He chuckled, “Proud of you babybird, you did what I couldn’t, you stayed.”

“You didn’t give me a choice, did you? You just left without a word, Clint. One day you were here, the next, nothing. I looked for you for weeks until I got your number with that message.” anger and sadness bled through.

“M’sorry babybird. I had to leave…,” he stopped struggling to hold back the tears, “I had to leave, Laura, Lila, Cooper, Nate, you. I had to leave you. There was no way around it.”

“Why?... Why? That’s what has kept me awake at nights. Why? Do you have any idea what this did to me? To all of us? Do they know you’re alright?”

“Yeah, well sorta…I kept in contact with Laura until the divorce came through. She’s…they’re all better off without me, you too…you’ve done so well babybird, I’m so fucking proud of you, but that man, that Clint, he doesn’t exist anymore,” he exhaled loudly, sighing heavily, “you were right what you said, just before I left, do you remember?”

She could hear the weariness and defeat in his voice and it killed her, “Yeah,” she sighed, wiping away her tears, “I told you the darkness was consuming you from the inside out.”

“It did.”

“I would have come with you. I would have been by your side, no matter what.” She said, softly, her voice cracking.

“No, babybird, no, you have too much light inside you. I’m darkness, I’m death, I’m no good for you anymore, you gotta let me go babybird.” He sighed, running his hand over his tired face.

“Let you go? No, no fucking way am I letting you go, you fucking asshole!,” she spoke quickly and angrily, “don’t you dare do this to me, you hear me? Don’t you dare do anything…,” she dissolved into hot, angry sobs, “Don’t you dare take my family away from me, you are all I have left, you asshole. Don’t you get that? You and Nat were my fucking family and I lost her and then I lost you, so don’t…don’t you do this to me Clint. I need you Clint, I will always fucking need you…” she held the phone away as she sobbed into her dressing gown sleeve.

“hey, hey babybird? You there? Leigh? Speak to me.” He said, concern bleeding through into a slight panic.

“I’m here.” She sniffled, her face blotchy with tears, her throat heavy and sore.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

She chuckled mirthlessly

“S’funny?”

“Oh nothing, someone said those exact words to me last night. Seems to be catching,” she took a deep breath, sighing as she tried to think how to tell him her news, “Clint?”

“Yeah?”

“I need you to come in.”

“Nope, can’t do that babybird, I’m out. I don’t even have a bow anymore.” He admitted.

“What?” she asked, shocked. She turned to pick up her coffee and took a huge gulp of the cooling liquid.

“Broke it up into bits, soon after I left. I can’t return to that world anymore; to your world. The darkness, it’s under my skin Leigh, it’s all I can do every day not to let it out.”

“It’s Tasha.”

“What?” he bit, his voice sharpened, darkened.

“She’s…she’s alive Clint…”

“Don’t…don’t you dare…you take that back!,” he shouted, a sob bleeding through into his being, “You…how dare you Leigh, how fucking dare you…” he trailed off, openly sobbing, his voice gruff with hurt and anger, “she’s fucking dead Leigh, I was fucking there when she fucking died…so don’t…I didn’t think you were this cruel…”

“I have a photo; it’s been checked out and it’s real. Do you really think so little of me that you think I’d say this to you if I didn’t believe it was real? Clint, I love you, I would have followed you to the ends of the fucking Earth. I wouldn’t, couldn’t do this to you unless I had proof. She’s alive Clint and I need you to come in.”

“Don’t you fucking give me hope, babybird, don’t you dare…” he trailed off, his breathing laboured and heavy with tears.

“Oh Hawk, I would never ask you…” she paused to swallow the lump in her throat, visibly shaking as she cried softly, “never ask you to come in but I need you. We need you.”

“Where is she?”

“I can’t tell you that until you come in.”

“Leigh…babybird…” he growled, angrily.

“Don’t growl at me Hawk, you know as well I do, that if I told you, you’d be off like a shot and I can’t have that. I need you, as part of my team, there’s a lot more to this than just Nat and we do this together and we do it right. Please Clint…” she begged softly, on the verge of more tears.

“You at the compound?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Gimme three hours.” He growled, ending the call.

Leigh slid down the side of the breakfast bar, her chest constricting as she held the phone tight.

He was coming in.

Leigh stood in the communal kitchen, her leg shaking up and down. She was nervous and twitchy. She had told Darcy that Clint was coming in and had asked the others to meet her in the kitchen. Slowly she sipped her coffee, knowing the extra caffeine wouldn’t help but not really caring. She was going to see Clint and that was all that mattered. Nothing else was registering with her after his call. Not the fact that she’d got very hot and heavy with Bucky on the sofa or that she’d gotten very drunk afterwards, and that he’d carried her drunken ass to bed, nor the fact that she’d apparently been undressed and put into a t shirt and sleep shorts and she still wasn’t sure who had done that. None of that mattered. Not one little bit. 

Clint Barton was coming to her and that was all she could think of.

“Hey Leigh, how are you feeling this morning?” Sam’s voice boomed as he walked into the kitchen, his hair damp from the shower, a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

“Morning Sam, I’m doing ok, only threw up once so far, course it was never ending so there is that.” She grinned, sipping her coffee, her stomach wrapping itself in knots.

“Bucky’s on his way. He’s running late.” Sam grinned at her words.

“Oh ok, no problem, grab a coffee while we wait.” She motioned to the almost full pot behind her as she hopped up onto one of the kitchen stools, trying to keep her nervous energy under wraps.

Sam looked at her, his eyes narrowing as he grabbed a cup of coffee. She was twitching and her foot was jiggling against the stool. Something was up. Leigh never got nervous, or if she did she never showed it. He’d seen her in action, cool as a cucumber, taking a shot over 200 yards in a fucking blizzard and she’d never even flinched. Whatever she had to say to them had her riled up. He pulled out an adjacent stool and slid onto it, setting his mug down on the granite breakfast bar.

“Sam.” Bucky said, his voice soft and low as he entered the kitchen. He turned and nodded at Leigh, who nodded back, “Leigh.”

“Sarge.” She smiled, but it was obvious her attention was elsewhere.

Bucky looked at Sam who just shrugged. He grabbed a mug of coffee, adding a splash of creamer and joined them around the counter.

Leigh took a deep breath and looked up the men; her men, her team.

“Barton’s coming in.”

“What? You contacted him?” Sam exclaimed, his eyebrows reaching the sky.

“We spoke this morning,” she took a deep shaky breath, “and he’s coming in. He should be here,” she checked her watch, “in about twenty minutes, although knowing him, he probably got here early to scope the place.” She let out a short shaky laugh, nervously wrapping her long, damp hair around her hand.

“How are you feeling about this?” Sam asked, knowing how close she’d been to him.

“Fucking nervous Sam. Today was the first time I even spoke to him for over a year, I’m…,” she nervously glanced around the room, her face paling as she looked at the figure stood in the doorway, “fuck…” she trailed off.

“Hey babybird.”


	6. Chapter 6

Leigh stared at the forlorn, bedraggled figure in ripped jeans, messy hair and a black leather jacket for a split second, pushing the kitchen stool back so violently it toppled to the floor with a loud crash, then she was in his arms, clinging to him as if the world was ending.

“Oh my god, you’re here, you’re really here.” She half laughed, half sobbed as her arms wrapped around his neck and she breathed in his familiar woodsy scent.

“Course I’m here babybird, you needed me, right?” he chuckled, the unfamiliar sound rumbling through his chest. It had been a long time since he’d laughed.

“I’ll always need you Hawk,” She whispered, closing her eyes as his strong, muscular arms wrapped around her, shielding her from the world, sighing as she felt his head bow, resting against her shoulders, feeling the tension draining from him as they stood, holding each other.

Sam nudged Bucky and together they tiptoed from the room, leaving the two of them alone.

Barton cracked an eyelid watching as the two men walked past them, Sam looked relieved that he was there, but Bucky, there was something there and it was aimed at Leigh. Barton grinned to himself. Another puzzle to unwrap.

“Hey babybird, as lovely as this hug is, you think I can grab a coffee? I had to rush this morning and I missed out.”

“Oh god, yes, of course…here let me make you a new one.” She stammered, pulling back from him.

“S’fine, I’ll take this.” He gulped the remains of the lukewarm liquid direct from the pot, sighing as he did, looking at the pot sadly once he’d finished it.

Leigh grinned, holding her hand out for it.

“I’ll put another pot on.”

“Thanks Leigh.” He hopped up onto a kitchen stool and shrugged his jacket off, letting it fall to the floor, pulling up the sleeves of his grey Henley, showing off his tattoos.

She laughed as she picked the jacket up and laid it cross the end of the counter.

“Nice to know some things haven’t changed, slob.”

“Yeah, well, life’s too short...” He grinned back at her as the coffee brewed, its rich aroma filling the steel and glass kitchen.

“…and so am i.” she laughed, finishing the in joke, her face sobering as she really looked at him.

He looked tired; he sat slumped across the counter, his hair was a mess with chunks taken out the side of it, there was a smudge of dirt on his neck and across his forehead, his hands were beaten up and rough with old scabs across the knuckles.

Clint looked at her as she looked him over. She looked good; her hair was long, and shiny, she’d put on muscle across her shoulders and arms from what he could see, he wondered if she had gone up in draw weight, her skin was fresh and smooth and she stood tall and straight but her eyes, oh those beautiful deep blue eyes were sad and lost.

Leigh looked straight at him to find him staring at her. His face was lined and drawn, an old bruise high up on a cheekbone and his eyes, his strong green eyes were angry and lost.

“You look like shit Hawk, what the fuck happened to you?” she whispered as she walked closer to him, standing in between his splayed thighs, reaching out to cup his cheek.

“Life happened, Leigh. I got lost and I can’t find a way back.” He admitted, shuddering into her warm touch.

“I’ve missed you, you asshole," she sniffled, bending down to press a soft kiss against his cheek, “I fucking missed your stupid face.” Her voice broke and she pulled him to her, his head resting on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, feeling his arms wrap around her back, holding her close. This. This feeling of having his arms wrapped around her, feeling safe and secure, this was her Barton. She sighed, smiling.

“Missed you too babybird, missed your pretty face so fucking much,” He muttered, pulling back from her to look her in the eye, “I was selfish, selfish and hurt and no way round it. Told you I got divorced yeah?, Laura filed after I left, not that I blame her, I was a fucking asshole, not that I need to tell you that, right?,” he snorted, a small smile on his face, “yeah, all that worry, all that stress, all that fucking pain from the snap to finally getting them all back and then I leave anyway. Some fucking husband and father I turned out to be, not that there was much left anyway.”

“What?”

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” He murmured, turning away from her.

Leigh reached down to grab his roughened hands, threading her fingers through his to clasp them tightly to her, pulling back slightly tugging him forward on the stool, until he was as close to her as he could get. He shifted his open legs slightly to allow her more room. She stared down at him as he looked up at her.

“What wasn’t left Clint?” she asked, her voice calm and smooth with a hint of steel.

“You use that voice on your boys?,” he asked, a smirk on his face, “does it work?” he grinned.

“Most of the time.” She replied, sighing as he tugged back on their clasped hands forcing her to bend at the waist as she had nowhere to go. She felt his thigh muscles tighten around hers, squeezing her legs together until she was off balance. One quick tug from their joined hands and she had fallen forward, collapsing against his chest, blushing as she felt and heard his rough laughter rumbling through him. Of all the rookie mistakes to make.

“Jesus babybird, one year, I’ve been gone one year and you forget the most important thing of all. Never get close to a fucking predator unless they’re already dead.” He laughed as she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“And that is exactly why I fucking need you Clint fucking Barton…” she retorted, laughing.

“Hey Bucky, how are you man, sorry I didn’t get to say hello earlier, had my hands full…” Clint laughed as he looked over at the dark haired man standing in the doorway, “get up, you’re heavy, jeez woman, you put on some muscle?, or d’ya get fat?” Clint chuckled, pushing Leigh up until she could rebalance herself.

“Oh, you will pay for that one, asshole.” She grinned, turning to see Bucky staring at her. She could feel the blush rising as she knew he’d seen her in a compromised position with Clint.

“Hi James,” she looked at the mug he was holding, “Oh, I’ve just made coffee, talking of which, you want more before we start? The meeting is in an hour.” she turned back to Clint who raised an eyebrow at the small flush that was just noticeable above the deep V of her Henley top.

“I always want more, you know that babybird.” He growled, wiggling an eyebrow at her as she turned to walk to the coffee machine.

“Hey Buck, come and sit with me whilst the wench gets my coffee.”

“I’ll wench you in a minute Barton…” she sniggered, happily, as she poured the coffee into two cups, turning to grab Bucky’s from him with a smile, “he’s only getting away with this cause I haven’t seen him for over a fucking year,” she glared at Clint who grinned at her.

“No, it’s ok, I don’t want to interrupt…” Bucky smiled thinly.

“S’ok man, nothing to interrupt.” Clint grinned motioning for Bucky to take a seat.

Bucky sat down, feeling like a third wheel. Fuck, this must have been how Steve felt all those years ago when they’d go out and Bucky was surrounded by dames and Steve just sat and smiled.

He glanced up at Leigh as she placed his cup in front of him and smiled. She looked happy; happier. Happier than he’d ever seen her in the previous year. He sighed softly, looking down at his cup.

Clint’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the older? younger? man. The semantics of it hurt his brain. Technically Bucky was way older than he was but in life experience he was so much younger. After all it wasn’t like he’d had a life as the Winter Soldier. There was something going on between Bucky and Leigh but he was buggered if he could figure it out. Still, there was always room to cause trouble, maybe that would flush out whatever the fuck was going on. There was still a little of the old Clint Barton inside after all.

"So, how have you been man, been a while since…” Clint trailed off smiling at Bucky.

Bucky grinned back “Not much except for work. Not really had the time for anything else.”

“This one riding you hard?” Clint grinned, chuckling as Bucky choked on his coffee.

“Wrong hole?” Clint laughed, leaning over to whack the other man on the back until the coughing subsided.

“Yeah,” Bucky rasped, clearing his throat, “something like that.” He stared at the older man. There was an undercurrent going on here but he had no idea what. He’d heard the words and an image of Leigh straddling him, riding his cock hard, had flashed across his mind and he’d breathed in the mouthful of coffee.

“You ok Bucky?” Leigh asked, moving around to sit next to Clint.

“Yeah, can’t breath and drink at the same time, or so it seems. Steve would have killed himself laughing at that. He was always the klutz out of the two of us.”

“Hey babybird,” Clint smiled as she settled next to him, “I was asking Bucky what’s been going on and he mentioned he’s not had time for anything other than work. You’re riding him too hard babybird, you don’t always have to be on top, gotta slow down, you know? take your time, enjoy it.”

Leigh could feel the flush moving up her chest at Clint’s words and she glanced over at Bucky to see the same flush on his neck. She narrowed her eyes and glanced at Clint, who was sat back, enjoying his second cup of coffee. Did he know? What did he know?

Clint glanced at the pair of them. Gotcha. He knew something was going on between them and now he had a better idea. God he was going to have so much fun with these two. Grinning he took another swig of his coffee before ambling over to grab another.

Leigh looked up to see Bucky staring at her. She shrugged and mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ at him before Clint rejoined them.

“Hey baby, you got any food in this place? Someone,” he smiled at her, “got me out of bed early this morning and I had no time for food, but then it wouldn’t be the first time would it?” he grinned amiably at her, ignoring her puzzled look, “So Bucky, what kind of things did you like to do way back when? I feel like I never really got to know you before, well before all this crap happened.”

“Oh, um,” he thought for a moment then smiled, his eyes crinkling as a memory surfaced.

“Stevie and I used to go dancing, you know, ‘way back when’,” he grinned, “grab a couple of dames and dance all night. It was fun, cheap and fun.”

“Dancing huh? Leigh used to dance.”

“I did ballet, it’s not the same kind of dancing as Bucky is talking about,” she risked a quick glance at Bucky who was looking at her puzzled, “Steve used to talk about the dancing, said you used to be a real ladies man on the dance floor.” She smiled, bending to pull a frozen pizza out of the freezer before unwrapping it and leaving it on a pan, waiting for the oven to pre heat.

“Well, you know, when you can dance and the ladies are in to dancing then you become popular, real fast.” His accent thickened back into 1940s Brooklyn as he grinned at her.

“Anyway, I’ve seen you doing your ballet and if you can twist yourself into those kind of contortions then you can do pretty much any kinda dance, that right Buck?” Clint smiled at her, sipping his coffee.

Leigh narrowed her eyes at him. She knew he was up to something and whilst part of her was puzzled as to what, the majority of her was just so fucking glad he was here she was prepared to let it go.

“I guess so, dancing is pretty much just being flexible enough and having good rhythm and I guess Ballet makes you kinda flexible.”

“Oh she’s really flexible,” Clint laughed, “and she’s got great rhythm.” He grinned.

She turned back from the pizza and glared at him.

“I haven’t done any Ballet for years, haven’t had the time, after all I’ve been running the fucking Avengers and saving the fucking world.” She snapped, turning back, her head bowed as she leant against the kitchen counter.

Clint was the first one to reach her, his hand stroking her shoulder, pulling her into a hug.

“What’s up babybird?” he murmured, rubbing circles on her back, whilst Bucky just sat and watched.

“What are you up to? I can hear it you know? All those double entendres, you think I wouldn’t notice?” she whispered furiously.

“You trust me babybird?”

“Always.”

“Then trust me.” He whispered back, pressing a soft kiss on the side of her head.

Leigh sighed and turned back to ask Bucky if he wanted any pizza but he had gone. His empty mug left on the counter.


	7. Chapter 7

Leigh walked into the conference room to find Sam, Bucky and Clint waiting for her. She’d freshened up and was wearing her S.H.I.E.L.D uniform as she walked to the head of the conference table, sitting down in front of the console. Her hair was pulled back in a tight braid and she’d managed to put mascara and a little lip gloss on. As much as she loved running the team on a day to day basis, it was moments like this that she lived for. To be the one in front, taking charge and making decisions. She had been 3 of 3 in the team with Clint and Nat and she’d been perfectly content to be the littlest spoon in the drawer, they had known so much more than she had but this, this was all hers. She coughed to clear her throat, conscious that all eyes were on her and she looked at each one, a small grin appearing as Clint winked at her wiggling his eyebrows at her uniform. She clicked on a small button and listened as the room went into lockdown.

“Gentlemen” she nodded at them, “This room is now in lockdown, we are cut off from the external world, with no mobile signals nor internet access. Since I took over this position this is only the 3rd time I have had to do this, the other two times were yesterday. Approximately six weeks ago S.H.I.E.L.D received a signal from the Raft, some of you will remember that lovely place with fond memories,” she smiled at Sam and Clint, who scowled at her, crossing his muscular arms as he stared at her, “this signal was intermittent but was a repeated sequence. By the time we, meaning this group, received word 48 hours had passed. Now I realise that S.H.I.E.L.D is being rebuilt from scratch but I am astonished that it took a person who had been around in the 1940s to recognise it was Morse Code, for which I thank you Bucky,” she smiled at the dark haired man as he shifted in his seat, " It was an S.O.S signal so I sent both Sam and Bucky to investigate, thinking it would be a 48 hour, in and out recon, Observe, Record, Report. Yesterday, approximately six weeks later, both Sam and Bucky finally returned. I’m going to hand over to Sam to explain what happened. I do have the mission report in front of me but I must say Sam, your typing skills are pretty bad,” she chuckled, “So I feel it’s easier, if it’s ok with you, for you to give the report.”

“Hey, when I joined up no one said I had to type…” Sam chuckled as he sat forward in his chair, “So Bucky and I got to the Raft, found it pretty much abandoned, or so we thought. The Front door was wide open if you get my meaning. We went in, looked around, couldn’t find anyone at first. The upper levels were completely in the dark, no electricity, which forced us to go to lower levels. Thankfully we had our oxygen indicators and masks as the levels below number 5, it was hard to breath, like the oxygen supply had been switched off, you know? As we got lower and lower we found more and more bodies of guards, personnel and some prisoners still in their cells. It was creepy as fuck,” he turned to look at Leigh, “Sorry,”

“Hey, we’re the Avengers, swear all the fuck you like, I don’t care what, or who you do as long as you tell me about it, remember?” Leigh smiled back at him, motioning for him to go on.

“Right, yeah, well Bucky traced the signal to the 20th floor, which was the lowest we could go and still have enough oxygen to get out, which, you know, made my Spidey sense tingle. I mean what are the odds of that? Anyway, we found the signal and a Stark pad next to it, both were plugged into a separate electricity supply. The Stark Pad had a note on it asking me to press play, so I did and up popped our old friend Helmut Zemo. He’d set the whole thing up. Managed to escape when the snap happened as the electricity had shorted out. He left a map of Sofia, with an address and a further note that said, “catch me if you can.”

Leigh shifted in her seat. She’d read the report but hearing Sam talking about it had sent shivers down her spine. She looked across to Clint to find him engrossed with what Sam was saying. She looked over at Bucky, her eyes widening slightly, her heart rate increasing, as he stared back at her, his face poker straight. She gulped , breathing deeply and turned back to Sam.

“Sounds even worse when you say it Sam and I read the report.” She breathed, shaking her head to hide her reaction.

She risked another glance at Bucky and he was still staring at her. She could feel a flush beginning, hidden for the moment by her high necked shirt and she breathed deeply to try to ward it off.

“Yeah, it was even worse being there. Like what kind of sick fuck do you have to be to set something like this up? So, we had no comms, our own comms had been shorted as we went below level 5 and we had no way of contacting you. We talked about it between us and realised we had a small window in which to get to Sofia.”

“Sam, sorry to interrupt but how did you know you’d find anything? I mean, was there anything to indicate when the recording had been made on the Stark Pad? For all you knew it could have been made when the snap happened.”

“Yeah, Bucky said the same, until Zemo appeared with a dated newspaper…”

“Fuck, don’t tell me it was the same date the signal started.” She groaned, laying her head against the desk for a moment, “Fucking S.H.I.E.L.D, fucking Morse Code,” she looked up at Sam, “that wasn’t in your report though.”

“Oh, sorry, musta missed it.”

“I’m now seriously rethinking having F.R.I.D.A.Y take notes…”

Sam grinned at her and even Bucky managed a small smile.

Clint sat back, quietly listening. This part of the report was interesting but it wasn’t what he’d come for.

“So,” Sam began again, “We got to Sofia, thankfully the quinjet is fast, and we staked out the address for a couple of days, the Ivan Nazov National Theatre…”

“I know that name…” Clint interrupted, “Nat and did a hit there a few years ago, but one of the guys got away. S’how I got the scar on my left leg, you know, the one just at the back of the knee.”

“Only you Clint would have to explain exactly which scar you were talking about,” she chuckled, “most of us only have one or two,” she flushed slightly as her gaze levelled with Bucky’s and he raised an eyebrow.

“Anyway, you were saying Clint? Which hit was it?”

“God, I’d need to go through my notes, Coulson took them, had them transcribed up into the report. It was 2000, 2001, something like that…” he trailed off, unsettled for the first time since he’d arrived.

“Go on Sam.” Leigh asked.

“We decided to go at night, we’d done the recon on the alarm system, it was Russian made shit. Took Bucky 45 seconds to dismantle. So we get inside and the entire place is dark, like we expected, it was night time after all, except for one room, there was a light shining under the door. We made a note of it and back tracked out to see if we could find it from the outside, you know, I may have been born at night but this momma’s child was not born last night. There was no fucking way we were going through the door. Turns out it was a good call as it was rigged to explode as soon as you turned the handle. We got inside trough the window and found Alexei Gregoriev…”

“That was him!…” Clint exclaimed, sitting forward, his entire frame tense, “that was the piece of shit, Hydra fucker, who incapacitated Nat with an electric shock and stuck a fucking knife in my leg. Think he was aiming for the artery but I twisted and he got me just under the back of my knee. That fucking hurt too.” He grumbled, reaching round to rub the scar.

“Ok, so we now that at least one of the bodies you found was directly connected with Natasha, did you find anything else there?”

“Once we’d confirmed he was dead, which he was, very dead…,” Sam shuddered at the memory of an almost decapitated man propped up against a fireplace, his hand around his sawn off dick, “well, I was ready to make it out of there, you know, but Bucky kept looking at the scene, like he knew it.”

“It was a Red Room set up,” Bucky began , his voice low and full of self-loathing, “I knew it because I’d seen it before, I’d been there when Natasha had killed before.” He finished at sat back, his head in his hands for a moment or two, his breathing shaken.

“So then, “Sam began, slightly shaken up at Bucky’s admission, “Bucky started pulling out drawers in the desk, looking at them, and on one of them was a small scratched insignia, like two triangles, an hourglass kind of thing.”

“Black widow.” Clint breathed, running his hand through his messy hair, “Shit…Nat…what the fuck…” he trailed off, hunching forward in his chair, his eyes glassy.

Leigh looked around at the men in front of her and decided they could do with a break. Both Clint and Bucky were extremely shaken by what had been said so far.

“Ok, let’s take a break, I think we all need to go, shake this off, grab a coffee, bathroom break, whatever. Be back in 30 minutes.” She breathed; her own voice shaky.

She watched Sam and Clint make for the coffee pot in the kitchen and turned to Bucky who was still sat, staring at nothing. She got up and went round to take Sam’s seat, next to him.

“Bucky?” she said softly, careful not to touch him as he stared off into the distance, “James?”

He focused in on her with a start, “Sorry, I was…”

“It’s ok,” she took a deep breath, “ I take it…that Sam didn’t know about your involvement with the Red Room and Natasha?”

He shook his head, his eyes a little glassy.

“Clint…Clint didn’t know either. I never told him.” She reached out to lay her hand on his arm, squeezing it slightly, “Look Clint and I have a complex, complicated relationship but I want you to know that whilst he’s part of this team, my team I will not put one of you over another. You are equally as important to me, and if you need to talk to me, about whatever the fuck you can think of, then come and find me, ok?” She smiled, moving her hand down to squeeze his hand.

“Thank you.” He nodded, his eyes staring down at the floor.

“Let’s get a coffee, before those two gannets drain us both dry of all the caffeine in the place.” She laughed, getting up and holding her hand out for him to take. 

Bucky smiled up at her.


	8. Chapter 8

“Did you know?” Sam asked Clint as he sipped his coffee.

Clint looked at him with a frown, “Did I know what?”

“Did you know? About Bucky and the Red Room, about Nat? Cause Leigh sure as hell knew.”

Clint sighed, shaking his head. That little bombshell had blindsided him. He was angry at Nat for not telling him when he pulled her into S.H.I.E.L.D and he was angry at Leigh for not telling him in advance of the meeting. Fuck. Nat and Bucky had known each other before. When she was in the Red Room. His heart rate spiked and he took a deep breath to try and calm his mind. He could feel his face flushing and knew he had to get out; get some air.

“Sorry man, gotta…” he trailed off, pushing past a shocked Sam.

“Hey, Clint, you ok?...”

Clint rushed down the corridor from the kitchen to the staircase. No. he needed to get himself under control. He could feel the darkness pressing in on him and he blindly fled, unseeing down the stairs.

“Hey Sam, you ok?,” Leigh smiled as she and Bucky entered the kitchen. Bright sunlight streamed through the large window at the end of the room, illuminating the wood and granite counter tops.

“Yeah, gotta say though man, that was a bit of a shock. Buck, you shoulda warned me man,” Sam turned to look at his partner, seeing the look of discomfort on the dark haired man’s face, “I wouldn’t have judged you for it, hell no, but we could have talked about it, you know?”

Bucky looked up at his friend and partner in crime, a small smile on his face. He sighed, his shoulder relaxing a fraction as the tension he was holding inside bled out.

“Thanks man, just a dark time, you know.”

“Oh I know that one, seen my fair share of the fight, remember? But the first step in all of it, is talking, so you wanna talk? Talk to me.” Sam smiled a wide grin, his eyes twinkling as he reached out to pull the other man into a one armed hug, “partners yeah? Gotta tell me things, so I’m not caught out.”

“Ok.” Bucky nodded, a true smile breaking out.

“Where’s Clint? Bathroom break?” Leigh grinned at the sight of her boys hugging it out.

“Oh, nah, he rushed out of here a few minutes before you came in. I asked him if he knew, ‘bout…you know and he said no, he looked angry and his face was…”

“Red, was his face going red?” Leigh asked, her eyes widening.

Sam nodded and she spun on her heel and rushed out. She knew he’d head outside, if he could and she flew down the stairs. Shit. Shit. Shit. He had better not have left. She’d only just got him back and…No, she couldn’t think about that. Find him first and then…deal with the aftermath.

She reached the atrium, rushing through the large open space, scaring a couple of lab personnel who were on their way to the mess hall as she wrenched open the glass front door, running outside to stop dead and stare around her at the large open, empty drive way, her chest heaving as the sudden heat of the day hit her. Shit. She couldn’t see him anywhere. Her shoulders slumped and she turned to go back inside.

He was sat, hunched forward, on a stone bench, set into the end of the building, in the shade. She could smell the cigarette smoke and, heaving a sigh of relief, she slowly made her way over to him, blinking to clear her eyes of a sudden rush of tears.  
She slumped down next to him, careful to keep a slight space between them.

“Hey you, gotta spare one?” she asked, looking forward and not at him. She’d seen him in a panic attack before and he was not the kind of man to be overprotected. He was more likely to break into anger, which she’d found out to her cost before he’d walked away.

Wordlessly Clint handed her a cigarette and a lighter and she lit it and inhaled, choking slightly as the acrid smoke hit the back of her throat. She heard a slight chuckle and turned to glare at him.

“It’s been a while ok?” she smiled, exhaling the smoke, sighing as she felt the headrush of nicotine hitting her system.

“Why didn’t you tell me Leigh?”

She blew out a deep breath and turned to look over the large empty drive way, “I…I don’t know. I should have and I'm sorry.”

“When did you know? What do you know?” he asked, his voice low and dark.

“Since I took over. I had Nick’s files. I needed to know who my team were, you know? So I read everyone’s files and…”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” he countered, angrily, turning to look at her, reaching out to grab her upper arm, forcing her to turn and look at him, his leg pressing against hers.

“When? Tell me that Clint. When was I meant to have told you? When I first took over and you’d apparently retired, without telling me, or when you’d suddenly appear at the compound, drunk? Or maybe after you fucking walked away? Tell me,” she retorted, anger spilling out of her, “exactly when was I meant to have told you? You left me, remember? You were no longer a part of this team, so tell me, when?” she stared into his stormy green eyes, her chest heaving with sudden annoyance, seeing a flash of rage as he stared down at her, his face contorted and angry.

She took another drag of the cigarette, blowing out the blue-grey smoke as she felt his grip on her arm relax and falter.

“I will forget you grabbed my arm like that, because you were blindsided, and I understand that, but you ever do that again and I’ll remove your fucking fingers.” She said, her voice low and clipped and full of fury, as she flicked her cigarette away.

His hand fell away from her and he slumped forward, leaning his elbows on his thighs.

“M’sorry,” he whispered, turning to look at her, his eyes full of apology as he reached out to squeeze her thigh, leaving his warm hand resting there.

“Oh Clint,” she sighed, reaching down to thread her fingers through his, holding his hand tightly, “I’m sorry too. I should have found a way to tell you, to warn you but…”

“Shit happened?” he chuckled, pulling her close, pressing a soft kiss against her temple, smiling as she leaned into him.

“Will you stay?” she asked, resting her head on his chest.

“Hmmm?” he murmured, resting his cheek on her head.

“Will you stay? Here? While we get this mission together, or…”

He took a deep breath, looking out at the fields and trees beyond the drive way boundary.

“I dunno babybird, been a long time since I stayed with someone.” He replied, honestly, understanding the subtext of her question.

“Oh.” She whispered, snuggling against him, feeling his chest rise with every breath.

“Guess I’ll need to arrange for my dog to be looked after for a little longer…” he smiled against her hair.

Leigh pulled away slightly so she could look up at him.

“You have a dog?” she asked, amazed.

“Yeah, he’s a Labrador type thing. I may or may not have been running from the Russian Mob when they hit him with their car. I grabbed him, took him to the vet and they patched him up. He’s got one eye and answers to the name of Lucky.”

“I don’t even know where to begin unpicking that sentence. The Russian Mob? What the fuck Clint?”

“They owned the building I live in,” he grinned, “and they were trying to raise the rent on my neighbours, a nice family but she’s a single mom, and there’s no way she could afford a rent increase so I went to see the leader, and we came to an arrangement, where I bought the building, he let me and I didn’t kill him.” he stated plainly, shrugging his shoulders.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a minute…you threatened the head of the Russian Mafia?” Leigh sat up and stared at him incredulously. What the fuck?

“Wasn’t a threat. Was a promise. He saw what I did to some of his men and he agreed with me, that me not killing him would be good for his health.” He grinned, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Leigh sat there, stunned for a moment as she went over what he’d just told her. One thing shot to the forefront of her thoughts.

“You own a building?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Wow, just wow…Clint Barton, Landlord and dog owner.”

“That’s what you take away from all of that?” he asked, laughing.

“Well, yeah, thinking about it, threatening the head of a local Russian mob is not the craziest thing you’ve ever done. I’ve read the file on Budapest…,” she grinned at him, watching as he blushed slightly, “but you being a landlord and owning a dog? Yeah, pretty crazy.” She laughed back.

“Yeah, right up there with being a husband and father.” He quipped, his mouth twisting bitterly.

“Oh Clint, that’s not fair. I saw you with your kids, you were a great father, you loved them, you still do love them…”

“But not a good husband though?” he grinned at her, raising an eyebrow.

“No comment…” she laughed, her eyes sparkling, flashes of hot breath on skin making her shiver.

Leigh looked at her watch, “Come on old man, we’d better get back in, otherwise this day will never end.” She got up and held out her hand for him to take, laughing at his raised eyebrow.

“That was for the fat comment…” she quipped as they headed back inside.

Leigh retook her seat and took off her jacket. The day had warmed up quite considerably and she was hot from being sat outside for so long.

“Thank you all for waiting so long,” she smiled at the three men sat in various sprawls across from her, “Sam, when you’re ready, take it from leaving Sofia. How did you find the next breadcrumb,” she consulted her notes to check the next city they’d ended up in, “to Bucharest?…,” 

Sam took a deep breath, “Yeah, you may well ask that,” he shook himself and sat up straight, cracking his neck muscles, “there was another Stark Pad, don’t know why I didn’t notice it at first, it was laid out on the desk. I hit play and the was Zemo with another dated newspaper, from 2 days previously, and another map, this one for Bucharest with another address.”

“Let me guess, the Museum of Bucharest in the Şuţu Palace…” Clint interjected, frowning heavily.

“Yeah…,” Sam tilted his head at the older man, “So we get there, do some recon and stake the place out, and the same set up, another dead guy in a small office, same rigging, same decapitated body, holding his sawn off dick in his hand…”

“Wait. What?” Leigh asked, aghast, “That was most definitely not in your report. Sam, I need to know these things.” She sighed, rolling her eyes at him.

“Why? It was creepy as fuck and disturbing. I didn’t think…”

“No, you didn’t.” she bit back, sighing, closing her eyes, “I'm sorry Sam, I shouldn’t have snapped at you, but what you’ve described. That was Nat’s old MO. It was what she would do on a kill, granted it wasn’t every kill, but the most important ones; those who had a connection to her.”

“Oh…” his dark eyes widened as he let out a breath.

“So, I need to know these things.”

“Then I guess I better tell you that the second Stark Pad, in Sofia, started a timer on the bomb wired to the door. We barely got out before it blew.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Fucks sake…jesus fucking Christ Sam, you’re only telling me this now?” her voice rose as she stared at him, “you could have been killed for fucks sake, the pair of you…,” she stared in disbelief at what he’d said. Bucky. She could have lost Bucky. She took a deep breath before continuing, “You’re grounded, the pair of you… Jesus fuck…I wish I could ground you, send you to your rooms, least then I wouldn’t come close to losing you…” she trailed off, her face paling as she glanced at Bucky.

“OK, I’m sorry, I lost my head for a bit. I take your point.” Sam apologised sheepishly.

“So can I take it that each room you were sent to had the same set up, same decapitated head a sawn off dick, same insignia and same explosion?”

“Yeah, until we got to Moscow.”

“Who were the stiffs in the rooms?” she asked, an eyebrow raised as Clint snorted.

“Well Alexei Gregoriev in Sofia, Marius Balan in Bucharest,” he stopped to look at Clint who nodded in recognition, “and Miroslav…”

“Petrović…” Clint finished for him, glancing over at both Sam and Bucky, noting the flush of anger on Bucky’s face. The names meant something to him too.

“Can I assume they were all connected to Nat at some point?” Leigh asked, stretching her legs out under the table, glancing between Clint and Bucky.

“Yeah, the first one? Nat and I had a hit on, we missed. The only time we ever did, mind you, the other two she mentioned to me in passing.”

“They were part of the Red Room.” Bucky admitted, his voice strained.

“Right, thanks Buck,” Leigh looked at him, waiting for him to look at her but he kept his gaze on the floor, “Ok, so Moscow.” She flicked a switch and the photo of Natasha appeared on the white wall behind her.

Clint stared at it, giving it all his attention as he studied the face of his partner, best friend and soul mate, Natasha Romanoff.

“Yeah, Moscow. We’d been given an address, Zakaroovo, Bolsheyay Vazomy,” he grimaced as he mangled the names much to the amusement of Bucky.

“Zakharovo, Bolshiye Vyazyomy in the Odintsovsky District.” Bucky talked over him, grinning at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, what he said,” Sam grinned before getting back to business, “We get there, do our usual recon but they knew, they knew we were coming and they most definitely knew we were there. Buck managed to get a photo, the one you’ve seen, plus one of Zemo,” he looked at Leigh’s raised eyebrows and thinned lips, and smiled wryly, “which I have yet to give you, and then all hell broke loose. We waited until dark, like normal but didn’t manage to get even five feet inside before we were surrounded. There was a voice saying all kinds of stuff in Russian, I didn’t really understand it…”

“Zhelaniye, Semnadtsat, Rzhaviy, Rasvet,”

Leigh looked on in horror as Bucky spoke, his voice hardening with each word, his face poker straight, sweat appearing in his hairline and dripping down his face.

“Pech, Devyat, Dobroserdechniy, Vozvrasheniye na rodinu, Adin, Tovarniy vagon,” he spat the last word out, “Soldat? gotovy podchinit'sya.” His voice was flat, as he clenched his fists, breathing heavily by the end.

Bucky stared at her, his eyes shuttered, the chair tipping back violently as he shot up and stalked over to the door, frustrated when he couldn’t open it, banging on it.

“Open the fucking door!” He growled, turning to glare at her, his teeth bared, his metal arm raised.

“No.” Leigh stood and walked over to him.

“Leigh? Babybird?” Clint called out, panic in his voice, having been caught off guard by Bucky’s outburst.

She turned and held up her hand placatingly to him as she approached Bucky. He stood facing the heavily armoured and wired door, his metal arm pulled back as if to punch through.

“Bucky?,” she said, softly, reaching out to touch his hand, feeling the cool metal under her fingers, holding her ground as he rounded on her, his chest heaving, eyes flashing wildly. She kept her hand lightly on his and looked straight at him, “James. James? You’re ok, you’re safe, James? Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, also known as Bucky or that flirty little shit, if I'm in a bad mood.” She smiled at him as he slowly lowered his arm, his chest heaving, shoulders strained as he fought against the memories of what those words did to him.

“Leigh?” he whispered, licking his lips, biting softly.

“You’re ok, Shuri removed those words remember? Which is why you were able to say them.”

“I know, I know. I just…didn’t think I’d have such a reaction to hearing them come from me...shit…” he let out a shaky breath, slumping as the tension left him.

Slowly, still holding his hand, Leigh led him back to his seat.

“You’re ok Bucky, alright?,” she whispered, crouching down to look him straight in the eyes, smiling as he nodded, “Are you ok if we get through the rest of the report,” she asked, softly, reaching up to brush his hair back from his face, her hand lingering for a moment against his cheek, “ or do you want to leave?”

“No, I’m ok doll, I…,” he blew out a shaky breath, “I’ll be ok.”

Clint narrowed his eyes at the pet name, one eyebrow raised.

Leigh smiled, “Right you are Sarge.” She got up and went back to her seat.

Sam leant over to nudge the dark haired man.

“Shit, I’m sorry man, I didn’t know what they were saying otherwise…”

“It’s ok, I’ll be ok.” Bucky murmured back, feeling his breathing settling and his heart rate levelling out.

“Ok, Sam, if we can get to how you got out, I think we can leave the fighting for now.” Leigh asked, glancing over at Bucky, who was leaning forward, his head in his hands as he got himself under control.

“Yeah, right. Well there’s not much else to say then. We took out the goons, it’s in the report how we did it, then we managed to make our way back out and fled. That’s it.”

“So you never came face to face with either Natasha or Zemo?”

“Nah, never made it that far in.” Sam admitted.

“Ok, well I need to think this over and come up with a plan of attack,” she unlocked the room and wasn’t surprised when Bucky was the first to leave. She slumped back in her chair, closing her eyes, sighing heavily at what had happened. She felt a rush of air hit her face and cracked open an eye.

“That was fucking stupid you know?” Clint’s face was in front of hers, his green eyes sparking in anger and a little bit of fear.

“He wouldn’t have hurt me.”

“You don’t know that.”

She stared at him, her face hardening slightly, “No, I don’t, but it seems to me the only one who’s ever hurt me was you.”

She squeaked in surprise as he smashed his lips against hers, his warm hands cradling her face.


	9. Chapter 9

Darcy waltzed into the kitchen and stopped dead. She glanced around the room trying to figure out what was wrong. She spotted Leigh sat over by the window and walked over.

“Hola mi chica, como estas?” she said, cheerily as she flopped down in a chair next to her.

“No preguntes, ha sido un día de mierda.” Leigh sighed, glancing around the room.

“Pourquoi?” Darcy pressed, switching to french, a language she felt more comfortable in, having learned it first.

“Putain d’hommes…” Leigh spat, glancing over at where Clint and Bucky were sat, seeing a puzzled look on Bucky’s face. Fucking super soldier hearing.

“oh kay then…anything we can talk about that isn’t gonna start world war whatever, I’ve lost count…”

Leigh sniggered at the younger woman, “Yeah, the lasagne isn’t bad. It’s in the oven, salad in the fridge. Grab me a beer while you’re there?”

“Yes ma’am.” Darcy quipped, sticking her tongue out as she got up to get her food.

One rule that Leigh had put in place was dinner. It was in the kitchen, 7pm on line dot, and if you were at the compound then only death’s door was an excuse not to attend. She felt it was a good way to keep the team in contact with each other and gave them all a regular time to let go and be free with each other; a time to catch up and touch base and not feel so alone. She was beginning to regret that as she glanced over at Sam, Bucky and Clint. All were sat round the end of the kitchen counter, whispering amongst themselves while she was sat at the far end of the room, next to the window. Not that she blamed them. She had been the one to storm in, fucking furiously, grab her food and sit by herself so she didn’t exactly blame either of the men for not wanting to be near her.

“Beer.” Darcy whistled, dropping the open bottle onto the low glass table, balancing her plate as she lowered herself into the slouchy chair.

“Remind me why we’re not at the kitchen counter with the rest?” she asked, trying to sit forward on the low slung chair and eat off the table.

“Not here,” Leigh took a deep breath in, rubbing her hand over her tired face, worrying her bottom lip between her white teeth, “Darce, go sit with them, don’t give yourself indigestion for me...” she sighed again, “I’m gonna go. I need to be alone right now. This fucking day has been…I can’t even tell you, so please, go sit and chat and I’ll catch up with you later.” Leigh levered herself up and grabbing her bottle of beer she made her way over to the fridge, aware of four sets of eyes watching her every move and retrieved a fifth of vodka, seeing Bucky raise an eyebrow at her choice.

“Not a word.” She snarled at the dark haired man and headed off to her quarters, slamming the fridge door shut as she left.

“Hey guys, you don’t mind if I join you, do you?” Darcy smiled, hopping up onto one of the stools and cutting into her lasagne.

“Hey Darce, long time no see.” Sam grinned at her.

“Hey yourself Captain fucking America,” she sniggered, taking a bite of the food, “fuck, that’s hot,” she chewed and swallowed, “ and delicious…shit, that girl can cook…”

“Who? Which girl?”

“Leigh,” she paused as all three men looked at her, all of them puzzled, “shit guys, you’re telling me you’ve been here for a year with her and not noticed she was doing the food? Who the fuck did you think was doing it? the food fairy?”

“I wasn’t here so…” Clint murmured as he took a long swallow of beer.

“Yes…we know…” Darcy drawled, looking at him over the top of her glasses, “ tell me Clint, has she punched you in your stupid face yet?”

“What?” he asked, totally bemused.

“I told her, when you turned up to punch you in your stupid face…for me.”

“No, she hasn’t, not yet…but the day is young.” He quipped, a wry smile on his face at her raised eyebrows as she tried to hide a grin.

“When does Leigh find the time to cook?” Bucky asked, “I’ve never seen her cook, apart from those cookies she makes for Christmas.”

“Aww, Christmas cookies, she makes them for you guys? God I miss those cookies.” Clint breathed out a grin plastered across his face at the thought of the cinnamon and ginger snap cookies Leigh had made for him and Nat one Christmas, when they’d been on a mission in Paris. They’d purposely taken the day off as all Parisians, including their target would be in their homes and not easily accessible, and Leigh had made these amazingly delicate cinnamon and sugar snap cookies and had decorated them with their insignias, in lieu of presents. The gift giving had come later.

“She cooks when you’re all out on missions and she’s stuck here. It’s the one thing that keeps her from going insane over you guys. She made this batch last weekend, when Wanda said she was staying in London for another couple of months, but she’s been cooking and filling that freezer non stop until you two turned up yesterday,” she looked at the three men sitting around her and snorted, “god, you’re all so fucking up your own asses aren’t you? You don’t even see the thin line she treads…so which one of you gentlemen caused the anger tonight then? Or was it all of you?”

Clint sighed and put his beer down.

“Oh, I shoulda put a bet on that it was you.”

“I’ll go…and…” he trailed off, getting up.

“Hey Hawkguy, plate, in the dishwasher. Not your fucking maid…” Darcy glared at him until he scraped the remains into the bin and put his plate and cutlery in the dishwasher.

“Remind me Darce, to never ever get on your bad side.” Sam quipped as Bucky snorted softly before turning back to his food. Darcy was scary at times.

Clint paused outside Leigh’s quarters. She was still in the same one she’d been given when they’d all first arrived at the compound. A small, or compact as she called it, one bedroom apartment with a kitchenette/living area and bathroom. As the de facto leader she could have taken over Tony’s old apartment but hadn’t.

He knocked on the door and waited. He knocked again and waited, grumbling under his breath until he resorted to continual knocking the door opened.

“What the fuck?…” she yelled, stopping when she saw him, “what?” she snapped, standing in the doorway, her hair wet and dripping down the back of her damp t shirt and leggings.

“Can we talk?”

“Come in, let me grab my towel, I was in the fucking shower.” She turned away as he walked in, his heart rate spiking slightly at the thought of her in the shower. 

A memory of another shower and whispered promises in the night surfaced and he closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. He had kept all this at bay for the past year but they were coming back, hard and fast.

“Take a seat, I’ll be out in a minute,” she called through the open bedroom door.

Clint flopped down onto the grey L shaped sofa, wondering not for the first time if Tony had managed to get a deal as all the units had the same sofa. He rolled up the sleeves of his Henley and sighed, settling back against a huge fluffy cushion. He looked around the familiar room, having spent time here before. The only changes he could see where more photos on her shelf next to the television. He didn’t need enhanced eyesight to spot Darcy, Bucky and Sam, though he couldn’t see the one of him and Nat any more and frowned, wondering where it had gone.

“You wanna drink?”

Clint looked over to see Leigh standing at the end of the sofa.

“Beer, if you have one.” He replied as she walked into the kitchenette, switching the overhead light on.

“Here, drink it, say what you need to say and then you can go.” She said, handing him an opened bottle, taking a seat on the other side of the L shaped sofa from him, but close enough to press her knee against his.

“Come on Leigh, don’t be like that.” He took a mouthful of beer and set the bottle down on the cherry wood coffee table in front of him.

“Like what?,” she asked, “no don’t tell me, I don’t want to know but what you can tell me is why the fuck you kissed me back there? Why d’you do that Clint?” she asked, her face set and pale.

“Because I wanted to, because you were there.” He answered after a short pause.

“Because I was there? And you think that gives you the right to kiss me after all this fucking time? What if I’ve found someone else?” she countered, her eyes flashing angrily.

“Who?, Bucky? Cause I hate to say it sweetheart but he ain’t exactly jumping up to be around you.” He bit back.

There was short, sharp sound and he recoiled slightly from the slap.

“You absolute fucking asshole!, what the fuck would you know about me now? About my life here? You fucking left me Clint, you left me, you left Laura and your kids and you think you can just waltz back and pick up where we left off?”

“And what if I did want that? Do want that…” he sat forward to grab hold of her hand, his rough calloused fingertips stroking against her own callouses.

Leigh closed her eyes against the feelings blooming inside her; feelings she’d put away after she’d realised he was never coming back, only he had and he was here, with her. She opened her eyes to look at him, letting him see the pain and sorrow she’d kept hidden for so long.

Clint looked at her and swallowed. He’d caused so much pain; to her, to Nat, to Laura, to his kids, to everyone who had ever mattered to him. First the snap had taken Laura and the kids away and the darkness had taken hold of so much that he’d walked away, leaving his life behind, only to be given hope that he could get it all back, but at what cost? Nat: the person he’d loved the most and so he’d walked away again from all that was left, allowing the darkness to swallow him whole and now, here Leigh was giving him hope once more.

“You left me Clint. You walked away from me twice and I don’t know if I’ve got it in me for a third time. You destroyed me Clint. I loved you with every fibre of my being, you and Nat; you were my family and you left; left us and I understand that. Laura, the kids, you wanted someone to pay for it, but when Nat died and they came back, I thought…I thought I’d still have you but you walked away again. You didn’t even stay long enough to make sure I was ok, it’s like you forgot me.,” her voice broke and a sob escaped, “You and Nat, you were my family and when I had you both, I was unbreakable, there was nothing I couldn’t do, you were my everything, my whole world and you walked away. You left me and Nat, you hurt me; us, but we got through it, we had each other, we still had family, we made it work,” she paused to gather herself, “and then you came back and for a brief shining moment in time, everything was whole again, but then,” she openly sobbed, her voice cracking, tears running down her face, “Nat died and it was just you and me, and you fucking left me... You fucking walked away…you abandoned me!” Leigh hiccupped a sob, her voice high as she finally let out all the anger and sorrow and pain she’d shut away, her entire body shook as she crumpled in tears, barely feeling herself being lifted and placed in Clint’s lap, his strong, warm arms wrapped around her, soothing and shushing her pain away; holding her tight in his broken heart.

“You took away my family and left me alone.” She whispered, her tears drying on her cheeks as she lay, wrapped in the cocoon of his arms.

Clint sighed, kissing the top of her head. She’d always been the emotional centre of the three of them, balancing his silliness against Nat’s stoicism; the lynchpin that had kept the three of them together, his second family. He’d kept both families separate even though they knew each other and indeed had spent countless long, hot summers together, both Nat and Leigh acting as older sisters to his kids, and Laura turning a blind eye on the nights he didn’t come to bed. One open marriage and another polyamorous relationship. It had worked, until that fucking snap when the balance had tilted so out of kilter that he’d fucked up everything, turning into a man he didn’t recognise; a man he didn’t want to be but couldn’t find a way back from, so he’d walked away from all of them. Laura had been okay with the divorce, the love between them had been friendship, lightness and sunshine, she’d never been a part of the darkness, blood and shadow that he’d shared with Nat and Leigh and it had been easier for her to accept that it was over. With Nat gone, he was ashamed to realise he’d never given Leigh a second thought, telling himself over and over that she’d be the one of the three of them that would be strong enough to go it alone. A soft sob caught in his throat as he thought of how vulnerable she was right now, and how much of a coward he’d been to leave her, silent tears running down his lined face.

Leigh was cosy and warm in his arms and she lay in a cocoon, worn out and emotionally depleted, on the edge of sleep when she felt a drip running through her hair. She tilted her head to look at him. His eyes were closed and tears were running down his cheeks. She reached up to softly stroke his face, trying to wipe away the tears, sitting up in his embrace to press a soft kiss against his mouth, wanting to take away his pain, pressing her tongue against his bottom lip until he let her in.

Leigh was lost; lost in the heady scent of him, the sweet taste of his mouth and the feel of his calloused hands in hers as they pulled at each other’s clothing until they were skin on skin. Her heart rate spiked as he sucked the soft, tender skin of her neck, his familiar touch roaming her sweat slicked skin with harsh breaths and tender kisses as she gave herself up to him, gasping as she felt his fingers touch her, her heart aching at the rightness of it all. She wrapped her hand around him, feeling him twitch in her hand, grinning up at him and she gently moved the soft, hot skin, reaching out to grasp him pulling him as close to her as her own skin. She moaned as he slipped a roughened finger inside her, melting as the familiar strings of electricity played up and down her spine, coiling in her belly, moving her closer and closer to the abyss. She fell, easily and at ease, her mouth opening in a silent scream as she pulsed around his finger, his tongue pressing against her clit, driving her over the edge again and again, her limbs trembling with each exertion.

“Please, Clint, I need you…”

“Need me where babybird? He grinned as they slipped into old routines and familiarity.

She arched against him as another orgasm rocked her.

“I need you inside me, please Clint…” she breathed softly, looking up into his sparkling lust blown green eyes, her own lust blown ones hooded.

“Anything for you babybird.” He whispered in her ear, gently biting the lobe as he slowly slipped inside her.

Leigh’s head spun from a million different feelings as she felt him stretch her back into place. She was completely lost in the feeling of him wrapped around her; his kisses, his scent, his strength and sweat surrounded her, blocking out the entire world until it condensed, once more, to him in the centre. She arched her back, running her nails down his back, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he thrust into her, the sweet feeling of their essence rising until she was cresting, taking him with her as she fell over the edge, riding the wave down until they belonged again.


	10. Chapter 10

Leigh sat by herself in the conference room going over Sam’s updated report, making notes of her own. She had a plan but it needed to be handled delicately. The last two days had just been one fuck up after another and tensions were simmering. It had started with Bucky catching Clint kissing her in the kitchen the morning after she and Clint had spent the night together and it had gone downhill from there. She knew Bucky was hurt and angry at her behaviour and she was sad at the thought of what could have been with him, stopping before it had even started. She’d asked to speak with him to try and apologise for what had happened between them and how she hadn’t meant to lead him on and he’d made a few comments about sad women who were just cock teasers and how he’d had his share of them back in the day and how slutty they were and she’d just had to retort something about men who hid their sexuality but somehow still shared a bed, knowing that Bucky and Steve had shared a bed before Bucky had shipped off; not because they were hot for each other but because they could only afford a one room place, to which he’d called her Lolita and that he wouldn’t be surprised if she was the reason Clint got divorced, and before she knew it they were screaming at each other over everything and nothing, with Clint and Sam rushing in to separate them before they came to blows. Clint had warned Bucky away from her to which he’d retorted that that wouldn’t be a problem as she was shop soiled and he wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole. In the end Leigh had fled, going to seek refuge in Darcy’s office.

She’d told Darcy everything.

“Hey Darce, guess you heard huh?” Leigh said, walking into her overcrowded but comfy office and slumping down in the spare chair.

“About you and the Winter Soldier screaming at each other?, Er yeah, think they heard two states over as well, you wanna spill? You look awful.”

She sighed before snorting, “Ever get the feeling you should never have opened Pandora’s Box?”

“Yeah, all the fucking time,” Darcy smiled, “so spill…”

“I don’t know what you know about me, Clint and Nat.”

“Only that you were the top team in S.H.I.E.L.D with more hits than any other team and that you were so close that no one knew where one of you ended and another began, oh and you were fucking scary together, I can tell you that.”

“Yeah, well, we were that,” Leigh smiled, laughing at being thought of as scary, “for the five years from when I joined until the snap, but we were also family.”

“Well, yeah I can see that, you used to join him on his farm with Laura and the kids, like aunties, yeah?”

“Yes, and no. When I say family I mean Nat and I were Clint’s second family.” Leigh stared at her, trying to get her to see it without having to actually say it.

“What? I don’t…you don’t mean?” Darcy looked at her, her brown eyes wide behind her glasses, her mouth hanging open.

“We were in a polyamorous relationship, yes. Me, Clint and Nat.” Leigh admitted, sighing.

“Holy shitballs! That, I was not expecting…but he was married, yes? And you spent time with them.”

“Yes, Laura knew. They had an open marriage and she knew all about us, even allowed us to stay with him during the summer. Don’t know what they told the kids when he spent the night with me and Nat and not mom, but it wasn’t my business. There were clear lines and we didn’t get involved with his kids and Laura didn’t kill bad guys. Look, Clint, as he was back when I first met him and Nat, he was sunshine and fun and laughter and silliness,” Leigh smiled remembering the silly man she’d first met who’d ended up in a dumpster after he’d done a backflip to show off, not realising the lid was open, “but he was also darkness and blood and shadow and death and he needed people who understood both sides of him. At first it was just Nat and Laura didn’t know about her, I mean she knew of Nat and had met her a couple of times but either she didn’t know or she didn’t want to know. Anyway, I joined S.H.I.E.L.D and due to my skillset I was trained by Clint, and then I was sent on a mission with him and Nat, and we fitted so fucking well together that it was no longer the two of them but the three of us. It wasn’t sexual at first, not until he nearly blew our undercover op at a party and to stop him from drawing attention to the pair of us with loud giggles,” she laughed, biting her bottom lip at the memory of Clint giggling like a schoolgirl, “well, I just grabbed him, and by that I mean I groped him and kissed him full on in the middle of the dancefloor. We started sleeping together not long after that and then one day he told me about Nat and about Laura and the kids, Lila and Cooper, Nate didn’t arrive until a year or so later…”

“What and you just said yes?” Darcy asked in amazement.

“God no, at first I was like what the fuck Clint? You’ve already got two women you sleep with and now you want a third and then he explained having people around to combat the darkness and that we all need someone to care about and who cares about us. I know it sounds like he had his cake and ate it, but he was right. Having that intimacy with him and then Nat gave me peace, I knew I could say anything to either of them and they’d understand; they’d understand the nightmares, the fear of losing yourself to darkness and they’d both be there to help pull me through and I’d do the same for them. He then sat Laura down and explained it all to her. She was equally angry and horrified at first but then asked to meet us and could see how he was when we were all around him and so…”

“And so Clint Barton became a prophet and had three wives who catered to his every whim, ‘cause shit, Leigh, that’s what it sounds like.”

“Well it wasn’t, it wasn’t all about Clint, it was all three of us, we were equals, but when the snap happened, the balance went to shit and his darkness took over. I know, it sounds like I’m excusing his behaviour and I’m not, I’m really not, he knows what he did in leaving me but Darce,” she looked at her friend, seeing confusion and compassion on her face, “I love him.”

“And Bucky?”

“Bucky…Bucky is another life in another world…whatever was there or could have been there has gone.”

“So you’re back together with Clint?,” Darcy watched as Leigh nodded, “for real? I mean what happens when he goes back to his life in, well wherever he lives, or if you get Nat back, what then”

“Brooklyn and, yes, the irony is not lost on me, and Clint and possibly Nat, will move back in here with me, become part of the team again.”

“Has he said this?”

“No, but he will.” Leigh smiled, happily.

“I hope it works out for you and I’m happy for you.” Darcy murmured. She had an awful feeling this was going to all turn to shit. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Clint, but she didn’t trust Clint.

Leigh sighed and stretched. She’d been going over her notes for a couple of hours, trying new combinations of team members and it came down to the fact that she needed to have team members with a connection to Natasha, namely herself, Bucky and Clint. She needed coffee if she was going to have a snowballs hope in hell of getting through the rest of the day. She walked in to the kitchen to find both Clint and Bucky sat two stools apart at the kitchen counter, ignoring each other. They both looked up as she entered.

“Hey babybird, how’s my girl this morning?” Clint greeted her with a grin over the top of his Stark Pad.

Leigh sighed. She’d already asked Clint to be a little more professional outside of her…their quarters but he was still calling her pet names and expecting a kiss every time he saw her. He was being his old self and she loved it but she needed to be the boss as well.

“I’m fine Clint, same as I was when you saw me a couple of hours ago.” She smiled, side stepping the kitchen table to get to the coffee maker. She felt a shadow behind her and turned to find him standing right in front of her.

“I missed you.” He growled, his voice hot and low as he crowded her before pressing a kiss on her lips.

Leigh smiled and stepped out of the way, glancing over at Bucky who was staring at her, his face passive, his ice blue eyes flashing for a second before he turned back to his own Stark pad.

“Let me get my coffee Clint.” Leigh said, firmly as she reached for the pot, feeling hemmed in. For fucks sake she was the boss here.

Clint just grinned at her and stepped back to his seat, looking like the cat who’d had the cream.

Leigh poured herself a cup and walked over the kitchen counter clanging the cup down loudly.

“Right, we all know things have changed around here with Agent Barton stepping back in but, whilst we are in communal areas, we will act professionally towards each other. No passive aggressive stares,” she looked at Bucky, “no ignoring each other and no kissing,” she glanced at Clint who pouted, “What we do in our private quarters is our own personal business, what we do in the communal area affects everyone. Do you both understand?, “ she looked from one man to the next but silence, “Bucky, do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am.” He replied, his face blank.

“Clint?”

“Aww, come on babygirl I was just having fun.” He leant back on his stool and Bucky glanced at it, wondering if he could push it and make it look like an accident. He grinned to himself.

“Agent Barton, do I make myself understood.” Her temper snapped.

“Yes ma’am.” He drawled, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t know about you Buck, but she’s hot when she’s riled up.” Clint glanced over at the dark haired man.

Unfortunately Bucky was still grinning about the unfortunate stool accident and Leigh stared at him.

“Both of you, you will behave professionally or I will leave you behind in the rescue mission of Natasha Romanoff, do I make myself understood?” she snapped loudly at them.

They both looked at her sheepishly, sensing she was at the end of her tether.

“In the conference room in ten minutes. Do not be late!” she snapped again, turning on her heels and marching out.

“So fucking hot…” Clint grinned.

“Yeah…” Bucky mumbled to himself, unaware Clint had heard him.

Leigh sat and closed her eyes, pressing her thumbs hard against her temples, she could feel a migraine coming and it was them. Bucky Fucking Barnes and Clint Fucking Barton. Both of them were driving her insane. Bucky with his attitude and Clint…well just Clint in general. She opened her eyes as she heard a noise and looked up to see the pair of them walking in. She had already explained to Sam that he wouldn’t be a part of this mission due to the fact he wasn’t that close to Nat and she needed people who could get through to the redhead, if need be.

“Sit, please.” She asked, smiling as they did so, her smile twisting as Clint hung a leg over the edge of the chair, grinning at her.

She stared at him, both eyebrows raised until he shifted back into a semi normal position.

“I’ve asked you both here to talk about the mission. We will be doing an extinction and a possible hostile extraction. I say hostile as none of us know Natasha’s state of mind. Bucky, you were in the Red Room for a while, can you remember if there was anything there that could have an affect on a person’s mind.”

“You mean like the chair?” he asked, sitting forward in horror.

“Yes, like…the chair” she said, softly, her smile dropping.

“No,” he shook his head, “there’s nothing I know of apart from the chair, but that…that was destroyed when the red room was taken out, wasn’t it?” his voice shook slightly.

“Yes, from Nick Fury’s reports there were two chairs. One that was in the Red Room and the other…that was destroyed when the Triskelion fell.” She replied, her voice calm and measured as she smiled at him, glad when he smiled back.

“We have two distinct parts to this operation, the hit on Helmut Zemo and the extraction of Natasha Romanoff. You’ll see on the table I’ve put together a report on who will be responsible for what, Bucky, you get Zemo, Clint, you get Natasha. I will be covering you both.”

“Sam’s not coming?” Bucky asked, turning the page of the report.

Leigh glanced at Clint who was staring straight at him, his face showing his displeasure.

“No, I needed people on this mission who have a distinct connection to both Zemo and Natasha. I’ll get to the why’s as we go along. Now…”

“No.” Clint spoke.

“Clint?”

“No, you’re not coming.”

“I beg your pardon?” Leigh asked, not sure if she’d heard him correctly.

“No,” he sighed, looking at her and then Bucky, “Come on Buck, you gotta agree with me, this is a dangerous mission and Leigh could get hurt. I can’t have that, so no. If I go, then you stay.”

Leigh’s eyebrows raised and she turned to Bucky.

“And you agree with this Bucky?”

“No, I don’t,” he began in his soft voice, “I’ve seen you hit a target at 200 yards in a blizzard without flinching, Sam has too and, don’t take this personally,” he turned to Clint who was glaring at the both of them, “but out of the two of you, I know who’d I want covering my back.” He looked back to Leigh and smiled quickly.

“Right, then I’m out.” Clint made to get up.

“Ok, can you send Sam in?” She didn’t even look up from her report.

“Come on babybird, even you can see this has disaster written all over it. We should have at least five, maybe six of us going in, take the place by force, Steve would…”

“Steve left.” She bit out. “of the original Avengers, you’re the only one here. Steve left, Thor’s off world, Bruce has gone AWOL, Tony’s dead, and Natasha’s in fucking Moscow. Of the other Avengers and available personnel, Sam is too new for this kind of op, Wanda is in London and Rhodey works in Washington. We have three people, me, you and Bucky unless you’re suggesting I call T’Challa up or Spiderman? One of whom is a fucking King and other is not an assassin, oh and Carol Danvers? Who the fuck knows where she’s got too. So, any more stupid suggestions?” she spoke forcefully, standing her ground.

“You really are hot when you’re angry babe.” He grinned.

“Clint, you’re off this team, please leave and send in Sam.”

“What? Fucks sake…”

“If you can’t behave and treat me with respect my position deserves then you’re out. We’ve worked well together for over a year. What’s another mission?” she asked.

“Ok, I’ll behave.” He settled down in the chair and pulled the report over, cracking it open.

“Read the report, I need more coffee.” She retorted before walking out.


	11. Chapter 11

“Oh hey Sam, you ok? Please tell me you’re having a better day than I am? That at least one of this team is doing ok?” Leigh joked as she walked into the kitchen to grab more coffee.

“Hey LadyHawke, my favourite archer,” his eyes twinkled, “Things not going well?”

“Ever taught kindergarten?” she replied, tiredly.

“Ooof. That bad huh?” Sam grimaced, concerned.

“Like dealing with fucking children, or a teenager and a child at least, one of them is a moody little shit and the other is throwing his toys out of the pram,” She sighed, playing with end of her braid, “I’m sorry Sam, that was unprofessional of me to complain like that, but fucks sake, they’re driving me fucking insane…”

“You need coffee, here let me.” Sam picked up the pot and poured her a cup, turning to her, “Listen, Leigh, you want some advice?”

She shrugged; it couldn’t hurt to hear what he had to say.

“Step back, you have a personal relationship with both Bucky and Clint. You gotta step back and treat them as Nick used to treat the team. They know the risks involved in a mission, hell we all do but you gotta step back and treat them as soldiers, not friends and whatever…”

“When did you get so wise Sam?” she grinned, hearing what he’d said. She knew she was allowing her personal feeling for both men to get under her skin and Sam was right, she needed to step back and be the boss. She had a sudden flash of insight into why Steve returned to Peggy; he’d had enough of being the boss, of being the guy in charge, and he wanted his life back. She straightened her shoulders and, smiling at Sam, marched back out to the conference room.

It was silent when she walked back in, Clint was on his phone and Bucky was staring off into the distance. She looked straight ahead and, placing her mug on the table, she stood looking at both men.

“Am I interrupting your leisure time?” her voice rang out loud in the silent room.

Bucky looked up at her and sat up straight. He knew his behaviour had hurt her.

“No ma’am.” He replied, pulling his chair closer to the desk, his hand on the open report.

Clint put a finger up to stall her as he scrolled through his phone.

Bucky watched as Leigh walked round, took Clint’s phone out of his hand, switched it off and put it in her pocket. He smiled to himself. He’d watched over the past few days as the strong, passionate woman he’d come to know had been caught up with Clint.

“Hey, I was in the middle of a game!” he exclaimed in surprise.

“And now you’re not,” she replied, her face poker straight.

Clint looked at her, his eyebrows raised, a small grin on his face.

“Gentlemen, this mission will go ahead with or without you. If I feel, at any time that I cannot depend on you, I will bench you. I will not have either of you endanger this mission or the team, am I clear?,” she looked at both of them, waiting until they nodded in agreement, “Good. The team stays as it is. That is to say it will be the three of us, Sergeant Barnes will be tasked with the assassination Helmut Zemo and Agent Barton will be tasked with the extraction of Natasha Romanoff. What I expect from you both is a detailed plan of how you expect this to go down. I am not Fury, I am not Steve Rogers, I will take suggestions from both of you, and I will listen but if I feel the suggestions have no merit, or are just plan stupid,” she glared at Clint to find him actually listening to her, “then they will be discarded. I will be your backup on this, Sam will be the drop off and pick up, to be used in the field if, and only if, all hell breaks loose. The reason he was not assigned to this is he is MY backup. We are on our own in this Gentlemen, S.H.I.E.L.D is not involved. I have no wish for them to know about Natasha until she is either contained, or…”

“Or what? Eliminated?” Clint’s voice rose.

“That is always a possibility,” she held her hands up to placate him, “We have no intel on the state of her mind and if she attacks with no possibility of being contained then yes there is the chance one of us will need to take the kill shot. However,” her voice rose as Clint started grumbling, his face darkening, “We will do all we can to contain her and if need be, we use a disabling shot first. The kill shot is only to be employed if this containment fails and she is a danger to this team.”

“I’m not killing her and I can't believe you'd even ask me.” Clint stated, folding his arms across his chest, glaring at her.

“I'm not asking you, I'm asking Buck .” Leigh replied, looking at him before glancing at Bucky who nodded at her.

“Then why the fuck did you even bother to contact me, if all we’re going to do is kill her? or was it just a booty call huh?” Clint snarled at her, his hurt and anger bleeding through.

“Agent Barton, that was out of order. You were contacted because you were…are the closest person to Agent Romanoff. I…we needed you in order to get through to her… Clint.” She sighed, swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat, waiting for him to look at her, “I want her back too, just as much as you do, you know that. She’s my family too, but I have to look at this from all sides, and yes, taking the kill shot is one of those sides. I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t have that set up and allowed my team to be taken out because of my inaction.”

She looked at her watch. It was nearly 5pm.

“I want you both back here at 10 hundred hours tomorrow with your thoughts and suggestions on this plan. We will aim to be on our way at the end of this week, that’s four days from now. Bucky can you give your thoughts on anything you might have that would make our lives easier, you know, guard patrols, numbers of guards, that kind of thing?”

“Sure.” He replied, his eyes steady and focused.

“Ok, dismissed.” She watched as Clint stormed out of the room and sighed. That was a conversation she was not looking forward to.

“Leigh?”

She looked up to see Bucky standing beside her.

“Hey James.”

“I just wanted to see if you were ok. I’m sorry, my attitude…”

“It’s ok, it’s not you…”

“This the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ speech, doll?” he grinned.

Leigh snorted at his words, “No, I was going to say it’s not you I’m worried about. I know I can depend on you James, to be professional and to back me up…”

“And Clint?” he asked softly, his brow furrowed as he look at her tired face.

“I…I…,” she paused, looking up at him as he settled back against the table.

“I’m sorry, that’s your business…I just need to know that he’s going to have both our backs, you know? Cause right now, I feel safe with you but…” he trailed off, sighing.

“But not with him…listen Buck, I’ll talk to him, ok? and…,” she sighed heavily, “and if I feel he won’t have our backs I’ll bench him.”

Bucky nodded; his mouth pursed as he looked at her.

“Thanks doll.” He muttered.

“Doll huh?” she grinned.

“Oh, um…” he blushed slightly as he realised what he’d said.

“Look don’t worry, it’s just nice that we’re talking again.”

“Yeah, well, one of us has to be the adult, right? And I am the oldest, so…” he chuckled, grinning at her.

“Get out of here Sarge,” she giggled, reaching out to mock punch his arm, “Go on, get a coffee, and I’ll see you at dinner,” she paused as he made his way out of the room, “James?,” he turned to look at her, “Thank you.” She smiled as he ran off a quick salute, grinning at her.

“Ma’am.” He nodded before leaving her alone.

She picked up her mug and making sure all the console was turned off she left the room. She knew she needed to talk with Clint. She had to be sure that he would have their backs and would be fine with the plan. She knew the kill shot on Natasha had caught him unawares and shocked him but it was something that they all had to be aware of. If, and it was a big if, Natasha had turned and they were unable to contain her, then a kill shot might be necessary. After all, they still had no idea how she was alive, where she had come from and why she was in Russia. She sighed as she entered the kitchen, not for the first time wishing she had a way to contact Thor to talk to him about the soul stone and if he knew of any person who had ever come back from the dead before. She wondered about the soul stone itself as she rinsed out her mug. Steve had been the one to take it back. Had he done something when he’d returned it? She stopped dead as a thought hit her hard. 

Steve.

Why the fuck hadn’t she thought of that before? Steve. She could talk to Steve about what had happened on Vormir. She let out an exasperated sigh, berating herself. This Natasha situation and contacting Clint and all that had happened after had really thrown her off her game.

“Hey babybird.”

She turned at the sound of his soft, gruff voice to see Clint standing behind her, his hands in his pockets, a sheepish look on his face.

“I’m sorry…for what I said, insinuating you weren’t up to being part of the team. I know you’re good enough, hell, you’re probably a better shot than I am right now and I’m sorry for that and for being a total ass in general,” he sighed, looking at her a small smile on his face, “I’ve not been in a team for a long time, it’s just been me…not that I’ve been on any mission either but. It’s just taking some getting used to again,” He admitted, “forgive me?”

She sighed, picking up a tea towel to dry her mug.

“I’ll always forgive you Clint, you know that but I need to have you…,” she paused to gather her thoughts, catching him grin at her at her choice of words, “as I was saying, I need to have you battle ready and able to take orders from me, even if you disagree or think I’ve lost my mind. I can’t have you go rogue on us, not even to try to save Nat. If I make the kill shot call, I need to know you’ll trust my judgement. Can I trust you on this?”

He looked down at the floor, his shoulders slumping, before raising his head to look her in the eyes.

“Yes, you can trust me.” He smiled and opened his arms out for her to step into his hug.

She hugged him close, breathing in his familiar woodsy, smoky scent, relaxing for the first time that day as he wrapped his strong, warm, safe arms around her.

“How long till dinner?” he whispered, kissing the top of her head

“Oh, couple of hours? Why?” she looked up at him

“Let’s go to bed…” he growled, bending down to kiss her.

Leigh stretched out on the bed. She was worn out. Clint had kept her strung out on edge with his fingers and tongue for over an hour until she’d been allowed to fall and she was blissed out, sore and tired. She smiled as she heard him singing to himself in the shower. She would have joined him but the showers in the compound were too small to fit more than one person and she wasn’t up to having to explain to maintenance how she’d broken her shower stall. She could still feel the after shocks of him moving inside her and she shivered, aware of how easily and quickly she was falling back into old routines and habits with him, but not having the energy or wherewithal to really care. He was back with her, and that’s all that mattered. Soon they would have Natasha back and then her family would be complete again. She smiled, closing her eyes, imagining what it would be like to have them both back with her, to feel that safety and love again.

“What you grinning at?” Clint remarked, walking back into the bedroom buck naked, drying his fair hair with a towel.

~Just thinking~ 

She signed, knowing he took his hearing aids out to shower, opening her eyes to see him standing naked in front of her, she grinned at him, biting her bottom lip. She had forgotten just how impressive he was naked; strong, broad shoulders with heavily muscled arms and firm, tight pectoral muscles that led down to an impressive six pack and down further to heavy muscular thighs and toned calves. There was a stillness about him that she’d forgotten, his ability to not move for hours and hours in order to take the perfect shot, underlined by a shimmer of darkness that rippled under his skin. She reached over to grab his purple hearing aids from the bed side table and handed them to him, watching, fascinated as he deftly inserted them by touch alone.

“You ok babe?” he grinned, knowing she was checking him out, as he turned his back on her giving her an excellent view of his broad, muscular back and firm, biteable buttocks.

She bit back a groan, knowing that dinner was soon and they most definitely didn’t have time for anything, plus she really needed a shower, feeling his semen drying on her upper thighs.

“Yeah, just thinking…when we get Nat back, everything will be perfect again.” She murmured, pulling herself up off the bed, to slap his butt softly, her hand lingering for a moment before she went to take her shower.

Clint grinned as he pulled his clothes on. He’d been surprised to find his old quarters had not been touched and had found a whole load of his old clothing still hanging in the wardrobe. He zipped up his jeans and pulled on a sleeveless grey t shirt, settling down onto the edge of the bed to pull his socks and boots on. He could feel himself relaxing, being back at the compound, being surrounded by old friends and colleagues. It was strange and discomforting to feel his edge slipping away. He wasn’t sure he liked it.

“Hey guys, pizza’s in the oven, fries are on the side, salad’s in the fridge, grab your food and come join us.” Darcy called out as Leigh and Clint walked into the kitchen.

“Thanks Darce, sorry we’re late guys,” she smiled crossing over to the oven.

“Pizza?” she called to Clint who had settled on one of the kitchen stools, next to Sam.

“You really need to ask, babybird? Come on, it’s pizza.”

“Yeah, silly question,” she muttered, taking out a few slices of pepperoni for Clint and a couple of the cheese and tomato for herself, she ladled fries on to the plates and grabbed the salad and two bottles of beer from the fridge, taking his over to the table first before coming back for her own.

“Did your legs fall off, Clint?”

“Huh?” he turned to look at Darcy, questioning, as he picked up a piece of pizza.

“Rule number one in this kitchen? Get your own food, we don’t have maids.”

“It’s fine Darce, it’s ok,” Leigh smiled as she sat down to eat. She was sat next to Bucky.

“Hi James,” she greeted him as she settled on the stool, her leg pressed gently against his, “god, who bought these stools? They aren’t the most comfortable are they?,” she grinned, trying unsuccessfully to surreptitiously move the stool away from him.

“S’ok, better than the benches we had in France, your butt went numb after five minutes of sitting on those things, most of us would run in, grab our food and eat on our bunks. All except Stevie, who’d insist as Captain America, he had to set a good example, which was fine for him, I mean that guy had padding upon padding on his ass,” he laughed, causing Leigh to grin, “but the rest of us? Not so much.” He shook his head, smiling at the old memory.

“Speaking of Steve, Buck, can you contact him?” Leigh asked, turning to look at him, her leg pressing more firmly against his thigh.

“Yeah, sure, he lives not far from here, in fact I was going to go see him before the mission, you wanna come with me?” he asked, a small grin on his handsome face.

“Yeah, that would be perfect, only I was thinking this needs to be done tonight.” she replied, smiling.

“Yeah, sure, let me text him,” Bucky pulled out his mobile and rattled off a quick text.

“Why do you need to see Steve?” Clint asked, pulling apart a slice of pizza, popping a slice of pepperoni in his mouth.

“I had a thought earlier on. We still don’t know how or why Natasha has come back and I was wondering whether something had happened when Steve took the soul stone back to Vormir, and then it hit me, why not ask him? So I’m going to see if I can bring him in as a consultant on this mission.” She smiled at him, her face falling as she looked at his darkened expression.

“So why not ask me about Vormir?” he asked, his voice the calm before the storm.

“Clint…” She countered, feeling helpless for the first time in a year.

“No, tell me.”

The happy, chatty atmosphere darkened as Clint glared at Leigh.

“Clint.” She tried to inject reason.

“Leigh.” He stared at her, still picking apart the slice of pizza.

“Because you were there to take the stone and Steve was there to return it. There is a difference between taking and returning and I couldn’t see that your experience would have any bearing on her return.” She said, her calm voice hiding her frustration at his argumentative attitude.

“Just her death…” he spat between gritted teeth.

“Clint!…” she exclaimed, aghast, putting her fork down.

“Hey come on man, that was low and you know it, Leigh is doing what she sees fit. She’s the boss here. We do what she says, we follow her orders and she’s never led us wrong yet.” Bucky said, looking from Clint to Leigh.

“Yet…” Clint replied, popping a fry into his mouth.

“That’s enough. I asked you earlier if you would take orders from me and you agreed.” She said, irritably. His words and attitude getting under skin. Dimly she remembered this side of him, when the darkness took over.

“Yeah, well you go see Steve, say hi from me.” He picked up his plate and beer and walked out.

Taking a deep breath, Leigh plastered a bright smile on her face and turned to Bucky, “So if you could let me know if it’s ok, we can go and see Steve tonight?”

“Sorry guys.” She said softly, turning her attention back to her food, as the others began to talk around her. She had four days to get this mission ready. She had the distinct feeling everything was turning to shit.


	12. Chapter 12

Leigh shut the door to her quarters. Clint had not been inside when she’d returned to grab her leather jacket and bag. Quickly she’d grabbed her things, changing her footwear to her sturdy boots and made to join Bucky in the garage. She was lost in her thoughts as she walked down the gunmetal grey staircase towards the underground garage, hearing her footsteps echoing in the stairwells. She couldn’t wrap her head around Clint’s outburst at dinner. The last thing she thought he’d ever want to talk about was Vormir and what had happened. As far as she knew he’d not told a single soul about what had exactly happened or why, or how. It had only been later that the group had discovered the way to obtain the stone was a soul for a soul, but no one knew the details, and she couldn’t understand why her speaking with Steve about his experience would be such a problem for Clint.

Sighing, she pushed the door open and stepped into the garage, stopping dead with a laugh as she saw Bucky, waiting for her, leaning back on a motorbike, with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Bucky…when you said you’d give me a lift; I was expecting a car.” She stared at the bike as she got closer, taking in the chipped but polished navy blue paint work and the Harley Insignia. She gaped as she stared at it, before biting her bottom lip gently, a quizzical look in her eyes.

“Is that?...is that Steve’s old bike?” she asked, walking round the bike, marvelling at its power and strength.

Bucky’s eyes followed her as she moved round, reaching out to reverently stroke the paint work.

“Yup, he gave it to me and it’s not like he’s gonna be using it anymore, so, I thought I’d take you for a ride instead.” He paused, listening to his choice of words, his face flushing slightly as he caught her eye.

“Well thank you Bucky, I’ve never been on a Harley before, always wanted to ride one though, to open the throttle and let the speed take me wherever.” She grinned.

“You ride?” he queried, handing her a helmet.

“I do, but my bike is in storage.”

“What do you have?” he asked, intrigued. He’d not even known she rode, let alone that she actually owned a bike.

“It’s a Kawasaki Z800, Tony bought it for me for a big birthday a couple of years back. I think Nat told him I wanted one and I woke up one morning and it was outside with my name on.”

“Which birthday? You say it was a big one, which would be…30?”

“Yes, I’m 32.”

“I’m both 37 and 107. Stevie and I sat one day and worked out that all in all I’d spent 70 years in the ice, same as him.” Bucky admitted, smiling as she rammed the helmet on over her hair, doing up the strap and taking the small leather gloves he held out to her.

She flipped the visor, so she could see and talk to him.

“Does it bother you?”

“What? The age? Nah. I get to live, just…I get to live now.” He shrugged, smiling.

“No, I meant the cold. I know it bothered Steve; he couldn’t bear being cold. Tony built him an insulated heated suit for when they had to go to cold places, I was just wondering, cause you both seem to run hot.”

“You think I’m hot?” he chuckled, seeing a faint flush on her cheeks.

“Aww old man, you know you’re hot, don’t need me to tell you that.” She grinned back, a bit puzzled as to why he was flirting with her again, but glad they seemed to be on friendly terms again.

“Nah, as Elsa says, the cold don’t bother me.” He laughed at her face as she looked at him amazement.

“Are you quoting Disney to me? Are you telling me the Winter Soldier watches Disney films?”

“Yeah, loved them when I was little and after I came out of the ice again Wakanda and Shuri fixed my head, I watched as many as I could, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, which I loved,” he watched her laughing and smiling at him, “then there was Frozen, a masterpiece, then, well shit happened and I snapped, which I gotta tell ya, really puts the kibosh on watching films and catching up.”

“I…I…I’m speechless, Bucky Barnes, the one time Winter Soldier is a Disney fan.”

“So’s Stevie, I’ll have you know.”

“Oh that I knew, he knows the words to the songs too, The Little Mermaid is one of his favourites, used to catch him singing it every now and again. It was nice…to have a bit of normality…” she paused, looking at him.

Bucky cleared his throat in the short but awkward silence, “Shall we go? he’s waiting on us.”

“Can I ride it?” Leigh asked, the one question that had been burning in her since she spotted the bike.

Bucky tilted his head grinning at her, “I’ll ride us there, you ride us back.” his blue eyes sparkling.

“You’re on”, she stuck her hand out to seal the deal, grinning as she flipped down her visor, waiting for him to climb onto the bike before she followed suit, scooting up as close as she could to him, wrapping her arms around his firm, muscular waist.

“Ready for this doll?”

“Always.” She replied as he switched on the engine and thumbed the throttle, a loud, throaty roar filling the garage before they sped away into the encroaching night.

Leigh closed her eyes briefly as they sped down the small back roads that would take them from the Avengers Compound to Steve’s place. He had moved back to Brooklyn and currently lived in a Brownstone in Livingston Street, Brooklyn Heights. She thought it slightly ironic that Clint, having moved to Brooklyn to get away from everyone was living not that far from the ex Captain America (Retired). She could feel the power of the machine between her thighs and shivered as they sped towards the I-87 that would take them down towards Manhattan and then through to Brooklyn. She was enjoying the speed of the bike, the wind rushing past her and the feel and closeness of Bucky. She knew she still had feelings for him but she also knew she couldn’t do anything, except wait for them to fade.

Bucky could feel her arms wrapped around him and sighed deeply. He was in over his head the way he felt about her but she had made her choice when Clint had returned and he had to ignore the shiver than ran through him as she held onto him, pressed tight up against him, her thighs touching his.

Silent except for the throaty purr of the bike they sped down the empty roads, a chuckle leaving him as they passed through Paramus, a vision of skinny Steve and all his tries to get into the Army. You made it in the end though, huh punk?  
Bucky smiled, the wind whipping through his hair as they sped on through the night.

Leigh groaned as she allowed Bucky to help her off the bike, her thigh muscles were sore and she stood for a few moments stretching them the way she used to before Ballet. Bucky watched her, fascinated at the contortions she was getting into.

“Enjoying the view Sarge?” she quipped as he stared at her stretch her legs out, holding onto the bike and bringing the far leg out up to hip height before raising it a little further, feeling her thigh and calf muscles burn, before switching and stretching the other leg.

Bucky grinned at her as she turned to face him, her face flushed with the exertion.

“Yeah, you could dance with me, you’re flexible enough.” He said softly, chuckling as she blushed.

“Come on, let’s get inside before the punk decides we’re not coming and goes to bed.”

“Why? What time is it anyway?” she asked as they stepped up to the front door.

Bucky checked his watch, “A quarter past ten, why? You Cinderella all of a sudden?” he snorted as she glared at him.

“Does that make you my ugly sister?” she retorted, leaning over to mock punch his arm as the door opened to a bemused, grinning Steve.

“Hey old man, how are ya punk?”

“Honestly Buck, do you know what time it is? I could hear that bike a mile away and I bet you’ve woken all my neighbours.” Steve grumbled before pulling Bucky into a deep hug.

Leigh smiled at the pair of them as she stood on the step behind Bucky. She missed Steve, missed his wisdom, his chats, his air of no nonsense take charge that he’d exuded. She stepped out of Bucky’s shadow and smiled up at him.

“Leigh, it is so good to see you, come in, come in.” he reached out to wrap arm around her shoulder and led her inside leaving Bucky to shut the door behind them.

He led them into a large but cosy living area, old faded Persian rugs littered the hardwood floor, with lamps casting a soft amber glow. Leigh looked around at all the Knick knacks that dotted each available space, gasping when she turned to look at the long dark wood shelving unit that ran along one side of the room. Hundreds of photos filled every available space. Steve and Peggy, their children and grandchildren filled up one shelf and the rest was filled with photos of Bucky, the Howling Commandos and the Avengers. Every facet of Steve’s life was there. She’d never really understood why he hadn’t returned to his life stream instead of staying in this one and had asked Bucky if he knew. He’d told her and her heart had broken for him. There was too much to remind him of Peggy in the life stream, so he’d faked his death and had come home.

“Can I get you a drink?” Steve asked as Leigh and Bucky sat down on one of the two seater chintzy sofas that dotted the room.

“I’ll take a beer if you’ve got one.” Bucky replied, shrugging out of his jacket and settling back on the sofa, stretching his legs out onto the wooden coffee table in front of him, his metal arm stretched out across the back of the sofa, looking like he owned the joint.

“Feet off the table Bucky” Steve warned, sliding a small stool over to him, raising an eyebrow as Leigh snorted and elbowed him in the side.

“Busted…” she mock whispered, grinning up at Steve, who just looked as if his grandkids had been dropped off hyped up on sugar.

“Leigh, can I get you a drink?” Steve asked smiling at her.

“Oh, sure, tea would be good.”

“Since when do you drink tea?” Bucky turned to look at her.

“Since someone who makes it the British way offered to make me a drink, unlike the swill you made me that one time. You didn’t even steep the teabag, you just dunked it a couple of times. Just...no…James…no.” her mouth twisted as she thought of the taste of the tea Bucky had made her.

“Oh so you trust this punk huh? But not me?”

“I trust you with my life Buck, you know I do…just not with my tea.”

Steve laughed from the kitchen as he listened to two of them bickering with each other. He was honestly surprised that Bucky hadn’t made a move on her yet as she was just perfect for him, but, he reasoned, it wasn’t his business anymore. He’d lived his life and enjoyed every single moment of being with Peggy. Bucky had to live his life his way, he just hoped they sorted themselves out soon.

They continued to half heartedly bicker with each other as Steve brought the drinks in.

“Beer for you Bucky, sorry it’s all I have in at the moment, “ he said as he handed across a can of Brooklyn Lager. Bucky took the can and glared at it.

“Made by the Brooklyn Brewery, must be a new company cause I don’t remember them,” he cracked the top and took a sip, “hmmm, not bad, hey you remember Rheingold beer right? That brewery up in Bushwick?,” he looked at Steve seeing him nod, “Man, I used to get wasted on that stuff, Dottie too, course that was the only way I could get her kiss me,” he laughed as he relaxed with his best friend.

“Sorry, you got a girl drunk so she would kiss you?” Leigh turned to look at him.

“Well, kiss and other things…” he trailed off.

“You know that would be a sexual misdemeanour now? To get a woman drunk in order to take advantage?” Leigh smirked as he paled slightly.

“Uhuh…well back then it was the only way you could any action with having to marry someone.” He set the can down on the coffee table, watching bemused as Steve slid a coaster under it.

“Bet you’re glad you’re here now, now you don’t even need to buy drinks.” Leigh said slyly, smiling at Steve.

“yeah, well I wouldn’t know about that.” He mumbled, pulling up the sleeves of his Black Henley.

“Why, Bucky Barnes, are you telling me you’ve had no action since you came back?” she sniggered, making Steve grin.

Bucky took a deep breath and turned on the sofa, angling his knee so it pressed into the side of her leg, “Doll, I ain’t had the time, remember?,” he raised an eyebrow, his eyes flashing with mirth as he leaned closer to her, “Clint said you were riding me too hard.” He said, his voice low and dirty, grinning as a flush spread from her throat up to her cheeks.

“Yes, well, you look a guy who enjoys being ridden hard.” She quipped back, laughing as he choked on a swig of beer, “Can we get back to business before Bucky chokes to death?” she laughed.

He grinned at her as he wiped the beer from his face, turning to look at Steve who was looking him a smug grin on his face.

“Before we do, can I use your bathroom?” Leigh asked.

“Of course, up the stairs, first room in front of you.

“Thanks, I won’t be long.” She muttered, stepping over Bucky’s outstretched legs as he refused to move them.

“What is going on with you two? I’ve seen you flirting and that,” he motioned, “that was not flirting, that was the prelude to hot and heavy.” Steve said, his eyes twinkling, as Bucky grinned at him. He’d not seen his friend this relaxed and happy in quite some time.

“Would you believe me if I said nothing? Cause there’s nothing happening between us, thought there could be but her ex showed up a few days ago.”

“Her ex?” Steve looked puzzled.

“Barton.”

“Oh, but I thought…”

“What, punk?”

“Barton was with Nat.”

“Na uh,” Bucky shook his head, “No, she was with Barton, had been for a long time, before the snap and all that.”

"No, it was definitely Nat, I may have walked in on them once. Don’t know who was more shocked, me or Clint. Nat didn’t seem to care though, ” his smile softened as he thought of his own complicated relationship with the redhead, “I’m telling you Buck it was definitely Nat.” Steve chuckled at the memory as walking in to find Nat going down on a very naked splayed out Hawkeye. She’d winked at him, causing Clint to look behind him and tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wasn’t going to join them then could he shut the door behind him. He smiled to himself.

“What was definitely Nat? Did you tell him already?” Leigh stepped over Bucky’s legs and retook her place on the sofa.

“Huh? Tell him what?” Bucky replied, puzzled, as she shifted on the sofa getting comfy. She’d removed her jacket in the warmth of the house.

“About Nat?” Leigh said frowning at him.

“No, I haven’t had a chance, why?”

“Steve was saying it was definitely Nat and I thought you’d told him,” she shrugged, looking over at Steve, “so what was definitely Nat?” she asked, watching a slight flush hit his old face.

“Steve was saying he walked in on Nat giving Clint a blowjob.” Bucky said, expecting her to frown and was taken aback when she laughed.

“Oh god, I’d forgotten about that, they always did like to take risks,” she chuckled.

“But you were with Clint and that doesn’t bother you?” Bucky asked her, turning to face her again.

“Ok, I can see we’re not going to be able to get to business before I tell you, so here goes. Clint, Nat and I were in a partnership.”

“You mean like a team?” Bucky asked, his face uncertain.

“No, I mean like a polyamorous relationship. Me and Clint and Nat. We were his second family; Laura and the kids were his first family.

“Wait, whoa, hold on, you’re telling me that you, Clint and Nat all…”

“Had sex together? Were fully committed partners?,” she looked at Bucky as he stared at her wide eyed, his eyebrows creeping into his hairline, watching him as he nodded, “then yes, we did, we were and we loved…love each other. It’s complicated and complex and messy right now but yes that was us.”

“And Laura and the kids?” Steve questioned unsure of what he was trying to say.

“They were his sunshine family, Laura knew about us, it was an open marriage. We were his darkness family I guess you could say, the ones who could understand the darkness that takes you when you take a life, no matter if they deserve it or not, that little bit of your soul that blackens with each shot, the nightmares and the fears, we all understood the darkness, the death, the blood and we all supported each other. Him and Nat were together for a long time before I joined their team and it wasn’t sexual for me, at first, and then it was. We were together for a few years before the snap and for the time between Clint returning and Nat dying, and then he left a year ago, so now you both know.” She sat still and quiet in the silence of the room as Steve and Bucky both digested what she’d said.

“Fucking Barton,” Bucky began as Leigh looked at him sharply, “luckiest fucker in the whole fucking world…” he quipped, grinning at her, “I mean you AND Nat? lucky bastard…”

Leigh let out the breath she’d been holding and reached over to squeeze his hand, smiling at him.

“Thanks Buck, I was afraid you’d not want to be my friend if you knew.”

“Never doll, I’ll always care about you, no matter what, I mean who the hell else am I gonna flirt with? This punk?” he pointed at Steve with a big grin on his face, making her laugh, as he pulled her in for a hug, staring at Steve over the top of her head, frowning slightly as he did so.


	13. Chapter 13

“Before you ask me whatever it is you’d like to know, may I say that you are both welcome to stay here tonight. I have two spare rooms, one is always made up for when…if Bucky decides to visit,” Steve grinned at his friend, who snorted, “and it won’t take me long to do the other one. There’s no expectation, just I think this is going to take a while and I don’t like the idea of you both riding that bike upstate in the small hours.” Steve smiled before his face seemed to change into his old persona.

Leigh watched him become Captain America before her eyes, grinning to see her old friend again.

“Hey Cap.” She grinned, putting her teacup down on a coaster.

“So, I presume, from your earlier statement that this has something to do with Natasha?”

“Yes, so, about six weeks or so ago, we received a signal from the Raft, you remember that wonderful place,” she watched as his face sharpened, “and I sent Bucky and Sam to do a quick recon, which took about six weeks…” she turned to Bucky, “your turn.”

“Yeah, so Sam and I got to the Raft, horrible place, the electrics were shot, no oxygen as you went passed the fifth level, lots of bodies. Place was a hellhole, Azzano all over again, you know. So me and Sam found the signal, morse code, and there was a Stark Pad and a note that said play me. Sam, being Sam pressed play without checking it first and our old pal Helmut Zemo starts talking, you know I shoulda killed him the first time, anyway he gives us a dated newspaper, and a map with an address in Sofia. We were off comms, so we decided to go look. Got there, did some recon and when we got in we found a dead Hydra goon, decapitated and his sawn off dick in his hand.” He looked at Steve who shuddered at the thought, “yeah my thoughts exactly punk, but there was something about it that was bugging me. I knew I’d seen it before, the exact layout, the head, the dick, everything so I looked…”

“For the insignia?”

Leigh snapped her attention to Steve.

“You knew? About Bucky?” she asked.

“Doll, he knows everything about me and I mean everything.” Bucky grinned at her.

“Okay then, please continue.”

“As I was saying,” he reached out to nudge her gently with his metal elbow, “I found it, carved into the back of a desk drawer. It was Nat’s, the Black Widow sign. I knew it was her, I was the only one who’d ever seen the places she chose to carve them, so I knew…,” he sighed and Leigh reached over to squeeze his knee gently, “then Sam found another Stark Pad and pressed play, before I could warn him, we got the location of the next place, then I hustled him out before the timer on the Pad could set off the bomb wired into the door. We went out the same way we came in, through the window before the place went up. Two more cities, two more bodies, heads and dicks the same, two more maps and two more bombs. That brought us to Moscow where we found Zemo, in the fucking Red Room with Nat. I got a picture,” he fiddled with his phone and handed it over for Steve to take a look, his face paling as he looked at it, “so what do you think punk?”

“What do I think of what?” Steve asked softly as he traced Nat’s features on the phone with the tip of his finger.

“You think it’s her?”

“Looks like her, looks a lot like her, so yes. I’d say so.”

“Which brings us to how.” Leigh interjected.

“Yes, indeed.” Steve looked at her straight in the eyes, “my guess is you want to know what, if anything happened on Vormir when I returned the stone,” he sighed, getting up, “and for that we’re going to need some drinks, the alcoholic kind. Vormir is not a place I’d care to return to but I will, for you both.”

“We can’t get drunk punk, remember?” Bucky pouted as Steve withdrew a bottle of scotch and a small flagon from a small drinks cabinet, along with three glasses.

“You need help with that Cap?” Leigh called out as he looked puzzled as to how he was going to carry them all.

“Yes, please.”

“Buck, you heard the man, go help him.” She sniggered, laughing as Bucky grumbled and got up to help his friend.

“What is this?” Bucky asked, sniffing the amber liquid in his glass, turning to look at Leigh.

“Don’t ask me, mine’s just plain scotch.” She grinned, knowing what was in the glass, “just take a sip, see if you like it.”

Bucky did and almost gagged, “Jesus fuck, what is this?” he gulped as the taste hit the back of his throat.

“Asgardian mead, the closest that you and I can get to being absolutely wasted. Two glasses of this and you’ll be giggling under the table and you know I’ve seen you do that.” Steve laughed.

“Oh this I have to hear,” Leigh quipped looking at the pair of them, “but after.” She finished, taking a swig of the single malt, savouring the warmth as it went down.

“Right, so you want to know what happened when I got to Vormir?”

“Please.” She said quietly, feeling Bucky shifting next to her, his heavy thigh pressing against hers.

“Well, I got there in time to see Clint leave with the soul stone. I watched him leave, knowing what I was going to find once I’d gotten to the top of the hill. I remember climbing so slowly, as if I could make it last all day but too soon I was at the top and face to face with our old pal Johann Schmidt,” he glanced at Bucky’s surprised face, “Oh I never told you that did I?”

“No, you didn’t ya punk, was it really him, with the red face and all?”

“Yes, he was the keeper of the stone and very surprised to see me. I asked him if the stone could be used to bring anyone back and he told me only by sacrificing the thing you love the most in the world could you get the stone and that only love could bring a person back to you.”

“Did you see her?” Bucky rasped, his voice thickened with emotion and mead.

“I…I didn’t want to but I thought I owed her that much to respect her death, her sacrifice so I looked. She looked so peaceful, just lying down there and I was…I broke down, crying, telling her how much we loved her, how worthy she was, how missed she’d be, and then I gave the stone back to Schmidt and left.” He finished, taking a gulp of the mead, his features screwing up over the taste, as he settled back in his chair.

“Then I’m fucked if I know how,” Bucky sighed, taking another sip of the mead, smiling slightly as he felt the fire slip down, “so we still don’t know how she came back.” He turned to look at Leigh seeing a puzzled frown on her face.

“Leigh, you got any ideas on this?” Bucky asked, his brows furrowed.

“I do, but it’s so outrageous that…”

“Any more outrageous than Natasha being alive and in the Red Room?” Bucky quipped; his face flushed.

“No, I guess not,” she sighed, placing her scotch on the table in front of her, “So, Cap, you said that Schmidt told you that only love can bring people back. What did you think he meant by that?”

Steve took a moment to think, pausing to take a sip of the mead, “I don’t know, I think I thought, at the time he was making allusions to memory keeping people alive, carrying them in your heart, why?”

“Schmidt didn’t sound like the flowery type of poetry guy to me. I think he was being literal. That only love could bring people back. Think about it, the kind of people who have gone for the stone, ended up sacrificing their loved ones to give them the stone, why would they then sacrifice the stone to get back their loved one? Like a vicious cycle, you need to sacrifice to get the stone but sacrifice the stone infused with love to get the person back. Clint needed the stone more than he loved Natasha at that moment in time. You loved Natasha more than you needed the stone. Sexual love, platonic love, familial love, it’s all the same to the stone, and you sacrificed the stone, you gave up the stone and gave your love to Nat in what you said, and I think the stone heard you, and brought her back…,” she glanced at Bucky who was looking at her wide eyed, and at Steve who stared back, a thoughtful look on his face.

“I know, it’s outrageous, fantastic and doesn’t make any sense…” she trailed off, reaching for her scotch.

“No, you’re wrong, it’s the only thing that makes sense. In sacrificing a person infused with love you get the stone, so in sacrificing the stone infused with the same love, you get the person…ha!” he laughed, sitting up straight in his chair, “Schmidt told me that because that’s what he’d been taught, he didn’t know as he’d never seen it happen before…well I’ll be horn-dogged,” he said, causing Bucky to burst into giggles.

“Jeez Steve, your mother used to say that. God I’ve not heard that in fucking years.” He wiped a tear from his eye, chuckling.

“So, you brought her back…fuck…Steve, you brought her back, so why did she end up in Moscow?”

“Familiarity? It was a place she spent a lot of time in so maybe, being brought back, her, I don’t know, consciousness latched onto a familiar place?” Steve mused, rubbing the glass across his bottom lip, before taking another small sip.

“Oh Steve, one thing? A horn dog is probably not what you think it is, and possibly not what your mother thought either…”

“What is it then?”

“Think Bucky in the 40s chasing dames, he was a horn dog. A man with very strong sexual desires.” She laughed as Bucky glared at her.

“Well, that would explain the looks I used to get…,” Steve chuckled, “and yes, Buck was most definitely a horn dog.” He laughed.

“Hey, what is this? Pick on Bucky time?” he grumbled, downing the rest of the mead.

“Aww Buck, it’s…it’s just so easy…” Leigh laughed, nudging him.

“Like Bucky in the 40s.” Steve murmured, causing Leigh to burst into giggles.

“That’s it, you’re both off my Christmas card list.” He pouted, ruining it by grinning widely, as he relaxed back into the sofa.

Leigh followed his lead relaxing back, the top her head leaning back against his metal arm. She felt light, like a weight had been lifted. Somehow, through sheer dint of his love, Steve had managed to sacrifice the soul stone to bring back Natasha. It was really her. She sat back cradling her scotch, thinking of all the pain Clint, and everyone else had gone through when he’d returned back alone, her eyes filling with tears as a small sob broke through. She felt her glass being lifted from her hands and warm, strong arms being wrapped around her, lifting her onto a lap as she sobbed.

“Hey doll, it’s ok, we can get her, bring her home, it’ll be alright.” Bucky soothed her as she cried against his shoulder, the weight of everything lifting until she was wrung out, she clung to him, her hands buried in his black Henley, tears falling down her face.

He whispered to her, kissing the top of her head as she clung to her lifeline.

Neither of them noticed Steve slip out of the room to go and do up the second spare room.

Leigh lay back against Bucky’s chest; his fingers were playing in her hair and she closed her eyes, relaxing. It was nice to be taken care of without feeling the need to reciprocate. She felt warm and safe.

“You ok doll?” he murmured as Steve came back into the room.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Hey, I think I’d cry too if all that had happened to me.” He chuckled, feeling her start to move, not wanting her too.

“You had it worse Mr Cryo Freeze,” she sniffled, smiling as she wriggled off his lap, trying not to put her hands anywhere too intimate until she managed to sit back next to him, reaching over to take his metal hand in hers.

Bucky looked at their joined hands, puzzled.

“If you’re going to squeeze that one, you might hurt yourself.” He quipped softly; one eyebrow raised at her.

“Oh, can I just hold it?” she asked, her tear stained eyes smudged with make-up.

“Only if we can get completely wasted.” He chuckled, his eyes dancing with mirth.

“That I can do.” She sniffled, reaching over for her half full glass of scotch whilst Bucky held out his glass for Steve to top up with mead.

“I’m going to leave the mead here along with the scotch, as I’m going to bed, I’m an old man,” he grinned as Bucky snorted, “Your rooms are made up, Buck, yours is your usual one, Leigh, you’re next door to Bucky. Don’t worry about making noise. I’m in the attic and I can’t hear anything up there, so I’ll say good night and I’ll see you both in the morning. Will you want breakfast before you leave?” he asked, picking his glass up to take it out to the kitchen.

“Breakfast would be lovely, thank you Steve, for everything.” Leigh dropped Bucky’s hand and rushed over to hug the older man.

“Oh my darling, you are most welcome, I’m just glad I could help, and yes, I will think about coming to the compound as a consultant if I’m needed.”

“How?...”

“I would have asked the question, so I'm guessing you just forgot to ask me.”

“Thank you Steve,” she smiled, reaching up to press a kiss against his cheek, watching as he blushed slightly.

Leigh sat back down on the sofa and sighed. Bucky had refilled both their glasses and was leaning back against the sofa, his legs stretched out on the coffee table. She took a gulp of her scotch, wincing as it burned on the way down.

“Jesus fuck, that’s strong.” She gasped.

Bucky took the glass from her and sniffed it, “Sorry doll, that was mine, this is yours…thought it wasn’t doing much.”

“You little shit!,” she scowled as he grinned at her, “you did that on purpose didn’t you? Gave me Thor’s ‘this’ll fuck you up’ mead…shit I can feel it already,” she giggled, her face flushing. She was hot. So fucking hot. She yanked at the neck of her top trying to get some cool air across her chest and neck. She looked at Bucky who was staring at her a mile wide grin on his face.

“I’m sorry doll, just thought you might need to loosen up a bit.” He twisted his bottom lip wryly watching as she sat up straight and yanked her Henley off, slumping back as she did.

“Oh my god, that’s soooo much better,” she giggled, feeling cool air across the tops of her breasts as she sat in her bra.

“Shit, Leigh I’m sorry I didn’t realise it would do that to you,” he said, taking a large gulp of the mead himself, feeling the burn sweetly move down.

“S’ok, not like you haven’t seen them before.” She slurred, her eyes hooded, as she took another sip of her own drink.

“I remember...” He murmured, watching her chest rise with every breath.

“I like you James…” she began, watching him, a small smile on her face.

“I like you too doll.” He grinned back, his muscles relaxing.

“No…no…I mean I really like you…,” she sighed, “it’s just all so fucking complicated…I mean I love Clint; I do and yet there’s something about you and I can’t stay away from you. You’re funny and kind, and generous, and funny…oh I said that already and did I mention that you’re just sex on a stick. I mean, really, have you seen yourself lately, cause I have, and I could just lick you up.” She stared at him, her voice low and full of promise.

Bucky gulped at her words, feeling his cock twitch as he looked at her. He knew she was drunk; on this mead, damn she was wasted but he wanted her so badly. He dreamt of her hand on his cock, his finger inside her, his mouth sucking at her nipples.

“I want you Bucky…I know I shouldn’t…cause you don’t want me, but fuck…I want you so badly. I dream of your fingers, you know that? I dream of them and…” she gasped as his mouth covered hers, his tongue playing with hers. She whimpered as he kissed her, her eyes closing as she gave into what she felt for him. 

She pulled at his top, not wanting to break the kiss but having to as she yanked it off over his head. She pulled back; her eyes totally blown as she looked at him.

“Bed…now.” She whispered, pulling him up as she scrambled to her feet.

Bucky grasped her hand and led her slowly and quietly up the stairs to his room, gasping as she whirled on him as he closed the door, pressing him up against it, her tongue tracing patterns on his nipples, her hands clasping his waist before pulling at his belt.

“Fuck…” he whispered, his head ramming back against the door as she unzipped his jeans. Her hand snaked into his boxer briefs and wrapped around his hot, heavy cock, as she slowly got down on her knees.

He groaned as she licked the tip of him, before enveloping his cock in her hot mouth, her tongue dancing up the underside, flicking rapidly as she sucked him. He felt his eyes rolling in the back of his head. Damn he was fucking close and she’d only just touched him. Jesus what the fuck was in that mead?. He glanced down and moaned gutturally as he watched her head bob, his cock disappearing into her mouth, her tongue wrapped around the tip as she continued to suck. She pulled his jeans down to his knees, along with his briefs and dug her fingernails in his buttocks, pulling him closer to her, until she could take him all in, she briefly buried her nose in his pubic hair, breathing in his musky scent before she moved back off him, flicking her tongue slowly around the tip, smiling as she tasted his precum.

“Doll, doll, stop, stop, gonna cum, please…” a strangled moan begged her.

She let him go with a pop and smiled up at him.

“Mmm, you taste divine, do you know that?”

He reached down to pull her up, and pushed her, hopping across the room, desperately trying to rid himself of his jeans and briefs until he was naked. Leigh gasped as she looked at him standing in front of her. God he was such a divine specimen. She grinned as he came close to her, pushing her down onto the bed behind her.

“Now it’s your turn.” He muttered, snapping open her jeans and yanking them down her legs, until she was laid out in front of him in her bra and panties. He knelt, pulling her to the edge of the bed, lifting her legs to balance them on his shoulder as he bent forward and ran his tongue up the outside of her panties, feeling and smelling her arousal.

“You’re so wet…fuck.” He breathed, his hot breath causing her to squeal, as he lifted her hips effortlessly to drag her panties off.

“Mmm…that’s better.” He grinned, running his tongue up her, his fingers dancing around her core, circling gentle patterns, his tongue flickering over her clit as he took it in his mouth, sucking gently on the small nub.

“Shit…” she moaned, jumping as she felt his fingers push into her, the tips curled to stroke that spot inside her. She felt lightheaded and dizzy as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out, his mouth sucking her clit, his hot, wet tongue dancing circles on it.

He could feel her muscles start to flutter and knew she was close.

“Jesus fuck…James…” she breathed as he pushed another finger inside her, stretching her, grinding his hand against her.

“oh god, oh god…oh god, James…James…fuck! Bucky…gonna cum, feels sooo good, gonna cum, gonna cum…” she moaned, her voice quick and high as she felt her muscles start to clench around his fingers, her clit was alight with electricity, sharp and sweet as he sucked, pressing down on it with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh fuck!” she panted as her orgasm crashed over her, the intensity taking her by surprise as her back arched and she panted rapidly, small puffs of breath as he licked her through the aftershocks, his breath warm and right on her overheated skin.

“Bucky…James…please…” she begged, her voice shaky, her breathing rapid.

Bucky moved them both up the bed until he settled in between her thighs, his weight on his elbows as he kissed her languidly and heavily, hearing her moan as his tongue tasted her.

Slowly he pushed inside her, hearing her gasp and slowing down until she was ready.

“You ok doll?” he whispered, his short hair hanging down into his face, pressing soft kisses against her sweat darkened hairline.

“Oh god yes, so ready…please?” she begged softly, reaching up to kiss him.

He pushed through until he bottomed out. Fuck, she was tight around his cock. He moaned, feeling her wrap her legs around him, pulling him in until they were chest to chest.

“Bucky?,” she whispered looking directly into his lust blown blue eyes.

“Yeah doll?”

“Fuck me…hard.”

Bucky groaned at her words and pulling out he slammed back into her hard and fast, setting up a fast pace. Jesus fuck, she was tight and so fucking wet around him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, using him to lever herself up off the bed slightly, to give him a better angle, gasping loudly, her head tipping back, mouth open, as he hit the angle perfectly. She cried, fireworks beginning behind her eyes as an orgasm ravaged her body, her legs and arms trembling over and over as she hung onto him for dear life.

Bucky slammed into her, feeling the storm rising, his eyes rolling in their sockets as sweat dripped down and with one final thrust he released into her with a loud guttural moan.

Fuck…

He pulled out of her and slumped down on the bed, gasping and groaning as his sensitive cock twitched a little. Leigh smiled as she curled up around him, chuckling.

“What’s so funny doll?” he grinned turning his head to press a kiss on her lips.

“Didn’t even make it out of my bra.”

“Ugh,” he groaned, smiling, “I knew I missed something…”

Steve smiled in his bed as he heard Leigh laughing. Good for them. They deserved to be with someone who would always put the other first.


	14. Chapter 14

Leigh was warm and cosy. She could feel his arm slung over her waist and smiled, soft snores in her ear. She snuggled back to close the slight gap and felt his arm tighten around her, his body flush against hers. She grasped his hand and slipped back into sleep.

Bucky woke, his head was muzzy and his mouth felt awful, but all that paled into insignificance as he took stock of the person curled up against him, her soft curves pressed against him in all the right places. He yawned, hearing his jaw crack, his chest rose with a deep breath. He could get so used to this, to waking up wrapped around her. Flashes of the night before arose in his mind and he could feel himself tightening in response. She was so warm and soft and inviting and right. He didn’t want to move in case she woke and the little warm peaceful spell was broken but it seemed his dick had other things in mind as he found himself sleepily grinding against her thigh.

Leigh moaned softly in her sleep, feeling him grinding into her thigh, she exhaled deeply, a sleepy little sigh leaving her mouth as she raised her leg to allow him into her, wanting him; needing him.

Bucky slipped inside her heat, groaning, moving slowly, languidly, his sleep warmed skin flushed as she pressed back against him. Oh fuck, yes, he could definitely get used to this. He rocked against her, grunting as she hummed in approval, his fingers reaching down to slide against her clit, grinning indolently to himself as he caressed her clit, before he pressed a lazy wet kiss against her shoulder.

Leigh gasped, keeping her eyes closed in the warm cocoon. He felt so right, inside her, his fingers caressing her overheated skin. She could feel her belly tightening, the coil of electricity sleepily turning, quickening as he pressed his fingers down, his cock slipping slowly in and out. 

“James…” she breathed as she crested, tightening around him, her breathing rising, heart beating a little faster as he moved a little faster, his hand moving to her waist to pin her to him as he began to thrust, feeling his own orgasm rising until he groaned against her shoulder, slumping down, shuddering softly.

Leigh felt him slip out of her and she turned to face him, reaching up to pull him into a long, deep, wet kiss, feeling his stubble against her soft skin.

“Morning doll.” He smiled; his sleepy eyes slightly glassy.

“Morning Bucky,” she smiled back, as he rolled onto his back, groaning as the mornings exertions made their presence known.

She rolled over to lay, pressed against him, her hand playing idly with the join of his metal arm and the scarring. She lifted her head to press a soft kiss on each of the scars, letting her tongue taste the broken, fractured skin as it moved slowly across the join.

“Leigh?”

“Hmm?” she murmured, turning to look up at him.

“Are you licking my arm?” he chuckled, amused.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Wanted to see what it tasted like.” She replied to his grin.

“And what does it taste like, doll?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Like metal, but warm.” She snorted.

“Ok, glad we got that sorted out.” He hummed in amusement, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth as she grinned up at him.

“So…,” Bucky began, reaching down to grasp her small hand in his, “what…” he paused, not really sure how to say what he was thinking.

“What happens next?” she whispered, not looking at him, keeping her gaze on their joined hands, her fingers gently stroking the toughened skin of his fingers, desperate to feel his touch.

“Yeah…” Bucky finished, uncertainty bleeding through.

“Fuck, I don’t know.” She breathed out heavily.

“Do you wanna be with me? Or…”

She took a deep breath, releasing it heavily, turning her head to look at him, hearing his heart beating under her ear, “I do…god help me but I do want to be with you,” she sighed softly, staring into his beautiful blue eyes, seeing into his soul, “I could fall…I am falling so hard for you James, but…” she breathed, her throat constricting with the reality of their situation.

“Clint.” He sighed, gently squeezing her fingers.

“Yeah,” She whispered, sadly, “Clint…we have so much history together that…,” she sighed, her breath hitching, “Fuck!...why couldn’t this have happened before Clint came back? If it had then none of this would be happening, because I would be with you, but it doesn’t matter what happens does it?, someone is going to get hurt.”

“I’m sorry doll,” he wrapped her in his arms, hugging her close, “I’m sorry for running away…I thought you were hurting and in pain and I didn’t want to…”

“Bucky, I don’t have sex, or initiate sex with people just because I’m sad,” she raised an eyebrow up at him, “I do that with people I have feelings for…,” she pulled him down into a kiss, nipping at his full bottom lip, before pulling away to stare at him, a small smile on her face, “just so you know…” she grinned, before sighing heavily.

“What a fucking mess…,” she began, sitting up, feeling his eyes glancing at her breasts, “Buck? Eyes are up here.” she laughed softly as he blushed.

“But they’re so pretty, doll.” He grinned reaching out to softly stroke the underside of one.

“Bucky…” she began, dizzying feeling beginning to ripple under her skin.

“Sorry doll… but they’re so pretty…” he breathed a wide grin on his drowsy face.

“I’ll tell him.” She said, reaching over to pick her bra up from the bedside table and hurriedly putting it on.

“Clint?”

“No, Santa Claus…of course Clint. It’s only fair I tell him.”

“Does he know about the other time?” Bucky asked, frowning slightly, unsure.

“No, he wasn’t there when it happened, it’s not his business, but…”

“He’s here now and so this is his business…” Bucky finished, laying back against the pillow, closing his eyes with a groan.

“Buck?” she said, smiling down at him as he cracked open one eye.

“I need time to sort this out, I need to concentrate on the mission and not have it go tits up, but…I do want you, it’s just…” she trailed off.

“Complicated…I know.” He pressed a small kiss against her palm.

Leigh ate her breakfast mechanically, not really noticing what she was eating. She saw Steve’s amused, smug glances at her and Bucky, his glances at where Bucky’s hand sat on her thigh; seeing the small smiles Bucky gave her as he ate his breakfast, his solid thigh pressed against hers as they sat around the kitchen table. So many things were whirling around in her mind, the mission, Nat’s return, the soul stone, Clint and finally Bucky. She was completely torn, wishing she could rip herself in two. She had this deep soul connection with Clint but at the same time a sweet, sharp, almost heart wrenchingly needful connection to Bucky that filled her heart with fire. Wrenching her thoughts into a lock box in her mind she struggled to follow the conversation.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I was miles away…” she smiled, taking a sip of her coffee, feeling the brew taking the edge off the slight mead induced hangover.

“That’s ok, I’m sure you’re a little tired after yesterday.” Steve grinned, a sparkle in his clear blue eyes.

“You little fucker…” she exclaimed as his words hit her, causing his smile to widen, “You…you said you couldn’t hear anything…fucking super soldier hearing…” she blushed, her mouth dropping as she realised he had heard them the night before and quite possibly that morning.

Bucky chuckled at her reaction, reaching over to press a soft kiss against her temple.

“So, getting off the subject of your super soldier hearing and possible peeping tom tendencies,” she chuckled, letting out a shaky breath, as she’d never been that much of an exhibitionist, preferring to leave that to Nat and Clint, “what did I miss?”

“I was saying that I would like to drive up to the Compound today, if that’s ok with you?” Steve smiled, looking at her, noticing the fine lines around her eyes, the tiredness and worry that sat heavy on her, wishing he could take some of the burden from her.

“That would be just perfect Steve, you’re always welcome, I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long to issue the invite…I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be involved, but I’m so glad you are,” She admitted, letting out a breath, “ I could use another old man around…keep this one in line…” she grinned nudging Bucky with her shoulder.

“Didn’t think I was that old last night, did ya?” he muttered, a grin on his face.

“I’ve always liked vintage things,” she chuckled, laughing as he reached over to tickle her, “no…no…no…buck, stop…,” she squealed, wriggling to get away from him, the chair creaking under her, her breathing hitching as he attacked her mercilessly.  
She stared at him breathless seeing the wide grin on his face, knowing she’d just opened herself up to future tickles.

Bucky grinned widely at her, his heart bursting as she stared back at him, her eyes crinkled in laughter. She looked so carefree and utterly adorable, he just wanted to scoop her up, take her back to bed and stay there for days.

She sat still for a few minutes bringing her breathing back under control as Steve chuckled at the pair of them.

“When…,” she shivered, still feeling the after effects of being tickled, “when will you be coming up? Did you want to follow us, or come up later? And how long will you be staying for?” she asked, reaching out for her coffee, flinching as Bucky moved, wary of another tickle attack.

“Hey doll, I’m just getting my cup, that ok?” Bucky chuckled seeing her wary reaction.

“Ok, just…no more tickles, please Buck…fuck, you wouldn’t need to torture me to get info, just tickle me,” she laughed, “I haven’t reacted to a tickle that like in years, that was brutal, you absolute beast.” She blew out a breath, smiling.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, his eyes sparkling with a heavy emotion for her; something he couldn’t quite identify but he knew he was in deep.

“I thought I’d drive up later this afternoon, and stay until the mission is over, if that’s ok?”

“Of course, your old quarters are still waiting for you,” she smiled, lost in thought, “ we kept everyone’s quarters as they were…” she trailed off sadly, sighing as she felt Bucky’s arm pull her close to him, a soft kiss pressed against her temple.

“I always found that being the one in charge was both exhilarating and completely shit at the same time,” Steve said into the brief silence, “Commanding the team, working the missions and then having to deal with all the crap that came with it, all those different personalities, each of them an alpha in their own right.”

“I hear you.” She muttered, a small smile on her face.

“And you, you are the top alpha in that place, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, you hear me?” he finished, making her still at his words, “ as leader, you are the one the buck stops with,” he smiled, “ excuse the pun.”

“Pun excused,” she smiled, biting her bottom lip thoughtfully, “Thank you Steve.”

“Just remember, you do have people who will always cover your back. It’s a thankless task but from I’ve heard, here and there, you’re doing a good job.”

Leigh blew out a breath, blinking back an errant tear at his words.

“Yeah, and you get to ride the bike back…” Bucky chuckled.

Leigh sat up straight and looked at him smiling broadly, “I do, don’t I?” her eyes sparkled.

The ride back was exhilarating for Leigh, she could feel the immense power of the bike rumbling up through her body as they sped along the back roads, taking the long way round so she could let loose, Bucky’s arms around her, the feel of him pressed tightly against her back, making her feel for a short time that all was well with the world. She felt free and alive, her problems pushed to the back of her mind, hearing him laughing behind her as she screamed along with the speed; enjoying herself.

She quietened the closer they came to the compound, feeling Bucky tighten his grip on her, his head resting against her shoulder. They pulled to a halt outside the compound gates and she removed her helmet, handing it to Bucky to hold, looking up into the camera, knowing that F.R.I.D.A.Y would automatically allow them in.

Slowly she navigated the bike back into the underground garage, the silence overtaking them. She brought the bike to a stop, kicking out the kick stand, balancing the beast as she switched off the ignition. She waited for Bucky to get off before she did the same, turning to face him.

“I…” she began, stopping as he swept her into a deep, long kiss, pouring all his feelings and heart into it, holding her tightly to him, before slowly pulling away, resting his forehead against hers.

“Just wanted to let you know that no matter what happens I love you, and “ he grinned slowly, “I’m with you till the end of the line doll.” He pressed a soft kiss against her forehead and let her go.

“I’m going to forgive you for the cheesy line Buck as,” she sniffled, feeling tears rising, “I feel the same, but…”

“I know…hands off until…”

“At least until the mission is over, then I’ll have the time to sort this out.”

“Come on then doll,” he smiled sadly at her, “let’s go tell everyone what Steve said, let them know he’s coming up.”


	15. Chapter 15

Leigh opened the door to her quarters and dumped her jacket and small bag. She was tired and dirty from the ride and wanted a warm shower.

“How was Steve?”

She whirled to see Clint leaning up against the kitchen counter, a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Shit!,” she exclaimed, blowing out a breath, her beating rapidly, “you scared me…” she trailed off watching as he put his coffee down and walked towards her to press a soft kiss against her forehead. She gasped slightly as he kissed the same patch of skin Bucky had minutes earlier. She shivered, her soul responding to him.

“Missed you babybird.” He whispered, pressing small, soft kisses down her face and along her jawline, her skin prickling under the scruff of beard.

She whimpered slightly, her heart beating so rapidly in her chest she was lightheaded.

“Mmm, love the taste of you.” He murmured, making his way down her neck, settling on her shoulder.

Leigh closed her eyes against the rapid thoughts and emotions running through her.

Clint thread his fingers through her hair, cradling her head one handed as he laved his tongue along her collar bone.

“I saw you.” He muttered, pressing a series of small kisses and nips along the top of her chest.

“W..what?” she stammered, feeling the familiar feelings rising within her.

“You and Bucky, kissing, in the garage,” he nipped her skin tightly between his teeth, laving the reddened skin with his tongue, “heard you too. I can smell him on you.”

Leigh gasped and wrenched herself away from him, standing, her breath coming in sharp pants as she looked at him wild eyed.

“What?” she paled, staring at him.

“You got something to tell me babybird?” he whispered; his eyes furrowed.

Leigh let out a breath and walked over to the sofa. Clint stared at her for a second then picked up his coffee and followed.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen but…” she sighed, smiling sadly as he reached out to take her hands in his.

“Oh babybird, I could see there was something between you two when I got here. Nat was the same with Cap,” he looked at the surprise on her face, as she stared at him, her eyes wide, “Oh, you didn’t know that?,” he chuckled, “Yeah, she and Cap got hot and heavy a few times, she rode him like a bike.”

“When? Why?” Leigh asked, unable to take in what he was saying.

“Just before the Triskelion fell, when they were on the run. They fucked a fair few times…,” he grinned at her, “ as for why? She was a free agent babybird, as you are, as I am…”

Leigh stared at him in shock. She had definitely not been a free agent back then, not until Nat had died and Clint had disappeared and even then he’d been all she thought about. Until Bucky…a small whispered skittered across her mind.

“What are you saying Clint?” she whispered, her face falling.

“Us, the three of us, we were always free to fuck other people…,” he smiled at her, his smile fading as he saw her tears, “what? You thought we were exclusive?”

She nodded, her eyes filling with hurt tears.

“Oh my sweet babybird, no…we were always open.”

“Except me,” she whispered, tears falling, “How many?”

“What?” he asked, reaching out to brush a lock of her hair away from her face.

“How many did you sleep with?”

“How many did I fuck?,” he sat back blowing out a breath, “Fuck knows, babybird, I don’t know…I lost count to be honest…gave up keeping count after seventy…”

“Seventy?” she whispered, aghast, pulling her hands from his to stare at him, her heart breaking.

“Well more than that, probably pushing a hundred, maybe one twenty, I don’t know, they all blur into one after a while if I’m honest. Never stayed long enough to remember their faces. Don’t know how many Nat had, she never said, apart from Steve, course that was after he caught he blowing me in an office. She wanted to know what he’d be like to blow, so when the opportunity arose, she blew.” He sat back on the sofa, smiling, lost in the memory of Steve catching walking in on him getting blown by Nat, his naked body splayed out over a table.

“I can’t…I can’t believe this…what you’re saying is both you and Nat cheated on me time and time again, and I was totally in the dark…” she got up from the sofa, stumbling, her breathing uneven, “God you two had so much fun at my expense, did you laugh? Poor little babybird, thinks we’re in a committed relationship…I can’t…get out…get out Clint, I can’t look at you right now.” She whispered, her voice ragged and rough.

She watched as he got up and walked towards the door.

“I’m sorry babybird…”

“Don’t…don’t you dare call me that again.” She whispered, tears falling free.

She sank down on her sofa and sent a quick text.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes Leigh?”

“Please keep Clint Barton locked out of these quarters and allow Bucky Barnes entry.”

“Of course Leigh, shall I advise them of the changes to their access levels?”

“No, I’ll tell Bucky myself.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“You’re welcome Leigh.”

Bucky knocked on the door, surprised when it clicked open. He’d received Leigh’s text asking him to come to hers and he stepped through into her quarters. He’d never been inside but they were the same layout as his. He was surprised; as the boss lady she could have had the larger suites upstairs, where Tony and Steve had stayed.

“Hey doll?” he called out, walking round the corner to see her sat on her sofa.

Leigh looked up at him, her pain and tears evident on her face.

“Aww, hey doll, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned as he sat down next to her.

She sniffled, feeling fresh tears welling as he reached out to take her in his arms.

“Leigh? Doll? What’s happened? Was it Clint? What did he do?” he asked, his voice growling at the thought.

“It was all a lie…” she wailed into his chest.

“What was a lie doll?” he asked, puzzled.

“Us. Me, Clint and Nat…it was all a lie.”

“Doll…Leigh I don’t understand what you’re saying…” he held her away from him so he could see her face.

“Clint…he told me he’d seen us, kissing…in the garage…,”

“Oh…” he breathed out, “But weren’t you going to tell him anyway?” he brushed her hair away from her face, smiling at her.

“Yes and I tried to but…but he told me it didn’t matter as we’d never been exclusive…that…that we’d been in an open relationship,” her voice tightened as anger intruded, “ that he and Nat had slept with countless others. They lied to me. All this time, they were my family, I loved them, I supported them, I gave myself to them and they lied…they lied…and now I have nothing…” her voice fled as she slumped into his arms.

“It’s ok doll, I got you.” Bucky whispered, his own heart breaking for her.

Leigh sipped her tea, smiling as she looked over the rim at Bucky, “Not bad Soldier, not bad…did Steve give you tips?,” she laughed, smiling at him as he leaned against the mini fridge, waiting for the coffee to brew, “Speaking of which has he text you when he’s getting here?”

“Yeah, he did when you were showering. Said he’s aiming for about 5pm, so about an hour or so, why, you wanna go do something?” he smirked slightly.

“Ugh, I really should put the report together of what he told us, ready for the meeting tonight.”

“Hey doll, have a night off, it won’t kill you. Steve’s more likely to tell everyone in the kitchen over whatever we’re having tonight,” he trailed off looking at her.

“Chicken casserole.” She replied, sipping her tea.

“Ooh, with dumplings?”

“Yes, and carrots and potatoes.”

“Mmm, I love you…” he murmured, thinking of the food.

“You said that earlier…” she said, looking at him, remembering.

“Huh?”

“In the garage, you told me you loved me…I’m sorry my mind was on other things and I’ve only just remembered.” She stared at him, biting her bottom lip, as he grinned and came over to her.

He took the cup from her, placing it on the counter, reaching to bring her into a hug, his hands on her waist “Doll, I’ve been in love with you since you kicked my ass that day in training, you remember? You’d stepped up to the plate, taking charge of this place and…”

“And you were an ass…” she smiled.

“I was…but hey, come on. You’d spend weeks moping about…you know,” he shrugged as she smiled sadly, “then you stepped up and took charge, and I was like who the fuck is this? Who the fuck does she think she is?...”

“So you challenged me to a contest, guns, knife throwing and…” she smiled wryly up at him.

“And shooting an arrow…hell I didn’t know you’d been trained by fucking Hawkeye did I? you were just another S.H.I.E.L.D agent as far as I could see.”

“And I beat you fair and square at knife throwing and the arrows, but you did win with a gun.” She grinned, laughing, her eyes regaining some of her sparkle.

“Nah, fluke, you kicked my ass and I fell hard for you…just wish I’d…”

“Well you’re here now.” She said softly, reaching up to kiss him, his hands tightening on her waist as he pulled her flush with him.

“You wanna do something?” he murmured, watching as a blush spread across the top of her chest.

“Yes, but we don’t have time.” She replied, her eyes dancing.

“We got an hour doll…” he looked down at her, frowning, puzzled.

“Exactly, not enough time for what I have in mind for you.”

Bucky took a deep breath gulping as she laughed and squeezed his ass.

“Come for a walk with me Sarge?”

“Anything for my best girl.” He replied, a cocky little grin on his face.

“Are you ever going to stop the cheesy one liners?” she queried, grinning up at him.

“Not when they continue to work…” he laughed softly.

“Hmm, “ she arched an eyebrow, “I’ll let you know if they ever do.” She laughed as she brushed past him, smacking his ass on the way.

Leigh felt his fingers thread through hers as they walked through the grounds of the compound, past the sports ground and the hanger, where one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s quinjets was stored. It now belonged to the Avengers as no one had dared to ask for it back.   
There were a couple of smaller craft and a helicopter or two also stored in the hanger. Sometimes the enormity of what she was trying to run sat heavily on her and other days, such as this one, she felt light.

“You ok doll? Bit quiet there.”

“I’m ok Buck, I was just thinking how nice this is, to go for a simple walk and to just enjoy the day and the company. It doesn’t happen very often. In fact I can’t remember the last time I went for a walk around here that wasn’t work related, or the last time I did anything that wasn’t work related.”

“So I’m work then, huh?” he grinned.

“Oh you are definitely a piece of work, Barnes.” She grinned, leaning into him, laughing, reaching up to brush a stray leaf from his shoulder, feeling the muscles under her touch.

“You gonna be ok working with Barton on the mission?” he asked, suddenly as they continued to amble slowly around the grounds.

She slowed, turning to look at him. “I’ll have to be, I don’t have a choice, despite the lies and the betrayal, I was very close to Nat, second only to Clint, and possibly you. I don’t know how much time you spent with Nat.”

“I trained her.”

“What?”

“I was her teacher, defence and weapons. I taught her from the age of eight until she graduated at sixteen. Was the longest period of time I’ve been out of the cryo freeze in seventy years.”

“How…,” she paused getting her words in order, “How did that work? You told us you were,” she shuddered, thinking about it.

“Wiped?” he said softly, bending to kiss her forehead.

“Yeah, you said you were wiped often, cause you’d been out of the cryo for too long, before the Triskelion, so how…” she stopped looking chagrined with herself, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask about…”

“It’s ok doll, you can ask me anything you want and I’ll tell you if I'm not comfortable in answering, ok?” he said softly, looking at her, watching the consternation in her eyes.

“Did they hurt you James? In that place? Did they hurt you?” she asked, holding his hands tight, feeling the slight temperature difference in the metal hand.

He smiled down at her, moved by her concern. “Doesn’t matter what they did doll, it’s in the past.”

“But it does matter, I’m asking you to go back to a place that hurt you, that tortured you…”

“Ah doll, come here,” he said, sighing, pulling her into a tight hug, bending to kiss her deeply, feeling her arms wrap around his neck, his own wrapped round her waist.


	16. Chapter 16

Leigh could hear Darcy before she saw her as she and Bucky strolled into the kitchen for dinner. Steve had arrived and she’s shown him to his quarters so he could freshen up before dinner. Steve being Steve had preferred to take a stroll round, getting lost in his memories.

Steve and Darcy looked up from their conversation as Leigh and Bucky walked in. Darcy looked at their joined hands and raised an eyebrow, a small grin on her face. Clint glanced over at them, his face blank before he turned back to talk to Sam, who shot a grin at Bucky.

“We can go eat in your quarters, if you want doll?” he bent to whisper to her as they neared the others.

“Thanks Buck, but boss remember.” She smiled at him, gripping his hand a little tighter.

“Yes ma’am,” He chuckled, sniffing the air, “so where’s this chicken casserole you promised?”

“Casserole’s in the oven…” Darcy began

“Fries are on the side and salad’s in the fridge.” Steve finished for her, “I remember, Nat used to laugh at anyone who forgot how you’d set the food out, until we all started to ask just to piss her off.”

“Oh, she was pissed off with all of you over that, remember when she replaced the fries with fried parsnips? Oh my god, I thought I was going to have an aneurism, I laughed so hard at you all, the looks on your faces when you bit in.” Leigh laughed as the memory surfaced.

“Until you took pity on us all and cooked more fries. Personally I liked the parsnips.” he chuckled

“Then I shall have to cook you some whilst you’re here.” She grinned back at her old friend as Bucky set up two bowls and filled them with chicken casserole.

“Fries, doll?”

“No thanks, just the casserole. Thanks Buck.” She smiled, rolling her eyes seeing Darcy’s grin.

“Can you grab the beer?” Bucky asked as he ladled up the casserole and carried both plates over the kitchen counter pulling out two stools and taking one for himself.

Leigh plonked the bottles down and hopped up on the stool, “Thanks.” She said, her voice low, touched by the little gesture.

“Anytime doll,” he grinned, tucking into the casserole, his eyes closing in pure bliss as the taste hit his tongue.

“This…this is Stevie’s mom’s recipe…how?” he looked incredulous.

“Steve taught it to me, back during the blip.”

“And she makes it perfectly.” Steve commented taking a sip of tea.

“Damn, doll, I missed out on five years of this…” he chuckled, shovelling more food into his mouth.

“Yeah well, we all missed out during that time.” She said softly, laying her hand over his metal one.

A companionable silence settled as they ate, all lost in their own thoughts and memories.

“So, Clint, I understand we’re neighbours?”

“Say again Cap?” Clint said, turning to look at the older man.

“Bucky tells me you live in Brooklyn now, so do I. Brooklyn Heights, where are you?”

“Bed Stuy.” He answered, his answers short and clipped.

“Practically neighbours then.”

“Maybe we could go clubbing one night,” Clint suddenly cackled, “go on a grab a granny blind date.”

Steve chuckled at his answer, “well I would but I don’t think my Lady friend would care too much for that.”

“Hey punk, you gotta girlfriend?” Bucky looked over the table at Steve, his fork paused on the way to his mouth.

“No, I have a lady friend whom I meet up with twice a week for dinner. She’s a widow and we met through the local community centre.”

“Does she know who you are?” Bucky asked, thoroughly intrigued by this revelation as he grinned at his oldest and dearest friend.

“Of course, I’m Stephen Grant, I’m 85 and a widower, originally from Brooklyn, I moved to London with my wife and returned after she died.” There was a sadness in his blue eyes that Leigh wanted to hug away.

“So definitely not Steve Rogers, age 113 and still a punk…” Bucky chuckled.

“Oh, I’m him too, if you push hard enough.” Steve grinned back.

“You’ll always me Cap to me.” Darcy grinned, popping a carrot in her mouth.

“Thank you Darcy but that mantle belongs to Sam now.”

“You can have it back if you want though, damn shield is heavy…” Sam quipped from the other end of the counter, next to Clint.

“No, thank you, once was enough,” he chuckled, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“So Steve, did you want to gather in the conference room after dinner or just talk here? We normally spend time after dinner just chatting, you know, whatever’s best for you.” Leigh asked, looking across the counter at him.

“The conference room has those comfortable chairs doesn’t it?” Steve asked, his eyes twinkling.

“Ok, ok, I get it. I need to order new stools.”

“How about a new table and chairs?, a proper set?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, ok, I’ll look into it.”

“You need a PA.” Darcy said, looking across to her.

“A what?”

“Fury had Hill, who do you have?”

“I’ll think about it.” she replied, her shoulders tightening.

Bucky squeezed her thigh, “You’re doing a good job doll, but you shouldn’t be worrying about the kitchen, you got more important things to worry about,” he pressed a soft kiss against her temple, grinning as she rested her head against his shoulder for a moment, her glance catching Clint’s eye.

Clint watched as Leigh lay her head on Bucky’s shoulder, his knuckles whitening as he clenched his fist for a moment, his lips thinning.

Leigh closed her eyes and sighed, sitting up.

“You’re right, I’m the boss of the fucking Avengers, I should not be ordering kitchenware from IKEA. Darce, can you help me find someone to, well help me?”

“Course, I can start looking tomorrow.”

“This is when fucking S.H.I.E.L.D should step in but we all know they’re about as useful as a chocolate fireguard right now.” She spat, her annoyance evident, “I’m sorry guys, this mission is just getting to me.".

Bucky looked at her concerned, “You need a hot bath and a massage.” He whispered, causing her to laugh as he repeated the words she’d said to him a few days previously.

“you offering sarge?” she quipped

“I could be persuaded.” He grinned at her, his eyes sparkling at her chuckle.

“Thanks Buck,” she whispered, “For having my back.”

“Always, doll.”

“You ok there Steve? Can I get you a tea or beer?” Leigh called out as Steve sat down at the conference table.

“No thank you Leigh, I have water, any more tea and I’ll be up all night.”

“Tea keeps you awake punk?” Bucky scoffed.

“No but it does make me pee.” Steve quipped back, sending Bucky off into gales of laughter, “Just you wait Bucky, this will be you someday.” He grinned, as Bucky stared at him in horror.

Leigh snorted at Bucky’s face, as they waited for Sam and Clint to arrive. They had been caught up in a conversation and had said they’d be in as soon as.

Darcy had gone back to her lab as she was running tests on a new material for Sam’s wings and needed to check the reports.

Leigh stood up to address the room, making sure the room was locked down.

“Right, now that we’re all here, Steve has some news about his trip to Vormir and what we think happened with Natasha,” she glanced over at Clint seeing his face tighten then shut down, “so, over to you Steve, and thank you so much for coming in, Captain.” She smiled and retook her seat.

“Thank you Leigh for inviting me and for coming up with what I believe is the closest we can get to an actual answer.”

Clint glanced over at Leigh. She came up with the answer why Natasha had returned. Hmmm. He shrugged, turning his attention back to Steve.

“I got to Vormir to return the soul stone and watched as Clint departed.” He looked at the archer, who jerked in his seat, “it’s not a nice place is it?” he said softly, directing his words to Clint who just shook his head, his eyes darting around the room.  


“After I had reached the top I was confronted by someone I’d already met. Johann Schmidt, the Red Skull, both Bucky and I had fought him before, back when Buck was captured at Azzano and all that happened there to him at the hands of Schmidt’s second in command, Arnim Zola. The last time I saw Johann he and I were fighting over the tesseract in the plane I eventually crash landed in the ice in ’45 so you can imagine I was a little surprised to see him on the top of a mountain on another planet. I was even more surprised to find he was the keep of the soul stone, quite possibly as he was the most soulless person I have ever met, but that’s another story. I asked him about Natasha and he beckoned me to look. I asked him if the stone could be used to bring a person back and he said, and I apologise for misquoting, that the stone can only be gained by sacrificing that which you love the most and only love can bring a person back. At the time I didn’t think much of his words, but as you’ll see they were more important than even he knew.”

He paused to take a drink of water, coughing to clear his throat, before continuing.

“I knew I needed to look at Natasha, for her sake, to respect her sacrifice. I know she and Clint fought about who was going to go over and that Clint fell first with Natasha jumping after him. She managed to hook them both to the cliff face before she fell, Johann took great pleasure in telling me how she died and I feel that we ought to pay respects to Clint, before we carry on,” he raised his water bottle at the archer, who stared back, his face completely shuttered off.  


Leigh stiffened in her seat. Clint had jumped first? He’d never said a word about it. She looked over at him, her face paling, tears gathering, as he looked straight ahead, ignoring her. She felt Bucky’s arm around her shoulder and squeezed his hand in thanks.  


“I looked over the edge and she lay far below me, her limbs sprawled as if she was asleep. She always did hog the bed,” he chuckled, as Sam looked at him in surprise.

“You’re dark horse, Rogers.” He muttered, grinning.

“She looked peaceful and I broke…at this point I was still holding the stone but I didn’t care about it, I just cared that Nat was lying on the cold ground below me. I told her I loved her, how much we all loved her, how much was respected and how much we would all miss her and that I hoped that wherever she was, she was at peace. I then handed the stone back to that ghoul and left.”

He sighed, thinking of that time.

“It was Leigh who came up with as good an explanation that I can think of regarding the reappearance of Natasha. She asked me what I thought of what Johann had said about love, and I have to admit I hadn’t given it much thought, I suppose I thought he meant that you keep a person alive in your thoughts and memories, in your heart but she posited that as, in order to get the stone, you needed to sacrifice that which you loved the most, this meant that at that particular moment in time, you needed to want the stone more than you loved the sacrifice so in order to get the person you needed to want the person more than the stone, which in itself presented a dilemma, as those who wanted the stone would never sacrifice the stone to get back the person. But, and it got me thinking, had anyone ever returned the stone before me? I don’t believe they had, so what Johann had told me was the literal truth, that love of the person above the need for the stone would return the person.”

The room was quiet as they all listening to Steve.

“I also believe that the reason she appeared back in Moscow was purely down to the amount of time she had spent there in her formative years. We don’t know about the state of her consciousness at the time of her return and that’s the only explanation I can come up with for Moscow.”

Clint sat as still as stone as he listened to Steve; that in the moment that counted he had not wanted the stone more than he loved Nat but she had sacrificed herself anyway, for him and had fulfilled the stone’s requirements. He was so fucking proud of Leigh for figuring this out but his entire body and mind were numb. How could he have just left her? He would have given anything to have gotten her back and he should have been the one to take the stone back. Dam Steve for being the one to bring her back, it should have been him. He jerked out of his seat, needing get away.

“Leigh, open the door.” He growled, feeling his chest tighten, sweat running down his face. He needed air.

Leigh looked at his face and hurriedly unlocked the room, watching as he paced nervously outside it before wrenching the door open and running.

“Leigh? Is he...?” Steve began.

“Clint gets panic attacks. Not often but they can be bad, I’ll go and find him.” She sighed getting up from her seat.

“You sure you wanna do this doll, after what he said?” Bucky murmured his face full of concern for her.

“I’ll be fine Buck, s’not the first time I’ve had to do this for him. I’ll go get him, can you put a pot of coffee on?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, this made me cry to write it...

Leigh sighed as she exited the compound main building, looking at the bench he’d gone to the last time he’d had an attack but it was empty. The skies had darkened and she couldn’t see past the gravel of the driveway. She shivered as the cool night air wrapped around her. Fuck. Where was he?

“Hey doll, think you might need this.” She turned to see Bucky stood in the doorway holding her padded jacket and a torch.

“Thanks Buck, I thought he’d be sat here, smoking, like last time, but…”

“Want some help? This is a big place, what did Steve say it was? 100 acres, with a plunge pool and a viewing room? He could be anywhere.” Bucky said, handing over her jacket.

“No, he’s a hawk, he’ll go up high, where he can see everything, or hide in vents, which is probably how he saw us earlier in the garage.”

“He hides in vents?”

“Yeah, small enclosed spaces, or on high, that’s where I’ll…where we’ll find Clint.”

“OK, any ideas as to where to start.”

Leigh stopped, holding up a hand to Bucky. She could smell cigarette smoke. She sniffed, following it around the side of the building, looking around before she finally looked up to see boots hanging off the edge of the roof. She motioned for Bucky to be quiet as she pointed up at the roof. She signed at him, asking if he understood. His look of bewilderment gave her the answer. Great, another job she needed to do. She pointed at herself then motioned going up to the roof. Bucky just stared at her until she grabbed his arm and marched him back into the foyer.

“Some assassin you are…” she muttered as he looked at her, frowning.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, bemused.

“American Sign Language. Useful for when you need to be quiet. I take it you never needed it?”

“Lone assassin, no, never needed to speak to anyone…” he drawled.

“Right,” she sighed, huffing, “I was trying to tell you that I’m going to climb up the outside of the building to the roof, if you’ll go up the stairs inside to the roof door. That way, I’ll know he can’t escape.”

“Why didn’t you just say so, doll?” he smirked, enjoying rubbing her up the wrong way a little.

“You’re gonna pay for this later, Barnes, and I won’t be gentle.” She smirked back, seeing the twinkle in his eyes, “Now, go, be your quiet assassin self,” she yelped as he swatted her ass, chuckling to himself before setting off for the roof maintenance stairwell.

“God, you really do put the ass in assassin, Barnes…” she muttered, smiling to herself as she headed back outside, shivering as the cold air hit her.

She softly walked round to the access ladder on the side of the building and began to climb up, making a mental note to up her training as she softly panted through the exertion.

“Getting soft in your old age huh?,” Clint said, his soft, gruff voice carrying over the roof, “I could hear you coming a mile off.” He said quietly in the darkness, a cigarette dangling from his roughened fingers.

“Yes, well being boss these days doesn’t involved jumping from roof tops or scaling brick walls, “ she muttered as she quietly settled down next to him on the edge, “got a spare cigarette?” she asked keeping her gaze out to the night.

He passed her a cigarette and lighter and waited for her to light it up. She took a deep inhale of the acrid smoke, her mind sighing as the nicotine hit.

She sat quietly smoking, waiting in the dark still night.

“I left her. I fucking left her…” he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears, “ I was ready to die, you know? To die for her, for you, for Laura and the kids, and she fucking beat me to it. We fought over it; did you know that? We sat on the top of that fucking mountain arguing for hours who was gonna die for the other,” he sniffled, his voice low and desolate.

Leigh reached over and took his hand in hers, threading her fingers through his, letting him know she was there. Dimly, she heard the roof door open and Bucky step out onto the asphalt covering, his soft treads making a small sound.

“I was ready to die. I’d made my mind up. I was going to die to let her live, to give her a chance at another life, to give you your freedom and to let Laura be happy in the light. I knew you’d all get through it, get through me not being there, so I made the decision. Everything I’ve done, all the death, the darkness, nah, you’d have been alright without me, so I held her close, kissed her for the last time and jumped but she…she fucking followed me over. I’m not going to say I felt at peace as I fell, fuck that, I was so fucking terrified I wet myself,” he huffed without joy, “I fucking pissed my pants but it was ok, you know, I was gonna make things right, everything I’ve done, the lives I’ve taken, I was gonna make up for all the shit, and then she caught me… she fucking…” he sobbed openly and Leigh squeezed his hand tight, huddling closer to him.

“She’d taken my arrow, you know the one with the grappling hook, and she’d hooked it to the fucking cliff and attached the ring to my suit. All I could do was hang there, piss dripping down my fucking trousers, holding her arm for dear life as she dangled and in that moment I hated her so fucking much for what she was doing…” he trailed off, tears dripping down his worn, lined face, “I fucking hated her. She had to live. She was gonna move on and be happy and have a fucking life and you know what she did? She told me to live for you and Laura and my kids and then she begged…,” he paused to swallow round the lump in his throat, Leigh crying silent tears next to him as her heart broke for him, “She fucking begged me to let her go, her beautiful green eyes begging me to let her die. I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it, I loved her more than life and I couldn’t let her go so she pulled away and then she fell, fucking smiling up at me as she…and I watched her falling and falling until…” he sobbed loud, harsh, broken tears as Leigh took him into her arms and hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry babybird, I’m so sorry…I didn’t die.” The anguish was heavy.

“Oh Clint,” she cried, her heart openly breaking with his words, “Oh Hawk, I’m sorry too, sorry that you felt you needed to. All of us, the three of us, we’ve done horrible, terrible things, we all live in darkness Clint, you can’t take this on your shoulders alone,” she sniffled, her tears drying on her cheeks, “we’re all killers. Every single one of us, with the exception of Darcy, has killed. None of us are innocent anymore. We lost our innocence a long time ago, and Nat would hate it if she knew how much you blame yourself,” she pressed a soft kiss against his messy fair hair, ”I don’t blame you for any of this Clint. I don’t, none of it, I can’t…” she whispered, as he cried against her, “I love you too much to blame you. Nat…Nat did what she did cause she’s Nat. No one tells Nat not to do something, you know that…so please, I’m begging you now, to live. Live for her. We’ll get her back for you, I promise you this with everything I have…” she trailed off, feeling Clint trembling in her arms as Bucky crept closer, a look of sadness on his face.

Leigh looked up at Bucky and smiled sadly. They were all such broken, damaged people who had lived with darkness for so long it had become second nature.

Clint sniffled, huffing heavily as he cleared his throat, running his hands over his face with a groan, and through his messy hair. He pulled back from Leighs embrace and smiled softly, his shattered heart viscerally open.

“And you,” he turned his head to Bucky, “you take care of my babybird; you love her, you respect her and you treat her right, or I’ll put a fucking arrow through your eye socket, you got that?” he said gruffly, getting up to face the dark haired man.

Bucky could only nod, standing back as Clint walked stiffly past him towards the stairwell.

“You ok doll?” he asked reaching down to help her up, pulling her into a tight hug as she trembled in his arms.

“No…”

“I heard…shit…” he murmured, feeling her trembling against him. “come on doll, let’s get back in the warm.”

“Can you…just hold me, just a little bit longer?” she whispered, sniffling, needing his embrace, his presence.

“Course doll, whatever you need.” He murmured, pressing a soft kiss on the top of her head as she cried for Clint.

Leigh lay, curled up around Bucky’s warm body, her head resting on his chest, his strong arms wrapping her tightly to him. She was worn out and tired and she hurt. Her heart hurt, for Clint, for Nat and for all of them. To be surrounded by so much darkness that you felt you didn’t deserve to live. In some way she was glad that Steve had gotten out when he did; had gone back to Peggy and lived his life the way he wanted. He still had so much light in him and she was happy that at least one of them had lived a good life. She wondered, lying there in the quiet darkness how many of the others felt like Clint did.

“Buck?” she whispered in the silence, feeling his chest rise under her with every breath.

“Yeah doll?” he replied, his voice sleepy and warm.

“Have you…have you ever felt like that?”

He sighed deeply, knowing exactly what she was talking about, he shuffled, until she moved off him allowing him to turn onto his side. He looked at her in the darkness, reaching out to cradle her face.

“Yeah…I have…when the Triskelion fell, when I fought with Steve, I was him, I was under orders, nothing else mattered but the mission and then Steve, that little fucker, he…I had him pinned down, on the helicarrier, and he stopped fighting me, told me I was his friend and that if I had to finish the mission then so be it, that he was with me till the end of the line…” he heard her soft intake of breath at his words and smiled, “ and something broke within me, the orders, they glitched I guess, is the best way to put it,” he chuckled softly, “ Shuri told me I was like a computer program, only able to work within the parameters I’d been given and Steve’s words were like a virus that interrupted the parameters and broke the system down, until the only thing left was me,” he felt her hand reach out the stroke his face and he pressed a soft kiss against her palm, “only I had no idea who ‘me’ was. I was lost, no idea what to do, or where to go, all the horror of what I’d done, who I’d been came back, well they were always there but as him, I took no notice, but as me…I was drowning…I understand where Clint is coming from. For a long time I felt I had no right to live, no right to be happy, or have a life or any of those things that ordinary people get, you know?,” he heard her sniffling, his thumb reaching down to wipe her tears away, “but then Steve turned up in Bucharest and well, you know the rest, Shuri removed my programming and I slowly regained a sense of me again. I’m not the same man I was before, back then, I know I’m different but, I’d like to think I’m ok, you know? That I’ve made up somewhat for what I did.”

“Oh James…” she whispered softly in the stillness.

“Clint hasn’t got to that part yet, he’s still in the drowning stage, but he’ll get there. We just gotta help him keep his head above water.” He smiled in the darkness, thankful to whatever gods were out there that he’d been given the chance of a second life, of happiness. Knowing that most of that was down to the woman lying next to him.

“We need to get Nat.” she whispered, pulling him close to her.

“We will…” he whispered as his mouth found hers.

Leigh shivered in the coolness of the bedroom as he trailed his fingertips up her bare arms, whimpering as he pulled the strappy gown off her shoulder, his hot, wet mouth latching on a nipple, gently sucking the sensitive nub, his tongue swirling around her heated skin. She rolled onto her back to give him access to the whole of her, sighing softly as she felt the other strap being slowly pulled down her arm, shivering as the material brushed against her, until she was bare before him. Slowly she reached for his briefs.

“Uhuh doll, this is for you,” he murmured, grinning in the dark as he made his way down, nipping, biting, sucking her soft skin, chuckling as he felt her stomach muscles clench under his touch.

Leigh closed her eyes as she felt him sucking the soft, tender skin on her inner thigh, his fingers trailing through her pubic hair. She shuddered as he softly circled the sensitive nerve endings, ghosting but never touching, his fingertips gently exploring, pulling her legs until she was splayed out for him to feast on. She jumped, a soft moan caught in her throat as his wet tongue licked her, the tip pressing down on her clit as he gently pushed two fingers inside her, groaning at her wetness.

“So fucking wet doll…” he groaned, dipping his tongue to taste her, pushing inside to get as much as he could, bringing his fingers out to suck them dry.

Leigh arched as he pressed his fingertips down on her clit, making circular pattern around it, feeling the nub swell and harden under his touch. Gently he sucked and licked at her like a starving man at a feast. He felt his cock pressing tightly against his briefs, ignoring the slight pain as he slowly drew her out to the edge before she fell hard; her moans loud in the stillness of the night as she tumbled off the edge, falling, falling to find Bucky waiting to catch her. She drew a shuddering breath, a soft sob catching in her throat, tears rolling down to the pillow as she trembled, safe in his embrace.

Bucky ripped off his briefs, groaning as the material caught his sensitive skin. He moved up her body and slowly entered her, sighing as he was surrounded by her warmth and love. He was home, safe and secure in her arms, moving gently into her, wanting her to feel how much he loved her, how safe he felt with her. She shuddered violently under him, her breath coming in short pants as he upped the pace, drawing his cock in and out, feeling her muscles fluttering and clenching around him until all he could feel was peace as he fell into the abyss.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam stood in the kitchen, sipping his first coffee of the day. He was aware of a dark undercurrent running through the team as they got ready for the mission but no one was talking about it, they just went about their business but he caught the glances the three of them would give each other, the small smiles and the soft touches as they danced around each other. He respected that something had happened to Barton but he really needed to know if this was going to affect the mission; after all he was the one tasked with drop off and extraction and he needed to be sure that whatever was going on wasn’t going to result in disaster; there was too much riding on this and a high chance of disaster as it was to add more fuel to the fire. He was still staring into the distance, lost in his thoughts as Steve entered, drawn by the smell of the fresh coffee.

“Good morning Sam, how are you?” Steve greeted him as he walked over to grab a cup from the clean dishwasher.

“Morning Cap, I’m ok, yeah…but…listen you know how you always said we needed to talk more, to be out in the open with each other?”

“I do, Sam.” Steve replied with a smile.

“So, I gotta say, I’m a bit worried about…”

“About Clint, Leigh and Bucky?”

“Yeah man, I mean if they ain’t sliding together right, then…”

“I can’t tell you exactly what went on, one, because I don’t exactly know, Bucky wouldn’t tell me, and two, because what I think happened isn’t my tale to tell, but I will tell you that I trust them. I trust them to be professional and to have each other’s backs. I trust them with my life. Will that help settle you?” Steve asked, a gentle smile on his face as he took a sip of coffee.

Sam sighed, his shoulders relaxing, “Yeah, thanks man, it does…but if they kill me, I’m coming back to haunt your ass” he laughed.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you Sam, it’s why I gave you the shield.” Steve chuckled as they both headed over to grab some breakfast.

Sam’s laughter boomed out into the corridor, making Leigh smile as she, Bucky and Clint headed in for their own breakfast.

Steve raised an eyebrow as the team walked in. Leigh was holding Bucky’s hand, Clint’s hand resting on her shoulder as they moved as one, before splitting to grab their drinks and food. Not a word was said between them as they danced around, grabbing cups and plates, loading food, pouring coffee, around and over each other; each hyperaware of the other’s movements, their choreography perfect. He watched in amazement as Clint tossed an unopened bottle of creamer at Bucky, Leigh ducking as it sailed over her head before Bucky caught it with his metal hand, all without looking at each other. Whatever had happened up on the roof had changed them, brought them together as one; a cohesive tight group and in that moment Steve knew they would do everything they could to bring Natasha back.

They sat down at the kitchen counter, each of them relaxing as they tucked in to the hot food. Steve raised an eyebrow, grinning at Bucky who just nodded, grinning back.

Sam leaned over to whisper to him, “I take it back, that…that was cool.”

“Take what back Sam?” Leigh asked, chewing on a rasher of bacon.

“I forgot, you got super soldier hearing too.”

“All three of us have, enhanced eyesight as well.” She quipped, her mouth turning up on one side.

“Am I the only normal person here?” he grinned.

“Define ‘normal’.” Bucky smirked, taking a gulp of his coffee, his grin wide, hearing Clint snort softly on the other side of Leigh.

“So, what are you taking back Sam?” Leigh pressed.

“Shit…,” he grimaced, knowing she wouldn’t let it drop, “ok, well, you have to admit that what’s been going on here the past few days between the three of you hasn’t exactly been normal behaviour, and then Clint here runs off after the meeting two nights ago and you two disappear after him and now, to see you, it’s like you’ve been a unit for years. I mean, I gotta say I was a bit worried for this mission at first, you know wondering if y’all were all gonna kill each other, or worse, me, but seeing you this morning, I take it back. Whatever happened it’s made you tighter knit and that’s made me feel better about this.”

Leigh went to reply but Clint spoke up.

“Not gonna lie, I was in a dark place…hell, I think I still am, but these two, they dragged me back out.”

“It’s what family does.” Leigh said softly, smiling at him, feeling Bucky kiss the top of her head.

“Yeah, family.” Clint smiled, the first proper smile she’d seen on him since he’d arrived.

“So are you all ready for tomorrow?,” Steve asked,” you wanna tell us all the plan?” he watched as all three darted quick glances at each other before Leigh began.

“Of course, the initial plan is that we’ll leave here at oh seven hundred tomorrow, Clint will be flying us out , the flight should take approximately 3 hours and the intel we have suggests we land in a clearing just outside of Lesnoye, in the Pushkinsky District of Moscow Oblast. We will be on stealth mode the whole way. Once landed, Sam will stay with the quinjet as back up if we need it…if I need him, as I will be back up for these two. Stage one, recon. As Bucky and I speak Russian,” she glanced at Clint’s puzzled look, “You were gone and I had a lot of time with Nat during the blip so she taught me,” she smiled at him softly, her voice neutral, “as we speak Russian we will make our way into the town as tourists, have lunch, mill around, and head to the museum. The place where she is, is also a museum, the Alexander Pushkin Museum, so, we’ll go in, look around, and come back to the quinjet. Stage two, the three of us, that night, will do further recon before going in if it’s safe to. We do what is necessary and who ever gets the kill shot on Zemo takes it, no quibbling,” she glanced at Bucky and Clint who both nodded in agreement, “ we have all put our personal attachments aside for this, as we’ve had to. Rule is, whoever gets the kill shot you damn well take it, even if you have to go through one of us to do so in order to incapacitate him first…”

“I did shoot through Nat in Odessa so I guess I can shoot Clint…” Bucky drawled, deadpan, causing the older man to flip him the finger, a smirk on his face as Leigh snorted.

“As I was saying, our morbid humour aside, we go in, take Nat, kill Zemo and leave. If Nat resists, we incapacitate her, we do not have a kill order on Natasha Romanoff,” She paused as she felt Clint squeeze her shoulder, reaching up to put her hand on his, resting her head against their joined hands for a moment, “The most important part of this is Nat, if we have to leave Zemo, then so be it. She is our mission, Zemo is a bonus.” She paused with a soft sigh, “I was wrong…before, when I said we might need to take her out if she became a problem. She’s our family.” She turned to look at Clint, smiling softly at his drawn and worried face.

“Family means no one gets left behind.” Bucky said from the other side.

Leigh stilled, a wide grin beginning on her face as she turned to look at him in amazement, staring at his smirking face.

“Dude, did you just quote fucking Disney at us?” Sam barked with laughter.

“Uhuh, Ohana…ooh which reminds me, when we get back can we watch Moana?,” he looked at her, “haven’t seen that one yet.” He grinned, picking up his cup.

Leigh could feel the giggles bubbling out of her as she stared at him. The one time Winter Soldier and all round bad ass Disney fiend, Bucky Barnes. She laid her head down on the counter and howled with laughter until she cried, feeling some of her stress and worry lifted away.

After they had finished with their breakfast and Leigh had stopped giggling every time she looked at Bucky, she turned to Clint.

“I would like all three of us to do a training session this afternoon, just so we can catch up on new skills, or…”

“Work on any rusty ones?” he smirked, as she smiled at him.

“Exactly. I can’t remember the last time I threw a knife.”

“Yeah, sounds good doll, I need to do some warm up exercises, try out that new punching bag Darce had made; meant to be me proof but I haven’t had a chance to try it out yet.”

“Yeah I could do that, put a few arrows into a target.”

Leigh started chuckling, “We don’t ever have normal conversations do we? Throwing knives, punching things and shooting arrows, anyone outside of here would run away screaming…”

“We ain’t exactly normal babybird, have you not noticed that yet?” Clint grinned, his eyes sparkling slightly.

“I may have noticed, once or twice…” she quipped, feeling Bucky wrap an arm around her waist from behind, leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder. She looked at Clint’s fair messy hair for a moment.

“Clint…can I cut your damn hair before we go tomorrow? It’s been driving me insane how fucking messy it is; ever since you got here I’ve been itching to cut it.”

“Sure babybird, you always did cut it nice,” He smiled, “now?”

“Yeah, sit your ass down, I’ll grab the scissors, oh hang on can you wet it first?” she asked, watching as he got up to dunk his head under the kitchen tap, shaking the droplets before rubbing it with a tea towel.

“Yes, because tea towels are for hair.” She quipped, as Bucky kissed her shoulder and released her.

“Sit down,” she motioned to one of the stools, “let me grab the scissors,” she opened a drawer, rooting around until she found the kitchen scissors, turning to Bucky, “ Buck, could we use your hair trimmer? Would that be ok?”

“Yeah, sure doll, lemme just go grab it.” he smiled, turning to go and fetch it.

Bucky returned to find Leigh in serious face mode as she carefully trimmed and styled the older man’s hair, using a small comb to carefully remove the knots and snarls before she combed it out, and snipped. He could tell she’d had a lot of practice in cutting Clint’s hair as she cut quick with precise moves, snipping and combing until the top of his head resembled hair and not the bird’s nest he’d had. She ran her fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, causing the older man to groan and relax, his eyes closing.

“Hey doll, “ he interrupted, holding out the trimmer to her before stepping, leaning, arms crossed, against the kitchen sink watching the easy intimacy between them, as they laughed and joked.

Leigh smiled, pressing a soft kiss down on Clint’s head, smiling as he tilted his head to look up at her.

“Looking good there, Hawk, “ she grinned, switching on the trimmers and, forcing his head back down and facing forward, she began to trim around the neck line and ears, fluid flicking movements until she was satisfied that he looked more human and less nest.

She stepped back, putting the trimmers down and walked around her, reaching out to grab bits of hair, comparing each side,“Yup, all done.”

He ran his hand through his hair, a grin on his face as his fingers didn’t catch on a snarl or knot.

“Thanks babybird.” He said, pulling the towel from around his neck, careful to keep the hair inside, laying it down on the kitchen counter.

He bent and pulled her into a hug, his head pressed into her shoulder.

“Thanks Leigh.” He pressed a small kiss against her temple and stepped back.

“Go, have a shower, you’re covered in bits of blond hair everywhere, otherwise you’ll itch, remember Budapest?”

He tilted his head against an imaginary itch, grimacing, “Aww, babybird, you just had to remind me…now I’m gonna be itching all day.” He walked out, grumbling something even Bucky’s hearing couldn’t catch.

“Budapest?” he queried as she tidied up, grabbing a dustpan to sweep up bits of Clint’s hair and depositing the tea towel in the bin.

“That’s not doing dishes anymore…,” she laughed turning to look at Bucky, “let’s just say that Clint ended up running down a street butt naked, covered in ants, and let’s leave it at that…I wasn’t there but I have read the report. Apparently Nick himself laughed when he read it.”

“Fury laughed?” Bucky raised an eyebrow, grinning as he wrapped his arms round her waist.

“Apparently…took him days to stop smirking every time he looked at Clint.”

“Seriously?”

“Oh yeah, even had Clint sent on another mission so he didn’t have to look at him.” She deadpanned, a small corner of her mouth giving the game away.

“Bucky narrowed his eyes as he saw her mouth twitch.

“Liar…” he whispered, lowering his mouth to hers, feeling her melt against him, sighing in pleasure, his fingers tightening around her waist.

“Hey Darcy.” Leigh knocked on her friends office, opening the door as she heard her call out.

“Oh look, the friend who disappears on me for two days so I have to hear about what happened through the grapevine…” Darcy looked at her over her glasses.

“I’m sorry Darce, it’s been…I wanna say hell, but there’s been some good bits too, so I’ll settle for hectic.”

“So, you and Bucky huh?”

“Yeah, me and Bucky.” Leigh smiled, happiness shining through.

“Wow, that look on your face, not seen that before on you, hang on it’ll come to me…oh that’s right, you’re happy.” Darcy said sarcasm pouring off her, with a grin, as Leigh slumped down in the chair, smiling back at her.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“I’m guessing you two did the dirty when you stayed at Steve’s, ooh alliteration city…” she smiled.

“You could say that, he gave me some of Thor’s mead, he said it was a mistake as it was his, but it wasn’t, he just thought I needed to loosen up. He really didn’t know the effect it has on me.”

“Oh you mean the combustion and stripping your clothes off effect?”

“Oh yeah…did that.”

“and the arousing effect?”

“Oh that happened too, in a big way…”

“But you wouldn’t have if you didn’t want to, would you?” Darcy queried.

“No, it only heightens what’s already there. S’why I never slept with Tony after the whole swapped drinks incident, I only…,” she giggled, blushing, “I only dry humped the sofa until Steve picked me up and dumped me in a cold shower.”

“Lucky Barton wasn’t there, otherwise your little secret would have been out.”

“Oh god yes, thankfully he was at Laura’s that night, and Nat was running late…” she paused as a thought hit her.

“You ok Leigh?”

“Yeah, yeah, just something Clint said the other day, made me wonder if he really was at Laura’s or if he was with Nat or someone else.” she frowned.

“What do you mean someone else?” Darcy asked.

“The morning after…Bucky…when we got back I went to tell Clint what had happened, I owed him that and he…,” she took a deep breath, “he told me that we hadn’t been exclusive and that each of us had been free to sleep with whoever we chose…”

“Ouch, jeez, what an asshole to say that, and can I also say that is the biggest heap of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I saw the two of you after he came back and before Nat…and there’s no fucking way he was cheating on you, admittedly I can’t answer for Nat as can’t imagine anyone saying no to her, and I did hear a rumour about her and Steve, a long time ago, but Clint? No fucking way. He was so in love with you both, it was all he could do to keep his hands off you both.”

“What? We were…”

“Yeah, you thought you were discreet, but this is me, I see things others don’t and you were my only friend once Jane left, so I looked out for you as you did for me, and I am telling you, there was no way that man cheated on you.”

“Then why would he say he did? He knew I’d leave, that lying to me is the only thing I won’t stand for. If he loves…,” she paused to gather her emotions, “if he loves me why would he do that?” she asked, sadly.

“I don’t know sweetie, who knows what goes on in that man’s head.”

“Darce…”

“Don’t Darce me, you know I don’t like him for what he did to you, don’t tell me I need to change my mind, plus now he’s lying to you. You’re better off with Bucky, at least he’ll be there for you.”

“Yeah, he is,” Leigh smiled softly, her cheeks pinking as she thought of him.

“Girl, you got it bad for that man.” she laughed.

“I do.” Leigh admitted laughing, “ I love him; I’m in love with him…”

“Whoa, does he know this?” Darcy asked, her eyes wide

“No, well not in so many words, I haven’t…too much has happened recently, I haven’t had the chance, I should have said it when he said it to me but I was scared.”

“Wait, he’s told you he loves you? Wow, that’s huge…” Darcy exclaimed.

“I know…” she trailed off.

“You have to tell him you love him too.”

“I know…and I will, just…”

“What happened up on the roof? The whole place is buzzing with gossip.” Darcy interrupted.

Leigh sighed, her mouth turning down at edges as she frowned, “Clint told me how Nat died.”

“Shit…I’m thinking it was horrible by the look on your face.”

“Mmmm,” she murmured, tight lipped.

“But you’re not going to tell me are you?”

“Not my tale to tell Darce. If he wants to tell you he will, I won’t break his confidence. Bucky knows but no one else.”

“You told Bucky but you won’t tell me?”

“Bucky was there.” Leigh stated firmly.

“Oh…” Darcy sat back frowning.

“Listen Darce, I came to ask you if you’d started putting out feelers for a PA for me and for you to do the same for yourself. We have the Stark Foundation behind us and you need help too. We’ve run this place on a shoestring for too long. Can I leave it with you to find us a PA each, or one to share, I don’t mind.”

“I get my own intern?” she smiled.

“If an intern is what you need, then yes.”

“Fucking ace, I’d kiss you but I don’t fancy having the Winter Soldier chasing me down for kissing his girlfriend…” she laughed, smiling at the flush on Leigh's neck.

“Oh we’re off on mission tomorrow from 7am, so, thinking about it, put my PA on hold until I’m back, but get yours asap.” 

“When are you back?”

“We’ve pencilled it as open, but three, maybe four days, maybe longer, who knows.”

“Oh hon, I don’t like you going on missions, this’ll be the first since…”

Since I became boss, yes Darce, I am aware of this, which is why I’m off to training now with Bucky and Clint.” She stood up, stretching, hearing her neck muscles crack.

“ok, sweetie, see you at dinner?”

“Of course, it’s beef wellington tonight.” Leigh replied walking out.

“We need a chef too, while you're at it…” Darcy called out after her.

Leigh slowly stretched upwards in the gym, feeling the slight burn of her arm muscles as she did, before she slowly bent at the waist until her hands were flat on the floor, before she wrapped them around he calves, drooping her head. Oh she was so stiff. She slowly straightened up from the waist, bringing one leg up, hooking her hand on her foot and slowly stretching, pulling her leg straight upwards as she stretched, holding the position for three minutes, before doing the same to the other leg. 

When all this was over she was going to start Ballet again. 

She stood in the gym alone, her eyes closed and went through the five Ballet positions, before sweeping down into a plié, and then up on pointe for a few seconds and down into a releve, wincing as her toes protested, bringing her feet down to the floor again before sweeping gracefully into arabesque, going through the positions slowly, feeling all her muscles stretch and burn in a pleasant way. Slowly, gracefully, he brought herself back to the first position and opened her eyes to find both Bucky and Clint watching her, amused grins on both of them.

“When you’ve finished gawping gentlemen, shall we begin?”

“Yes ma’am” Bucky saluted.

“Fine with me…ma’am.” Clint drawled his eyebrows raised as he grinned at her.

“Enough, the pair of you. You’ve both seen me naked, you can look at me with clothes on.” she quipped, enjoying the flushes that spread up their chests and necks.

“What do you suggest first?” Bucky asked to break the awkward silence between him and Clint as they’d glanced at each other, both trying not to think naked thoughts.

“Buck, you said you wanted to try the new punch bag, and Clint, what did you, oh yes, target practice, so we’re going to have you swap. Clint, go punch a bag, ten minutes…don’t forget to wrap your hands. I want you both to understand each other’s strengths and to see your own weaknesses.”

“Yes ma’am.” He grinned making his way over to the punch bag, sitting down to grab some bandages to wrap his fists.

“Bucky, with me.” She stated, leading him through the gym into the adjacent target practice room, swiping her pass to open the bullet proof door. They had discovered to their cost that target practice rooms do need bullet proof doors. She bade him wait whilst she unlocked the weapons room, coming back out with a copy of Clint’s bow and some practice arrows, before leading him over to a walled off section of the room with a target set back at the end of a long corridor. She pressed a button and the stiff, unwieldly target began moving closer to them until it was about a hundred yards from them. She handed him the bow, strapped a wrist guard around his right arm and asked him to assume the position, moving around to correct his stance.

“Stand straight, knees relaxed,” she looked down at his feet, and nudged them apart, “your feet need to be shoulder width apart and you need even balance on both; this isn’t boxing where you lead on one leg, this is precision and patience, which I know you have, Mr super sniper, but crawling on your belly looking through the eye of a rifle is not the same as picking out a target, drawing, cocking and shooting straight, in the blink of an eye. Now,” she handed him a practice arrow, “Can you notch it then draw back the string,” she laughed as he huffed, raising an eyebrow at her, notching the arrow and drawing back the string, feeling his muscles tense as he did.

“OK, now hit the target.”

Bucky relaxed, keeping his legs loose, his breathing steady and let the arrow fly, staring as it clipped the side of the target and fell to the floor.

“You held your breath. Exhale before you let it fly, or your heart beat can ruin the shot.”

“Show me.” He said, handing the bow back to her.

“I can’t, not with this. It has a draw weight of 250lbs, I use a 100lb draw weight. Let me get mine and then I can show you.” She smiled, stepping away, watching as Bucky repeated the actions with a new arrow, exhaling on the release, his smile broad as he hit the target.

Leigh brought her bow back and assumed the stance, her legs and feet perfectly situated, she notched the arrow, drew the string back, bending her elbow, and released the arrow on an exhale, watching as it thudded into the dead centre of the target.

“Not bad,” Bucky quipped, impressed, “how far can you shoot?”

“This corridor runs for 1760 yards, or 1 mile. I’ve hit the back wall before.”

“Shit…could you do it now?”

“I don’t know, it’s been a while since I did something like that but I’ll give it a go.”

She heard Clint come through and smiled, knowing he was stood silently behind her. She glanced round and grinned at him, her eyebrows raised, until he took up his bow and they stood side by side, waiting for the target to move back until it hit the back wall.  
With age old practice and familiarity they notched, drew and fired in a split second, both watching as their arrows flew straight and true down the corridor, thudding through the target and into the back wall. Clint raised his hand and she high fived him, joy in her smile.

“Fuck…consider me impressed, seriously that was amazing.” Bucky exclaimed, coming up to kiss the top of Leigh’s head.

“Where’s mine?” Clint cackled at him, laughing as Bucky reached over to kiss his forehead.

“Stop your whining man.” Bucky snorted, wrapping his arms around Leigh’s shoulders, resting his chin on her head.

“So we’ve shown you ours, now you get to show us yours.” Leigh smiled, tilting her head to look at Bucky, snorting as she heard what she’d said.

He grinned at her before leading the three of them out to the punch bag. Clint’s discarded wrappings lay by the bag and he watched as she picked them up and handed them to him.

“You need to put these back on, while I grab some.”

“But I just…”

“”of course you did, you punched it twice then came to find us.” She smirked as he flushed.

“You’re many things but you’re not a natural boxer, you punch as a last resort, usually when you’ve lost or broken your bow and have run out of knives.” She stated staring straight at him, a small smirk on her face as she pulled her hair back into a high ponytail.

“Jeez Leigh, it’s like you know me…or something.” He laughed, watching as she wrapped her small hands tightly.

“Or something Barton…” she quipped, her heart smiling at the new easiness they had.

Bucky watched them as they bickered between themselves like children. They reminded him of himself and Steve a little, the easiness they had, the familiarity and his heart twisted with longing. He watched as Clint rewrapped his hands, seeing the new haircut and a new lightness on his face, looking like the past six years had just vanished. He watched Leigh as she laughed and joked with him seeing the love she still had and would probably always have for him. His heart twisted again, a pang shooting through him. He’d told her he loved her twice but she’d made no mention of it back to him. Frowning a little he glanced down at the floor.

“…Bucky?”

He looked up at Leigh, her smile hitting him in the gut.

“Sorry doll, I was miles away.” He quipped softly.

“We’re ready now, teach us?” she asked, allowing Clint to step up to the bag first.

Bucky shook his head and got down to business, maybe they were expert marksmen…people but when it came to punching he was the boss.

“Put your left foot forward, you’re left handed so you’ll lead with your left foot and fist, Leigh, you’ll do the opposite,” He looked over to see her studying them intently, “now, I want you to jab the bag once, putting as much power behind it as you have, lead from the shoulder and step into the swing, keeping your balance on the left foot.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Clint quipped, bringing his arm up and throwing his shoulder forward, hitting the bag with a resounded slap, moving the bag back a few centimetres.

“Not bad, needs a little work on your balance but that was a solid hit, that would drop most people, but you left your right fist down, left yourself wide open, so remember, always keep your face guarded. You can take a punch to the gut better than one to the head.”

“OK,” Clint looked at him and nodded before moving back to let Leigh have a go.

Bucky stepped up behind her, closer than he had been for Clint, his hands loosely on her waist as he corrected her stance, “legs shoulder width, balance on your lead foot, stepping back into your back foot if you need to, to keep your balance,” he said, his voice soft as she stood, both hands raised in front of her face in a defensive position, “Now lead through on your right foot, putting your shoulder into it, so the power comes from your upper body and not your arm. You’re less likely to pull a muscle or snap a tendon that way, plus you’ll have your whole body weight behind it.”

“Ok,” Leigh smiled, waiting until Bucky had stepped back before she threw her punch, feeling her shoulder muscles pull painfully as her first hit the bag. It barely moved. She brought her arms down, shaking her hands out. They hurt.

“That was not too bad,” Bucky said diplomatically, “Have you ever punched anyone or anything before?” he asked.

“No, that was the first time,” she grinned, “it was bad wasn’t it.”

“For a beginner it wasn’t but if you came across someone like me or Clint who was out to get you, I’d stick with knives and arrows. It was a good try but you’d need at least a years’ worth of training before I’d be happy letting you lose on anyone.”

“Show us, Buck” Clint called out, patting the bench next to him for Leigh to join him, off to the side of the bag, far enough away not to get hit.

Bucky grinned at them, cracked his neck muscles, stepped into the position and let fly, putting all of his strength and weight into it, watching as the bag flew back snapping its chain, the seam ripping, releasing sand onto the floor.

Clint looked, wide eyed, silent as Bucky demolished the bag with one punch of his flesh arm.

“Fuck…remind me never to get on the wrong side of you man, fuck me…and that was your flesh arm, how much stronger is your metal arm?” he asked.

Bucky looked around seeing the thick metal sheeting at the back of where the bag had stood and, stepping up, punched a hole straight through it.

“Ok then…” Clint said slowly, his eyebrows crawling up into his hairline.

Bucky turned back to them, smiling as he looked at Leigh who grinned back at him. She’d seen him do this before so she’d known about his strength but it always took her breath away at how strong he really was, and yet his hands could be so gentle and tender. Slowly she stood and walked over to him, seeing his puzzled look before she stood on tiptoe to kiss him, stretching to wrap her arms round his neck. She pulled back and stretched again to whisper in his ear.

“I love you.” She said softly.

She stood back down flat on the floor watching as he broke into the widest smile she’d ever seen on him.

Neither noticed Clint leaving.


	19. Chapter 19

Leigh sipped her coffee, checking and rechecking her Stark Pad; weather reports from New York and Russia and across the Atlantic. There was a band of low pressure under Greenland that looked a bit chancy to her, but they’d have to wing in. No one outside of the Avengers knew the nature of this mission. Even the cadets that S.H.I.E.L.D. had forced them to take as part of the rebuilding were unaware. Of course, she knew that rumours were floating around and they’d seen her comings and goings, first with Clint and then Bucky. She wasn’t stupid; she knew that the cadets mess existed on a hotbed of gossip and rumour as they were so far below the first rung of the ladder no one ever told them anything.

She remembered her first week as a cadet when she’d managed to impress a certain visiting Agent Barton, who had then taken over her training personally before recruiting her himself into his team with Natasha Romanoff. She recalled quaking in her boots under the glaring eye of Nick Fury as he railed at Clint about another damn stray until Clint had told that she’d managed to hit the far end of the Archery training wall at 1700 yards , having sent the arrow straight through the target, set at 500 yards. She remembered the silence that had filled Nick’s office as she’d stared straight ahead, army cadet style stance, in her combats and white t shirt, begging her legs not to shake as he stood in front of her glaring at her.

“One month Barton, she fucks up you’re all canned.”

She had practiced until her fingers bled and every arrow hit the target, and then they’d gone on a mission. Her first. Clint had sat with her as she shook in the back of the quinjet, his strong hands rubbing her arms and releasing the knots in her shoulders, telling her she would be fine, as Nat flew them to Rome. She didn’t know the whys of the mission only the who and that she would be backup, to come out of the quinjet only if a code red was raised. If they had not returned in five hours she was to pilot the quinjet back the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters and declare them both M.I.A.

She sat, sipping her coffee, lost in her memory as she recalled the terror of hearing Clint’s voice over the comms calling a code red and sending through a location. She had almost wet herself as she picked up her quiver and her bow and had set out to find them both. She’d found Clint first, tucked into a small pock marked balcony of a family run hotel, a bullet wound in his side. Hearing rather than seeing the cock of a gun she’d whirled and shot an arrow up and across the narrow street before she could even blink, watching in horror as her first ever kill collapsed, her arrow through his throat. She’d hustled Clint out of the hotel and to a more secure location before she’d gone looking for Nat. Nat had found her, her red hair and face totally covered in blood, her eyes blank, and together they’d helped Clint back to Quinjet where she’d dug a bullet out of him and stitched him up.

Nat hadn’t spoken to her at all on the way back and she’d sat, quietly talking to Clint as she set up his drip bag that pumped him full of anti-biotics and pain killers, keeping him from going into shock. When they’d arrived, Clint had been rushed off to medical and she’d been left, in a blood soaked top and trousers as Nat had shut the jet down. She’d stood in the middle of the hanger, staring at nothing and had been surprised to feel strong arms round her and soft curves pressing into her as Nat had hugged her, a whispered thank you, before she’d walked away without another word.

Within three months they were the top team in S.H.I.E.L.D with more kills between them than S.T.R.I.K.E. They were Delta and they were both feared and respected. Then came the mission that had led to her family. They had been given intel that had led them to a swiss banker with ties to the mob and a predilection towards pretty faces; they had learned after the fall of the Triskelion, when Nat released the files onto the web, that he’d been part of Hydra, but at the time he was a banker to the mob and they were ordered to take him out. The mob was getting into illegal weapon sales and quite a few of their weapons had been used against S.H.I.E.L.D. 

Intelligence had followed the money trail and it had all come through this one man, living in Switzerland, outside American jurisdiction, so they’d gone in undercover. Nat was still walking off an injury from a prior mission where she’d been sliced in the leg, so Leigh had been tasked as Clint’s wife; they were a rich American Businessman and his trophy wife. Clint had played the part so well they’d been invited to the banker’s mansion for a party and she had simpered up to the banker, playing her part as the simple but sexy second wife. The banker had almost been reeled in until that fateful use of her nickname when Clint had suddenly turned red on the dancefloor, his voice strangling as he laughed silently, his shoulders shaking with mirth, sweat pouring down his face. She had seen their host looking at them so she’d done the only thing she had thought to do. She had kissed him deep and hard on the dancefloor, her hands gripping his buttocks as she ground against him. It had shocked him out of his fit of giggles and he’d responded so much that they had missed the Banker smirking at them and leaving.

Nat had been furious, at her for kissing him and at him for fucking up so much they’d lost their chance. She had slipped out of their shared hotel room that evening and had finished the mission herself, leaving them alone for three days with radio silence.

She remembered Clint getting up from where he lay on the sofa that evening and slipping into bed with her. She’d been so surprised she’d squeaked at him as he kissed her, asking him what he thought he was doing until it was obvious what he was doing. She’d been attracted to him from the start and had developed a little crush so she’d easily gone along with him as he softly stoked her embers, building her up and up and up, entering her swiftly until she was nothing but ashes. She had given him both her body and her heart than evening.

Natasha had returned three days later and Clint had sat Leigh down and explained what a polyamorous relationship was and that he wanted her to join them. She’d been horrified at first as he’d also told her about Laura and the kids until he’d talked to her about having a family of their own, a bond; a team, that would hold each other through the nightmares, support each other through the kills and love each other through the bad times. Seeing the love and affection he and Nat shared, she wanted the same and agreed. It had taken a while until she’d become free sexually with Nat as well as Clint but they were her family and she loved them fiercely, loved Nat’s soft kisses and the way she would softly stroke Leigh’s fevered skin, kissing and sucking as Clint thrust into her, filling her, fanning the flames until she exploded. She soon learned to return the favour for Nat, enjoying the softness and strength she got from them both. 

She remembered the first time she’d met Laura, seeing only acceptance in the woman’s warm brown eyes, eying her husband, as he stood with his arms wrapped around both Leigh and Nat. They had sat up most of the night as the kids were with Laura’s parents, hashing out the rules they would need to follow to make it work. It had been hard work and a lot of blood, sweat and tears had gone into it but it had worked. It had brought her so much love and peace and, if she was honest, some damn fine and mind blowing orgasms but mainly what she recalled was the all encompassing sense of security and safety. Then had come the snap and it had all gone to shit. 

Until Bucky.

Leigh checked her watch, smiling as a yawning Bucky walked into the kitchen to grab a coffee.

“How long you been sat here? I woke and missed you doll.” He smiled, walking over to kiss her softly, sighing as he felt her soft lips under his, her hands tangled in his hair.

“Mmm,” He licked his lips, “Tastes like coffee.” he smiled sleepily at her.

“Been here about an hour, I guess, I’ve just been sat, thinking, about Clint, about Nat…you.” She smiled, bringing herself back to the present.

“Would…?” he paused, “What…?,” another pause.

Leigh looked up into his kind blue eyes, seeing him struggle as he stood next to her, his feet bare on the cold tiles.

“Buck? What? What did you want to ask me?” she said softly, reaching her hand up to softly rub his knuckles, still marvelling at the quiet strength he controlled.

“If we get Nat back and she and Clint are together and they ask you…” he trailed off not wanting to finish his sentence, his eyes asking her the question.

“Would I go back with them? Is that what you’re asking?”

He nodded, his face drawn with concern, his breathing quiet.

“A week ago I would have said yes, straight away, no question, I would have moved heaven and hell to have my family back with me, to feel their strength, their support and security but I don’t need them for that anymore. I love them, I love them both with all my heart, and I always will but I’m not in love with them, not anymore, it’s taken me so long to see what was in front of me.” She paused as he stared at her, a small smile on his face, his attention fully on her and her alone.

“I don’t want to share anymore; I want to be selfish; I want someone who’s mine and I’m theirs and theirs alone. And that’s you,” she said softly, feeling a tear fall down her face as she realised she didn’t need them anymore, she needed Bucky, “I am head over heels in love with you,” she whispered, her voice breaking shakily, “and so, no, I wouldn’t go back.”

She clung to him as he drew her up from her seat and kissed her, pouring all his passion, his love, his fears, his strength and security into her, feeling peace as he wrapped his arms around her and held her.

“I’m so fucking in love with you doll, it scares me how much,” He whispered, “if I lost you…” his voice breaking, shuddering.

“I’m not going anywhere James; I’ll be with you till the end of the line.” She whispered back, feeling his tears against her face, as he hugged her.

Leigh sat back in the quinjet, feeling Bucky’s strong thigh pressed against hers as Clint fired up the plane. Slowly they taxied out of the hanger, apprehension settling in her belly as they reached their take off point and shot straight up, fast, into the sky. They hovered for a moment as Clint worked the controls before setting off across the Atlantic to their location outside Moscow. The jet flew at Mach 2.1 and would take approximately three hours, barring any Atlantic storms, or the jet stream, until they reached their destination. She took a deep breath and settled back against the jump seat, feeling Bucky’s fingers thread through hers for a quick squeeze as he unbuckled from his seat and got up to talk to Clint and Sam. She smiled, knowing what he was doing. He had reached out to Clint the day after the rooftop, bringing him in, including him in every decision, asking for his advice and talking to him about his time in the Red Room with Nat. Slowly over the course of that day, she’d seen glimpses of the old Clint, his easy movement, his laughter and jokes, his silliness, his sunshine essence that had drawn her to him at the start, only for her to pulled under by the dark.

She had slipped into the room, joining them as they’d sat chatting about old times, memories and Nat but not her. Clint wasn’t going to share his memories of her with Bucky and she’d smiled at him, as she’d sat next to Bucky, revelling in his warmth, her eyes conveying to Clint her love and acceptance that what they’d once had was gone and he had returned the gesture, making her laugh once again with silliness and jokes.

Silently she sat alone in the body of the jet, going over their check list again and again until her eyes were sore and her mind was numb.

“Hey babybird, you ok?” Clint slid into the seat next to her, a small space between his leg and hers.

“I’m nervous Hawk, what if…ugh, there are so many variables to this plan…”

He reached out to take her small hands in his, his blue green eyes straight with her,” we take this one step at a time, You and Bucky, you make a good team, you trust each other and you have each other’s backs, that’s all you can ask for. You take it bit by bit; you get to be Russian tourists for the day and take a nice walk about a museum. Then when you get back to us, we suit up and go in hard, as Cap would say,” he grinned at her, his eyes softening as she looked at him, her blue eyes scared and apprehensive, “and then we get the girl and live happily ever after.” Leigh snorted softly at his words.

“Will you?” she asked, her voice soft and hesitant.

“Will I what babybird?”

“Will you live happily ever after, just you and Nat?” she whispered.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, looking her straight in the eyes, “I have loved Natasha more than I’ve loved anyone else,” he said sadly, keeping her gaze, “for as long as I can remember,” he took a deep breath, blowing it out with a huff, focusing on their hands, “I lied to you babybird. I knew you deserved to be with someone better than my sorry excuse for an ass, so I lied to you, Nat and I? we never cheated on you, well apart from Steve but then who tells Nat she can’t do something, certainly not me.” He chuckled softly, “You deserve something I can’t give you.” He sighed watching a small tear balancing on her eyelashes, her beautiful blue eyes looking at him.

“And what’s that?” she whispered, her voice shaky and full of emotion.

“My undivided attention.” He watched as the tear fell from her lash onto her cheek, slowly rolling down her face.

“My beautiful babybird,” he sighed heavily, his eyes filling with sadness, “I couldn’t give you what you needed, so I let you go.” He sniffled, feeling the tears rising, his chest constricting painfully as he watched her register his words, slowly and with grace, “Bucky’s a good man and I know he’ll be good for you, be there for you, give you his undivided attention; be the man you deserve. You have so much light in you babybird and you need to fly.” His soft, gruff voice broke as he watched her cry. 

Leigh cried silent tears as she looked into the face of the man she had given her heart, mind, body and soul to all those years ago.

“I love you babybird but I let you go.”

Leigh closed her eyes, tears falling, her emotions rolling all over the place as she felt familiar and safe arms wrapping around her.

“I love you doll, I’m not gonna leave you.”

She buried her head into his embrace and cried softly.


	20. Chapter 20

Clint gently brought the quinjet down in a small clearing, surrounded by a copse of trees. It was a perfect place to hide. Methodically he shut the jet down, leaving it on standby mode, just in case, there was the slight possibility they needed to make a quick exit. He turned to watch dispassionately as both Bucky and Leigh disrobed from their tac suits and began the task of dressing as civilians, namely Yakov and Irina Federova, a young, lower middle class couple from Central Moscow. Levi jeans with patches, generic t shirts, a slim, stylish black jumper for Leigh with a heavy zip up navy blue cardigan for Bucky with black boots and generic parkas with black leather gloves for Bucky to hide his hand. Leigh knew Clint was watching them undress but it was just something he did. He needed to be certain that they wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb and that they were authentic. He’d done the same for her and Natasha, and she had, for him. She watched Bucky as he inserted the deep ear piece, and did the same with hers, pulling her hair forward to cover her ears.

She looked at Bucky with a critical eye as he zipped up the cardigan all the way to the top.

“Here, let me,” she reached out to tug the zip down a few inches, giving the collar of the cardigan room to sag a little, “You looked like someone’s grandpa,” she snorted softly, watching him glare at her.

“Technically he’s old enough.” Clint quipped, a grin on his face as Bucky turned to glare at him, as he pulled a wide brimmed fisherman’s cap on over his hair and ears and added a pair of plain glass black framed specs.

“And technically you’re old enough to be her father…” Bucky growled; his eyes flat.

“Bucky… please.” Leigh held up a placating hand as Clint bristled behind them, nostrils flaring, his eyes flashing.

“Sorry, doll,” he whispered, his shoulder sagging as he cracked his neck muscles, loosening the tension, “sorry, man,” he glanced over at Clint who glared back at him, tension radiating in his frame.

“Hey kiddos, don’t make me come back there and whomp yo’ asses.” Sam’s voice rang out, his tone light but firm.

Bucky smiled slightly and Leigh was glad to see Clint do the same.

“We all ok?” she asked looking between the two men.

“Yeah,” Bucky smiled down at her, reaching to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Peachy, with a side of keen.” Clint ground out. The crack about being old enough to be Leigh’s father had stung. He knew he was twenty years older than her, but he’d never seen it like that, Leigh had just been Leigh. Age hadn’t mattered.

“Good, cause I’d hate to write you both up when we get back.” she said, her voice steady.

“Ma’am.” Bucky said, stepping back and standing almost at attention. 

Leigh could hear Clint snort behind her, grumbling under his breath and ignored it. She cracked her neck muscles and looked up at Bucky, reaching out for his hand.

 _“Well then soldier, let’s go for a nice day out.”_ She switched to Russian, _“we speak in Russian from now on until we get back here, ok?”_

 _“That’s ok with me,”_ he looked devilishly at her for a moment then glanced up over at Clint, _“hey, do you speak Russian? Did Nat ever teach you?”_ he asked, a smooth smile on his face.

“What? Something about Nat, I don’t understand you man.” Clint replied, confusion written all over his face.

 _“No, he doesn’t, he knows a few words but that’s all.”_ She replied.

 _“Good, as I’m gonna describe in detail what I want to do with you when we get back to base, starting with stripping you slowly out of your tac suit, pressing soft kisses over your exposed skin inch by inch, before I run my tongue all over your wet pussy, pushing my fingers deep inside you and licking your cum before…”_ he said slowly, pulling her into a hug so he could whisper, his voice low, as he watched her pupils dilate, hearing a slight hitch in her breathing.

Leigh looked at the dark haired man, her eyes hooded with desire and shook her head. No. they were meant to be going on a recon. She reached out to slap his arm.

“Bucky!” she said, switching back to English, “Enough,” she smiled in spite of herself, as he grinned back at her, a soft laugh reaching her ears.

She turned her back to him, knowing her face was red, as she made sure she had everything she needed in her small bag, identification, money, a phone, set up on the MTC network to take photos, keys to a non-existent address, lipstick, mirror, photo of herself and Bucky, laughing in a selfie, crumpled with age, tucked into a small pocket within the bag; all the things an ordinary Russian woman would carry on a day trip. Similarly, Bucky had a beat up wallet in his jeans pocket, with his ID, a Russian bank card connected to a S.H.I.E.L.D bank account, some notes and small change, a similar selfie of the two of them, tucked into a small section within the wallet, the same kind of phone as hers and a comb in his back pocket, together with a half empty packet of Russian cigarettes and an old, scratched, metal lighter.

Leigh could feel the old butterflies fluttering inside her belly and, taking a deep breath, she pulled a woollen cap on over her hair and nodded.

“Ok, Sam can you open the door, we’re ready.”

“Yes ma’am.” He called back, clicking the button to the back door, hearing the low hum as the bay door swung down, allowing them to walk out into the trees. Clint had positioned the jet so they wouldn’t just appear in the middle of the clearing but could make it look as if they had gone for a walk in the woods.

Bucky took her hand and led her down the ramp and into the dark, damp wooded area.

She shivered at the drop in temperature, glad she’d insisted on a parka rather than the jean jacket Bucky had suggested. The look on his face as the cold air hit suggested he felt the same. They walked ahead for a couple of minutes, turning to face each other.

 _“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I did back there, but he wound me up. Fucking grandpa…”_ Bucky murmured, pulling her into a hug.

 _“It’s ok, my love, he can be like that, he’s coming to terms with a lot, since she left…”_ Leigh’s mind whirled as she tried to keep the conversation neutral yet convey her meaning.

 _“I love you doll and I meant what I said to you.”_ His blue eyes twinkled at her as he kissed her slow and deep, pressing her up against a nearby tree, dipping his head to suck at the soft skin of her neck, hearing her soft moans, pulling at her jumper, slipping his hand down the V neck to rub a nipple through her t shirt, before releasing her and leading her through the wooded area out into the clearing, grinning at her kiss swollen lips and dazed eyes, knowing that if anyone did see them, they looked like any other couple who had decided to ‘take a walk in the woods’.

Leigh held his hand tight, trying to bring her mind and body under control, mentally she knew why he’d just done that, but emotionally and physically she was on a high.

 _“You ok doll?”_ he whispered, smiling as she nodded, as they neared the town outskirts, fields giving way to roads and house, as they skirted round what looked like the town dump, cars piled up high against green roofed out buildings and a general aura of decay, until they found a small road to stroll down, hand in hand, whispering to each other, smiles and laughter, each hyperaware of both the other and their surroundings. The sun shone bright and Leigh wished she’d thought to bring sunglasses as she squinted around.

 _“Wish I’d brought my sunglasses”_ she quipped, laughing as they walked passed old, dilapidated homes onto the main road, a few trees dotted the road. She squinted up the road, as they walked past a sprawling bungalow set in its own plot on the corner of the two roads. An old man looked up from where he’d been gathering leaves in the front garden, suspicion on his face as he looked at the two strangers walking past.

 _“Good morning,”_ Bucky called out to him, waving as they walked slowly past.

 _“Good morning, where are you from?”_ the old man replied, _“you are not from around here.”_

_“Moscow.”_

_“Long way to come for a walk…”_ the man replied, his eyes narrowed.

 _“Ah, it’s the wife, she wanted to see the museum,”_ he smiled, hugging Leigh close to him, _“thought we’d go for a walk in the woods before we went in,”_ he smiled, an eyebrow raised, a small smirk on his face as he bent to kiss her.

 _“I don’t blame you, I would too if she were my wife…I would keep her bare foot and pregnant. The best way a woman can be.”_ the old man cackled, his gaze lecherous, as Leigh’s face flushed at his words, _“enjoy.”_

Bucky laughed along and smiled his goodbyes, and making sure Leigh was hugged into his side, they walked off down towards the road that would lead them to the museum. 

She didn’t speak but he could feel her annoyance rolling off her. 

_“Dedushka are so set in their ways; they don’t appreciate all that a beautiful woman can really do.”_ He whispered, feeling her slowly relaxing at his words.

 _“Sorry Yakov, I…wasn’t thinking.”_ She replied, slowly, hating the fact they had to be neutral with each other when all she’d wanted was to rail at the old man for being such a sexist pig, but she was a professional and settled for imagining all the ways she could kill him, smirking as she did.

They walked for a while chatting about inconsequential things, down the purely residential area. Their intel had indicated there would be shops and cafes but so far all they’d seen were houses and land.

 _“Are we in the right area?”_ she whispered as they continued to walk.

 _“Fucking hope so doll.”_ He whispered back as they neared a long brick wall on the right hand side of the road, a small sign proclaiming the museum was open from 10am until 5pm with the entrance 100 yards beyond, _“This had better be good, you’ve been moaning about it for such a long time, although I do like hearing you moan.”_ He said loudly as they neared a couple of people walking up to them.

Leigh glared up him, feeling her face flush, _“Yakov, please, it’s embarrassing…"_ she blushed prettily as they stepped round the older couple, who smiled at them.

 _“Love you doll.”_ He whispered, stopping them and pulling her in for a kiss, glancing back to see the couple walking away. He pulled back, a smile on his face, before bending to whisper close to her ear, _“Coast clear, I needed to check.”_

 _“Love you too soldier boy,”_ she whispered back as they continued walking off towards the entrance.

Clint grinned to himself as he sat in the quinjet. He might not speak fluent Russian but he definitely understood the word for pussy. Bucky was so whipped. He shook his head, chuckling softly.

“What’s s’funny man?” Sam smiled at him.

“Oh nothing, just a random thought.” Clint replied as they both settled down for the long wait.

Leigh looked at up the beautiful grey brick building with its beautiful red tiled roof and wide sash windows, the front entrance flanked by 4 tall columns astride an arch. It was set in immaculately presented gardens and grounds. Bucky had paid for them both to enter, each having a mid-level ticket, not too poor yet no too rich, which gave them access to both the grounds and the building, and Bucky had led her laughing as he walked her around the house, pointing out the windows and the roof tiles, holding her hand and laughing and joking with her, like any young couple in love. The ticket had not given them access to the tour and this suited Bucky as he really didn’t want to have to trail round listening to some dry historian waffling on about Alexander Pushkin.

Together they strolled down the grey brick path that led to the building, hand in hand, wide smiles on each of their faces. Only another professional would have noticed the slight tension to their shoulders and the way their eyes darted around each other as they took stock of their surroundings.

Bucky glanced around the surrounding grounds, seeing three gardeners spaced out from each other, each holding what looked like old, rusted tools. He squeezed Leigh’s hand once to let her know he’d seen something out of place and she stopped, allowing him to bring her close to nibble at her neck, spinning her round until she could see what he’d seen. She quickly squeezed his hand once back, and stepped away, mock pushing him away, complaining about him being grabby in public. He raised an eyebrow, smirking and she nodded slightly.

_“Aww Irina, I just want the world to know you’re mine.”_

_“Carry on like this Yakov and they will.”_ She grinned as they stepped up to the white front door, pushing it open to step inside. 

Slowly they walked around the rooms, smiling at others, as they walked from one overcrowded, cluttered room to another, stopping for Leigh to admire various items, pointing them out to her loving but long suffering husband, giving Bucky the chance to glance around at the room with an unaffected air, seeing the discrete cameras and flush set doors, that looked identical to the wall, if you didn’t know what you were looking at. They slowly took their time, ambling from each room to the next, looking nothing more than a young couple in love on a day out.

They had reached the last room that was open to them and he pulled her away from the thinning crowd, pulling her into a close hug, a few kisses pressed against her cheek as she looked adoringly up at him, his mouth moving close to her ear. 

_“This reminds me of my babushka’s place, remember? The house always looked much bigger from outside but seemed tiny and cramped when you got in.”_ he smiled, pulling back from her, holding her close. 

_“Your babushka had too much stuff for such a house, and it was so drafty and cold.”_ She smiled at him. 

He grinned, knowing she had picked up on the strange air currents in the last two rooms and now this one. All three rooms were set, supposedly at the back of the house, but neither had windows at the back of them, just what appeared at first to be wooden slatted walls. Leigh walked to one side of the room, close by the side window that overlooked the grounds and looked at one of the many plaques that adorned the walls, reading about Russia’s greatest poet with a serious look on her face. She could feel Bucky walk up behind her, feeling his arms wrap around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder, as she read, glancing out of the nearby window as something caught her eye. 

She gasped loudly, a few of the others in the room turning to look at her. Bucky turned her to look at him, seeing tears in her eyes. He looked at her his brow furrowed with concern. 

_“I wanted to tell you, Yakov, that NATalia is a good name for a child, don’t you think.”_ she stared at him, her eyes wide, as she brought his hand to her belly, hoping he’d understand, watching as he glanced out of the window seeing a flash of red hair in the distance. 

_“A baby?”_ he said, loudly, stepping back with such intense longing in his eyes she was taken aback. 

He swept her up into his arms and spun her, laughing up at her, until she was facing the window, glancing out to see a red haired figure running off to the left behind a row of trees. Slowly he brought her back down and kissed her deeply, a round of applause from behind them startling her for a moment until she blushed. He grabbed her hand and they rushed out of the museum, giggling together. They headed off around the side of the building, still laughing and joking with each other until he grabbed her hand, pulling her to him for a quick kiss. 

_“You saw where she went?”_

_“To the left, behind a row of trees.”_

He grabbed her hand and they strolled, slowly off in a random route that led them off to the left behind a row of trees, stopping every now and again to kiss and scout the area. 

_“I think Maria is a good name too, strong, like Alexander or Alexei.”_ Bucky murmured as they walked close to an old outhouse. 

_“We are not naming our child after your dedushka,”_ she spat on the ground, _“may he rot in hell.”_ She argued back, as Bucky raised his hands and walked off, looking like a young man arguing with his wife. He glanced up at the outhouse, seeing the new hardware dotted in amongst the old rotting wires and the brand new locks on old doors. 

Leigh buried her head in her hands, crying, peering through her fingers to see a gardener appear from the far side of the outhouse. 

_“I’m sorry doroguy, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”_ Bucky said, walking back to her to take her in his arms. 

She tapped his arm once to indicate one man behind, smiling up at him. 

_“You can’t be here, it’s forbidden.”_ The man called out, walking towards them, a rusted shovel in his hand. 

_“I’m sorry, we didn’t realise,”_ Bucky turned to face him, stiffening as he recognised one of the men from before, _“Gonna be a dad and I guess emotions run high.”_

Leigh felt him stiffen and glanced from him to the man, feeling Bucky tapped twice on her arm for danger. She took a deep breath and smiled at the man. 

_“I'm sorry, just found out I’m pregnant and we can’t decide on a name. Names are very important, don’t you think? they decide who you’re going to be in life. You don’t want one that reminds you of nastiness or bad times, you need a strong name and our detka will be a strong woman,”_ she smiled as Bucky stepped away from her, allowing the man to walk closer, watching as Bucky punched him in the back of the head, hearing his neck crack as he dropped to the floor. 

Bucky dragged the man back, pushing him under nearby shrubs. He knew he’d be discovered but he’d had no choice. That man would have recognised him sooner or later. They crept to the side of the outhouse and Bucky pushed her up against the wooden siding, leaning in to suckle her neck, as she took her phone out, moaning as he hit a tender spot on her shoulder. 

_“ Do we need to bring others into this or can we sort out the names by ourselves?”_ she whispered 

_“Others are always helpful, names are so important as you said doroguy.”_

She smiled at him, pulling him up to kiss him, hearing the cock of a pistol behind them, as she pressed the small black button on the side of the phone, a small throwing knife in her other hand. 

Bucky peered down at it, seeing her smiling at him, God he loved her so much. 


	21. Chapter 21

Leigh took a small breath, smiling as she heard the cock of the pistol behind her, she glanced to the left, letting Bucky know which way she was going. He ducked to the right and she threw the knife, hearing it hit the man’s throat with a wet thud. She turned to Bucky to see a gun being held to the side of his head, a taser device being pressed against his metal arm, rendering it useless. She made a small move, closing her eyes as she felt something pressing against the back of her own head.

“I really wouldn’t make a move if I were you Agent Miller, I’m certain Bucky would hate to see your brains splatter over this outhouse.” She stiffened, recognising the dull Sokovian voice, before something hit her hard in the back of the head and her vision blacked out as she fell to the floor.

“Hello Bucky, good to see you again. I have someone else with me who is waiting to see you. Pick her up.” He motioned to the prone figure lying on the muddy ground, blood seeping into her clothing, “Bring them.” Helmut Zemo said, a small smile on his face as he motioned to his men to take them into the outhouse.

Clint sat slowly turning over the cards, determined to complete this game of solitaire. He’d played 15, lost 12. This was not like golf.

An alarm rang out in the quinjet startling Sam, who’d been resting, his feet propped up on the dash.

“Fuck, code red, where’s the location and who sent it?” he called out, running the short distance to the cockpit, seeing the flashing red button, a map appearing on the small screen, next to it.

“Looks like a small building on the museum grounds, and it was Leigh’s phone."

“I’ll grab my stuff; can you take hers?”

“I can take you as well as your stuff, hey I carried Cap, I can carry your sorry ass.”

“Thanks man,” Clint chuckled, sobering as he thought of Leigh being in danger. His babybird had never been on a mission without either himself or Nat and if Bucky let her get hurt, he was gonna have strong words with him.

Grabbing both quivers, extra knives, a couple of S.H.I.E.L.D issue guns and some ammo, he walked outside, shutting the jet up as he watched Sam release the Falcon’s wings, powering up the small but powerful device.

“Clench up Legolas.” Sam quipped, as he grabbed the back of Clint’s tac suit and soared into the sky. 

Clint felt his stomach do a fucking loop the loop until they levelled out, racing over the small town towards a park near to the museum. There was a chance they had been seen but a code red was code red.

Leigh awoke and groaned, her head was pounding and her vision blurry. She looked around the small room. Cell. It was a cell; she noted the locked door and lack of windows. She moved her arms slowly, hearing the rattle of handcuffs. Fuck. She was chained to the bed. She moved the chain to see how long it was and slowly, her legs wobbling under her she got up, pushing herself up off the small camp bed. She sat back down with a rush as her head pounded, her legs trembling.

Really should have done more Ballet.

She sat back against the cold, damp wall, smiling slightly as she waited for her head to settle.

Concussion was always a bitch.

Bucky looked up, laughing as blood dripped down his chin.

“They don’t fucking work anymore! You can say them all you like you fucking asshole, but I ain’t him no more,” he chuckled, shuffling as much as he could in the heavy set metal chair. 

He’d had a moment of sheer panic when he’d been brought into the room, his mind screaming at him, a small whimpering ‘no’ leaving his lips as he’d been forced into the chair, the spectre of Leigh’s broken body upper most in his mind. He knew he had to comply with what they wanted, biding his time until he could get both her and Natasha free, but fuck…his mind had taken one look at the chair and rebelled.

Zemo stood back from the secured man, staring at him. His metal arm was useless, the taser device his Natasha had made had seen to that. He flipped through the red book, staring at the words. They should have worked. He tried one more time. Maybe his soldat had been out of action a bit too long and just needed time but if not then he would just create new words, like he’d done for his Natasha.

“Zhelaniye,”

Bucky looked at him and repeated his word “Zhelaniye” he mocked.

“Semnadtsat,”

“Semnadtsat,” Bucky said, a hint of sarcasm as he looked up at Zemo, “Aww, did you forget the rest? Come on, I’ll help you, Rzhaviy, Rasvet, Pech, Devyat, Dobroserdechniy, Vozvrasheniye na rodinu, Adin, Tovarniy vagon,” he spat the last word out, “Soldat? gotovy podchinit'sya.”

Bucky grinned staring up at the dumbfounded man, seeing an unsettling smile on the man’s face. His own smile faded. What was going on?

“Never mind Soldat, if these words do not work, we will just make new ones. Natasha?”

Bucky watched as Natasha Romanoff appeared from behind him, her beautiful red hair swept back in a severe braid, her arms clasped behind her back as she stood to attention.

“gotovy podchinit'sya” she replied, her voice monotonous.

“Hold him.”

She reached over, holding him down. He was puzzled. There was no way Natasha was as strong as him, no fucking way, unless…he yelled as the thought hit him. Serum. She’d been made into him. He panicked, his heart pounding as he struggled against her grip to no avail, his mind turning to a scared child as he saw his greatest fear approaching him. He yelled, screaming out as the metal circlet was strapped around his head, fear spiking through his entire body as he heard the hum of the machine as it kicked into life. No! this was not happening. He would die before he became him again. No!

“No…” he whimpered, screaming as the pain hit.

Leigh rested against the wall, her mind whirring as she heard the screaming begin.

“James…” she whispered, her eyes wide with shock and fear. 

She lifted her chained hands to her head rummaging around in her messy hair, smiling as she found the small hair pin she’d hidden in there, knowing that the thickness of her hair would hide it. Quickly she brought it down and set about picking the locks, grunting with the effort as she twisted her wrists in an unnatural way, feeling the bones grinding as the tendons strained. She jammed the pin in one of the locks, slowly twisting it back and forth, grimacing as another scream hit her.

“James, I’m coming…just hold on, please baby.” She whispered, forcing the pin deep into the mechanism until it clicked open. She shook her sore wrist, quickly making work of the other lock.

Now to get out of the room.

Clint looked over at Sam as they crouched in the bushes and trees that lined the small enclosure to the outhouse. He could see five guards, each with some kind of firepower. He held up his hand making a fist then extending his fingers to indicate five. Sam nodded, unlocking his gun.

Bucky felt muzzy and could taste blood in his mouth. Dimly he opened his eyes, his head pounding. He peered around the room. He must have passed out. Zemo was stood over to the side, talking with what looked like a scientist type and Natasha was nowhere to be seen. He was tired. Tired of this, tired of always being on edge. Tired of everything. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to hear what was going on around him. He could hear the dim humming of the chair, the chatter of Zemo and the scientist in front of him…there, just there on the edge of his hearing, a small shuffle of boots on the concrete. Natasha was behind him. Probably had orders to take him out or restrain him if he made a run for it.

Slowly he clenched his fists, feeling some small movement in his metal arm, whatever they had done to him it didn’t last.

“Sir, the subject is awake. He is faking it but he is awake.” Natasha’s voice rang out from behind him.

“Thank you Natasha.” Zemo smiled, his eyes cold and dead as he looked at her.

“So Barnes, you are awake and ready for the next round?” he smiled, grabbing Bucky’s hair, yanking his head back, to ram a mouth guard in. Bucky stopped struggling and allowed it to happen. He was tired.

Quietly, Clint let three arrows fly, grinning as they hit their targets as Sam took out the remaining two. They crept to the door of the outhouse, Sam motioning that he would enter first, Clint keeping watch, covering his back. Slowly they entered the darkened building. It was empty, except for old rusted, heavy machinery that sat against the walls, dirt covering the floor.

Clint motioned for Sam to keep quiet as he pointed out footprints that hadn’t been cleared away, and a line of dirt that seemed out of place. He walked quietly over and, crouching down, felt around, his fingers scrabbling in the dirt, smiling as he felt a small lever. He pressed down, stumbling back as the concrete gave way; a set of stairs appearing. He winced as the rumbling of the machinery sounded loud in the quiet building.

“So much for a surprise entrance. Sounds like Budapest all over again…” he muttered, grinning at Sam.

“You are definitely telling me all about Budapest when this is over.” Sam whispered back as they crept down the stone steps, their footsteps dull against the stone.

Leigh sweated, her head pounding as she worked the small pin into the heavy duty lock, her fingers slipping taking yet more skin from her sore knuckles. She bit back a groan, tears falling down her face, as a lock of hair fell into her face. She could hear James screaming, begging for the pain to stop and she was stuck in this fucking cell. She grunted with all the strength she had, jamming the pin in as far as she could, almost weeping with joy as she heard a small click. She wrenched the door open and ran out, stopping dead as she ran into a body standing there. She felt hands grab her arms and yelped, as she desperately tried to wriggle from his grasp.

“Leigh, leigh, it’s me, Clint.” He said, his voice full of urgency, heavy with emotion.

“Babybird…” he whispered, seeing the moment she stopped struggling, noting the cuts and bruises, the dark shadows under her eyes, the dried blood in her hair. Then she was in his arms.

“Clint, oh my god, you’re here,” she whispered, her frame drooping with exhaustion, smiling up at him, as he dropped a small kiss on her lips, “they’ve got Bucky. They’re torturing him,” she paled, stiffening in his arms, as they heard more desperate screams and cries echoing through the corridor.

“Now, now, soldat, you know this takes a long time and yes, it will hurt. You are doing this to keep your girlfriend safe though aren’t you?”

Bucky groaned, his head hung down; all strength had fled and he was just so damn tired.

“Just kill me.” He muttered, through dried, cracked lips, his eyes puffed and swollen into slits.

“Oh no, I need you alive soldat.” Zemo smiled as the machine hummed to life again.

“Where’s Sam?” Leigh whispered as Clint led her through the maze of corridors, coming to a junction.

He motioned for her to be quiet and quickly pushed her to the opposite wall. Leigh listened to the Russian voices and looked at Clint, signing.

~two, maybe three to the left, I can hear them talking…Bucky is in a room upstairs, they’re joking about having the Winter soldier again.~

He faltered as one word rang out.

~Nat’s here too~

~I know, we followed her to this building~

Clint grinned over at her.

~I’ll get left, you get right~

~as usual Hawk?~

~always, babybird~

He motioned a slow count down, giving them time to draw and notch before they stepped round the corner, letting their arrows fly true, watching dispassionately as three men died where they fell, arrows sticking through their throats. Clint motioned for her to stop before grinning as Sam walked round the corner.

He looked at the bodies and grinned.

“Not bad, just got four upstairs, come on I know where they’ve got Bucky.”

Leigh inhaled sharply, feeling Clint’s fingers wrap around hers.

“We’ll get him back, I promise you.” He whispered dropping a small kiss on her forehead.

“Sam? Lead on.” He said, pulling Leigh with him as they ran.

“Soldat?”

Bucky glared at the man, his eyes almost swollen shut, his nose was probably broken from the pain he was feeling and, he ran his tongue over a sore spot in his mouth, yes, a tooth was definitely loose. He swilled what little saliva he had and spat it, feeling it dribble down his chin, hanging.

“Fuck you.” He whispered; his mouth dry. He wasn’t going to become Him again. He would die before he let that happen.

Dimly he felt the mouth guard being rammed into his sore mouth, his lip splitting open and he closed his eyes, his minds eye on Leigh. He wouldn’t become what he hated. She would stop him from…He screamed as pain ripped through him, every nerve ending alight and on fire. He could feel his mind receding, whimpering as the picture of Leigh laughing up at him flickered and faded to black as darkness encroached.

Leigh burst through the door, Clint behind her as they let their arrows hit their targets. Sam stood guard as they made sure all were dead, before Leigh took a deep, gulping breath, scrambling over to where Bucky sat, slumped against his restraints. She sobbed as she felt for a pulse, sighing heavily as she felt one.

“Buck? Bucky?” she reached out to gently touch his face, as Clint searched for the off switch, flipping it, his breathing heavy in the room.

He turned to see Sam flying past the doorway, hitting the end wall. Clint stepped out to see Nat standing before him, her face blank, her eyes dead.

“Nat…” he whispered, his heart jolting as he looked at her, a grin breaking out on his lined face, as he walked toward to her only to dodge a punch.

“Ok…not Nat,” he mumbled, throwing a heavy punch back at her, back peddling to enable him to reach for his bow, snapping it into a heavy baton. He had a slight sense of Déjà vu when they were aboard the helicarrier, but this time Nat wanted to kill him. With a precision dance they slowly stepped around each other in the wide corridor, his breathing heavy as he stared into the cold dead eyes of the woman he loved above all else, watching for her tells. 

Natasha looked at the man in front of her. There was something familiar about him but she couldn’t think what. He had killed Zemo; he or that woman that was with him. It didn’t matter. The mission was the Winter Soldier and she would do all she could to ensure that it went ahead. That was her mission. She feinted to the left, watching as he matched her movements. She round housed only for him to dodge her foot, catching her leg and bringing her to the ground. His grin was…did she know him?

“Come on Nat…gotta do better than that, it’s me, Clint and I know all your moves baby.” He grinned as she reared back to punch him, distracting him with one fist whilst she hit his gut with the other, watching as he stumbled back.

Shit. That fucking hurt. He frowned, thinking back to their sparring sessions. There was no way she had hit like that before. He gave up thinking as she charged at him, raining blow upon blow against him as he thrust and parried back, his outer arms taking the hits. Fuck…he wasn’t going to last, he thought as he watched her stop, a surprised look on her face before she crumped in front of him, to show Sam standing behind her, an iron rebar in his hands.

“What? You were pulling your punches.” He glared at him, “Grab her, we got Barnes and we’re getting the hell out of dodge.”


	22. Chapter 22

The flight back was subdued. Bucky lay curled up on a row of seats, seat belts strapping him in as he slept, Natasha was out cold, pinned down on a medical gurney, vibranium restraints wrapped around her wrists, ankles and thighs, a heavy sedative dripping through the bag hung above her, straight into a vein.

Leigh sat, curled up opposite Bucky as he slept, keeping an eye on Natasha as she read. She had picked up a book Zemo had been carrying before Sam took down Nat. Flicking through it on the jet she’d slowly realised the significance of the small red book.

“Hey babybird, how you holding up?” Clint slumped down into the seat next to her, sighing heavily. He was unable to bring himself to look at Nat and had spent his time in the front with Sam. It was unsettling and disturbing to see her so devoid of emotion.

“I’m ok.” She replied, holding the red book on her bent knees, her toes peeping over the edge of the seat.

Clint hummed, looking at her torn and broken skin, the bruising on her face and neck, the dried blood matting the back of her hair, his eyes narrowing.

“Sorry babybird but I’m calling bullshit on that statement.” He looked at her, his eyebrows raised, eyes kind.

Leigh turned to look at him a frown on her face.

“Put the book down and let me see your hands.” He glanced at the book, frowning, “ what’re you reading anyway, doesn’t look like a Russian fairy tale.” He grinned, waiting for her to put the book down.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“It’s Bucky’s book.”

“I’m sure he’ll be ok if you stop for a minute or two…” he began reaching out for it.

Leigh snatched it out of his grasp, “No, you don’t understand, it’s ‘the’ book. The book that tells me what they did to him and I have to read it. I have to understand what happened and how, so I can make sure it never fucking happens again.” She rasped, her voice thick as she struggled to hold back her pain, “I am the fucking boss, this is my job. To protect you all, and…and I nearly lost him” she whispered, her throat closing as she thought of how close she’d come to losing him.

“You really love him don’t you babybird?” he asked softly, pulling her into a side hug, resting his chin on her head.

“I do, I really fucking love him. He’s my everything and I would die for him.” She smiled softly as she watched Bucky sleep, he hadn’t needed a sedative he’d been so exhausted, “You know, we had a fling, before you came back, a one off kind of thing but then you came back and I was so overwhelmed with it, with you. I thought it would all go back to how it used to be but it didn’t. You weren’t the same you and I wasn’t the same me, but Bucky and I? We’ve been the same with each other since we met, since the blip ended, but I was so wrapped up with what I’d had with you, with Nat that I couldn’t see him.” 

She sighed, feeling Clint stroke her hair gently, mindful of the gash on the back of her head that he’d stitched up for her, “There’s a word, hiraeth, I think it’s Welsh but I’m not sure, I heard it once, or read it somewhere and it stuck with me,” she glanced up into his familiar blue/green eyes, “It’s an intense irrational longing or sense of regret for a place, or a time, or a person that’s gone or never really existed and I was stuck there. My entire being was taken up so much with the past, with my love for you, and for Nat, that I almost missed him.” She sighed, “I love you Clint, I always have and I always will, but I love Bucky more, and it’s time we all moved on, don’t you think? Fresh starts and all that?” she sniffled, her heart bursting with a sense of encompassing safety and security as she looked at Bucky, smiling as he snuffled in his sleep.

Clint hugged her tight, feeling a tear run down his face, his heart feeling strangely light and free.

“Only once I’ve looked at your hands…,” he sniffled, sitting back and holding his hands out for hers, “come on missy, hand ‘em over.” He grinned.

“Who killed Zemo?” a rough, sleepy voice.

Leigh inhaled sharply, blinking her eyes, yawning. She sat up from her slumped position on the edge of Bucky’s hospital bed. She glanced up at him to see him staring at her.

“Oh my god, Bucky, you’re awake,” she grinned moving her chair up the bed so she was closer to him, “How are you feeling?, you look better, the swelling’s gone down round your eyes. You’re nose wasn’t broken just badly bruised but we did have to fix two teeth.” She rambled as he looked at her, a small smile playing on his dry, cracked lips.

“Who killed Zemo?” he asked again, the need to know written all over him.

She swallowed and let out a deep breath, “I did, I didn’t know at first but you know Clint and keeping score, oh, actually you probably don’t, but he’s not called Legolas for nothing. He has an ongoing competition with me, even if I don’t actually participate but he just has to know who is the better Archer, and he found my arrow in Zemo’s throat.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, slumping back against the bed, closing his eyes.

Leigh sat back in her chair watching as his face smoothed into sleep, all trace of the pain and anguish that had been there when she’d found him, strapped into that monstrosity, broken and bleeding, had gone. She leaned over to brush his hair away from his face, pausing as he opened his blue eyes to look at her.

“I wanted to die,” he whispered, looking down at his broken fingers, hearing her gasp as she sat back down, “He told me if I struggled that you would take my place and I wanted to die, I was so damn tired doll, tired of the pain, the worry, wondering if you were ok, tired of living, but you were there, in my mind, telling me you loved me and not to give up, and…and I came this close to just complying with him, letting him do what he wanted but you stopped me. I had to make sure you were safe, you see?,” he looked at her, her eyes filling with tears as she listened, “ had to make sure my best girl was safe; safe from what I could become, so I fought him, and I kept fighting and then…,” he cried silently, his voice breaking, hot, heavy tears running down his face, “then you were there, and…you loved me enough to come and find me.” 

“Bucky, I love you with all my heart, body and soul, I will always come and find you, no matter what.” She sniffled, fat tears falling as she leaned over to wrap him in her arms.

He sniffled as he gave in to her embrace, “Doll?,” he whispered, feeling her surrounding him

“Yes?”

“You’re heavy and my nose hurts.” He murmured.

Leigh stood back to see him grinning at her, a bubble of joyous laughter flew from her and she sat back in her chair, crying with laughter.

She sat back in her new office chair, in her new office and stretched, feeling her neck muscles groaning. It had been a week since they’d returned with Nat and the Walking Dead as Sam had taken to calling Bucky as he walked slowly around the compound.  
What they hadn’t realised was that Zemo had broken Bucky’s thigh bone, or at least Zemo had ordered Natasha to do it, splintering it into shards and in forcing him to walk from the outhouse to where Sam had dropped the quinjet in a nearby park had caused the bone fragments to migrate. 

He’d had to undergo a short operation to pick out all the shattered pieces of bone as his serum infused body tried to repair itself. He’d done it without painkillers as he metabolised them too quickly for them to work. Leigh had gone for a run. She hadn’t been able to be anywhere near the medical bay whilst the operation had taken place. Ever since then he’d walked with a slow limp as his leg slowly repaired itself.

She had returned to find Darcy had set her up with an office and a PA. She had rolled her eyes at Darcy but had found that all her paperwork was transcribed and filed in all the right places, scanned and logged on the computer so she could access whatever she wanted with a few simple mouse clicks. After bursting into tears in Darcy’s office she’d hugged her friend and had promised to tell her all about it one day.

She heard her door open and looked up to see Clint walking in. He huffed and slumped down in the chair opposite her.

“Hi Hawk, how are you?”

“M’fine babybird.” He smiled; his face tired but alive.

“How’s Nat?”

Nat had awoken after 48 hours, confused and angry. After numerous tests it appeared that as well as the poorly programmed words in her mind, she had also had to be injected daily with a chemical cocktail to keep her compliant; without the injection, her mind was rebelling against the bad programming and it had begun to break down. Unfortunately, or fortunately whichever way you wanted to look at it, the serum she’d been infused with had melded to her DNA and so she was, as Bucky and Steve, a super soldier. Unfortunately, and it was a definite unfortunately, her memory lapses were rather large.

“She wants to see you.” Clint said.

Leigh snapped her head up from the paperwork she’d been glancing at, “What?”

“She’s beginning to remember, she can recall bits and pieces, Steve’s with her right now, she remembers Steve,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “you know, who could forget super soldier dick?” he laughed, watching as Leigh flushed, “Oops, forgot, you got your own super soldier dick, ain’t ya.” He cackled as she glared at him.

“Clint…” she said pronouncing the T with a snap of her teeth.

“Ma’am…” he drawled, a lazy, easy grin on his face, his eyes sparkling.

“What am I gonna do with you?” she looked on him with fondness and a touch of exasperation.

“I can think of a few things but I ain’t sure Bucky would be too happy…” he grinned, flirting.

She shook her head, smiling at him. It was nice, the relationship they now had. Clint would flirt heavily with her, knowing nothing would happen and also knowing it riled Bucky up something rotten, or at least Bucky pretended it did. He was just happy; happy to have Leigh with him and happy that she was happy. 

She stood, stretching her arms above her head, rolling her shoulders. She was sure she hadn’t got back ache from being the boss before all this happened.

Clint sprung up from his chair and held out his arm.

“Shall we?” he intoned, twinkling at her.

“We shall.” She laughed as they left her office and walked down the to the medical wing.

“Hi Nat.” Leigh sat down softly in the chair next to Nat’s hospital bed, looking at the petite redhead.

“Hey Leigh,” she said, a small smile on her face, “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course, anything for you Nat.” Leigh smiled, aching to reach out and hold her hand but not sure how much the older woman remembered.

“Clint says you were important to us,” she sighed, looking down at her hands, “but I don’t remember, I’m sorry.” She whispered, so unlike the Natasha Romanoff that Leigh knew.

“That’s understandable, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through, and it hurts my heart even to try and think that,” Leigh sniffed, feeling tears pricking her eyelids, “You were…you still are a very important part of my life but it’s more important that you get better than it is for you to remember me.” Leigh said, a tear making its way down her cheekbone, she gasped softly as she felt Nat’s hand reach out to wipe it away. She leant into her palm for a moment, feeling the soft skin on her face.

Nat took her hand away and stared at the dark haired woman in front of her. why was thinking of Swiss chocolate. It made no sense.

“You remind me of swiss chocolate, that triangle stuff that Clint loves.” Nat said, her voice unsure and soft.

Leigh sniffled, her grin growing wide as she smiled back at the confused woman.

“Yes, we were in Switzerland together, on a mission and Clint got…”

“The giggles…” Nat finished, her eyebrows raising as a memory popped into her head, “You wore a silver dress and I was mad at you both but I can’t remember why.” She slumped back into her pillows, pulling at the drip bag full of nutrients and an all round penicillin, just in case.

“It’s ok Nat, it’ll come to you, and Clint will be with you to help you.” Leigh said, her heart hurting for Nat.

“Where will you be? I feel safe with you.” She admitted, reaching out to hold Leigh’s hand, threading her small fingers through Leigh’s smaller fingers.

“I’ll be here too, as well as Bucky and Steve.”

“I remember Steve, he’s very big.” Nat said plainly.

Leigh snorted, her eyebrows raising.

“I don’t remember everything about him only that he’s extremely big and knows what to do with it.”

“Nat! I really don’t need a mental image of Steve Roger’s dick in my mind, thanks…” Leigh let out, squealing with laughter.

“Bucky was bigger.”

Leigh looked at her in surprise. Bucky had never said anything about…

“Oh we didn’t…No, I walked in on him in the shower and he was pleasuring himself, so I watched. I had never seen a naked man and I was fascinated.”

“Did he know you were there.”

“Oh yes, but he let me stay until he had finished, then he left and I showered.”

“Right,” she drawled, amused and a little disturbed, “he’s not told me that one.”

“Oh, are you together?” Nat asked, intrigued.

Leigh smiled at her, it was like talking to a teenager in some ways, the filter that Nat had built up so cleverly over the years was missing and she said whatever was in her mind.

“Yes, yes we are.”

“Oh, then you know what he looks like naked and you’re very lucky. Does he know what to do with it?” she asked, face inquisitive.

Leigh looked at her, a red flush beginning on her cheeks as she thought of Bucky.

“Yes he does and yes, I'm very lucky.” Leigh agreed with her, as Nat yawned.

“I’m tired.”

“Ok sweetie, I’ll leave you to sleep.” Leigh finished, getting up and walking softly out of the room.

Clint was waiting for her outside. She grabbed his arm and led him off down the corridor away from earshot.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she rounded on him, not knowing whether to be furious or just laugh.

Clint looked at her puzzled, “what are you talking about babybird?”

“Nat’s lack of filter between her mind and her mouth. Not only did she just tell me that Steve is big, she also told me Bucky is bigger…”

“Oh, yeah, right…maybe I should have led with that one,” he frowned at her, “hey, wait, how does she know Bucky is bigger?” he asked, his eyes concerned.

“She saw him in the shower one day at the Red room and he was, you know, taking matters into his own hands.” She could feel the grin beginning on one side of her mouth and fought to keep a straight face.

“Ohhhhhh,” he breathed, his mouth open in a wide grin, “I did not know that…”

“And you, you little shit stirrer, will not say a word. I will tell him, not you. I mean it Clint, one word from you and I’ll ban you from the compound.”

“You wouldn’t do that to Nat, she needs me.” He grinned, certain.

“Then I’d keep you confined to the medical wing, and you know I’d do that. Make you eat hospital food.”

He shuddered, looking at her with wide innocent eyes.

“Don’t give me that puppy look Clint, and talking of puppies, I know you brought Lucky here without asking, but he’s adorable so he can stay, but, one word from you and you’re in the medical wing with no pizza or coffee.” She warned.

“Aww babybird, of all the things you could ever say to me, that was really mean.” He grumbled, walking off as she chuckled to herself before heading off to find Bucky.

Leigh found Bucky resting up on the sofa in their new quarters. She had finally taken over Tony’s old rooms, moving herself and Bucky in as soon as he’d been released by Helen Cho.

“Hey doll, you ok?” Bucky called out, hearing the front door opening.

“Hi Buck, I went to see Nat,” she began, taking her shoes off and padding through to the living area, “How’s your leg?” she asked moving to sit by his feet.

“Feels much better, just a few twinges when I ran the track earlier,” he smiled, scooting down the sofa until he was lying flat against the cushion, his legs resting over her lap, “so how was Nat? I haven’t seen her yet; don’t think she remembers me.” He said smiling up at her.

“Oh Buck, she remembers you, most definitely remembers you,” her mouth twitched as she looked at him, “well, she remembers watching you jerk off in a shower in the Red Room anyway…”

Bucky spluttered, his mouth dropping open as his eyes widened.

“What the fuck?” he spluttered, moving back up the sofa to sit upright, his eyes so wide she thought his eyebrows might end up on his head.

“She walked in on you in the showers one night. She’d gone in to shower, I guess and you were in there, pleasuring yourself, as she put it. Apparently she’d never seen a naked man before so she watched you masturbate; told me you were bigger than Steve.” Leigh finished, watching, her lips twitching, as he rapid cycled through surprise, anger, concern and ended up with slight shame.

“She would have been a child, I never…we never…” he gasped, feeling sick.

“Oh god Buck,” she sat back, her heart beating rapidly at his words, “ I’m so sorry, I didn’t…shit…I didn’t mean it like that, I know you didn’t,” she paled as she looked at his stricken face, “I just thought it was funny that the only thing she seems to remember about both you and Steve are the size of your dicks, I didn’t think that she would have been a child.” Leigh looked at him, aghast at her stupid mistake.

“Fuck sake Leigh. Jesus…” he finished, swinging his legs round to get up off the sofa, walking over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Leigh sat on the sofa, feeling horrible. She meant to tell him in a light hearted way, to make him laugh, maybe get him to show her how he did it. She hadn’t given one thought to Natasha’s actual age when it had happened. She felt sick for her thoughtlessness.

“Buck?” she called softly, entering the kitchen, seeing him leaning over the kitchen counter, an almost empty glass of water in his hand. She walked over and leant her head softly on his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about her age. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you and I’m sorry.”

“Doll,” he turned to look at her, “you gotta remember that I did a lot of horrible, terrible things but one thing I never did, never, was hurt children. I couldn’t, wouldn’t even when they tried to get me to. The programming would glitch and I couldn’t do it. I don’t remember her, the shower or doing that. Was she…was she upset when she told you?”

“No, the opposite, she was so matter of fact, it was strange. It’s like she has no filter between her mind and her mouth right now. She just says whatever she’s thinking. There’s no emotion attached and that’s probably why I didn’t take it that seriously and I was wrong. I should have and I’m sorry. Buck, I would never think that of you, that you could ever hurt children.”

He took a deep breath, putting his glass in the sink.

“I need to go for a walk doll, I’ll catch you later.” He leaned over to press a soft kiss on her forehead and, grabbing his shoes, he walked out.


	23. Chapter 23

Leigh was sat on the sofa, reading when Bucky returned. Steve had popped by for a few minutes letting her know that Sam was going to take him home to enable him to grab more clothing and some of his possessions as he wanted to stay on the compound until Nat was better. Leigh had hugged him and given her permission for him to stay as long as he wanted. He also needed to let his lady friend know he’d be out of town for a little longer, and water his plants. She smiled at the thought of Cap pottering about, watering his plants.

“Hey doll.” Bucky sat down heavily on the sofa next to her. He glanced at the book she was holding and looked at her.

“Why are you reading that? I don’t want you to read that.” He said, his chest feeling tight.

“I need to.”

“But why? What? You need to know exactly what they did to me? All the torture, the pain…” he exhaled, running his hands through his hair, unable to understand why she would willingly read about it.

“I need to know exactly what happened so I can stop it from happening again.”

“But why?,” he shook his head, “I mean why you, doll? Huh?, why not Steve, or Sam, why you?”

“I’m the boss Bucky, remember? The one you ignored when I first took over, wondering who the fuck I thought I was to take over from Tony and Nick? I have to do this as I don’t want anyone else knowing what happened to you. The buck stops with me, as Steve said,” she sighed, closing the little book, tucking it down the side of her, turning to look at him, “but, I will read it in my office only, if that helps you.” She let out a breath.

“I ran into Clint, on my walk.”

“Oh, ok,” she looked puzzled at his abrupt change of topic, “so…”

“We talked about Nat and the Red Room and what she was like when he first brought her in.” he sighed, sitting forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, his thoughts dark and painful.

“Oh, I see…” she trailed off her voice soft, reaching out to rub his shoulder, as she brought her leg up to sit, facing him.

“Yeah, she was…she was so fucking broken. I mean, she had no idea how to interact with people, she either killed or fucked, or sometimes fucked then killed, that’s all she knew, all she’d be trained for, and…god I feel sick…” he dropped his head forward, waiting for the nausea to pass, taking deep, slow breaths as Leigh sat, silently next to him, her hand squeezing his shoulder to let him know she was there.

“I fucking trained her to kill, she was eight…eight when I started training her but that’s not even the worst…,” he took a shaky breath, slumping back against the sofa, her hand moving to his arm, “you know what they did the first clear day after a girl had her first period?...”

“Oh god…Buck…” she whispered, horror filling her mind. Neither Clint nor Nat had ever told her any of this. She knew nothing about Nat’s time in the Red Room and she had never thought to ask. Tears gathered as her heart broke for her Natasha.

“Yeah, she was deflowered to put it mildly, didn’t matter how old she was, she was a woman in their eyes and then…then she was put to use as jail bait in honey traps. Clint said that Nat had told him all this when she was first brought in and questioned, and that she wasn’t even bothered by it. That’s how fucked up she was. She didn’t see anything wrong with it,” he sighed, taking her hand in his metal one, marvelling at how small her hand was, “You know it took two years before she was allowed in the field with Clint? Two years to extract all her knowledge and then de programme her. two fucking years of having to relive everything she’d done and know how wrong it had been.”

“She told me, when she saw you, that she’d never seen…was that a lie?” Leigh asked, softly.

“No, she was luckier than most, she got her first period just before she graduated. I don’t know who her first was, she never told Clint, but it was probably Shostakov. He was an evil bastard and that’s coming from me, even as the Winter Soldier, I knew, deep down he was bad. He ran the Red Room with Madame B, and that’s what gets to me, you know?...” he turned his head slightly to look at her, anguish and pain in his blue eyes, “That I did nothing to stop them, I was there and I was complicit in what was happening to these…these children.” The anguish bursting out of him.

“How could you?...I mean how could you have stopped them? You were…”

“I know exactly what I was,” he spat, angrily, “A program, a fucking machine…sub-human.”

“No!,” she cried, reaching over to stroke his cheek, “No, James, you were a victim just as Nat was a victim, hell , even Clint was a victim.” She shuffled up to cradle him against her, feeling his breath on her neck, his arms coming up to hold her loosely.

“Clint?” he asked, his voice soft.

“Not my tale to tell, but yeah, in his way, Clint was a victim," She pulled back to look him, her hands holding his face, “ we’re all victims Buck, you, Steve, Nat, Clint…even me. We’re all fucking victims in this and all we can do with that is turn it to doing some good, that’s all we can do, that, and be there for each other, cause no other fucker has our backs.”

“What happened to you doll?” Bucky asked, grasping her hand and pressing a soft kiss against her palm feeling her shudder.

He looked at her, seeing the frown as she sat back, closing her eyes.

“Doll?,” he said, softly, “talk to me?”

“Hydra killed my parents to get me,” she began, taking a shuddering breath, opening her eyes to look at him, feeling him squeeze her hand gently, “I was born enhanced, my eyesight and hearing, it’s why I can do what I do with the bow I guess, I didn’t exactly tell you the truth about how far I can hit a target at,” she smiled a small smile, “I guess I didn’t want you to think any different of me, but, after Clint took over my training he took me to a clearing and told me to aim and fire, so I did and using his arrows, the furthest I hit a target at was just under two miles,” she let out a breath, feeling him press a small kiss against her shoulder, “I was four when it happened, I didn’t know what my parents did for a living, they just used to bring me in to their place of work, letting me sit colouring in, in my dad’s office while they got on with their work. They were scientists, working for S.H.I.E.L.D and that was fine, until one day, I was bored, mom and dad were nowhere to be seen, so I left dad’s office to go find them. I went for a wander, as kids do, you know, I was fascinated by all the offices and the people milling about, most of them knew me, so they didn’t seem to care that I was wandering about by myself and I was having fun looking for my parents, and then I found the training room, and you know, it bothered me for years why a four year old was allowed to get into a heavily secured training room, but after Nat released those files, I found they’d set the whole thing up,” she took a deep breath, a tear falling, “Those bastards knew there was something different about me and they arranged for me to find the training room, with a handy child sized bow left out, with training arrows,” she smiled down at him, as he rested against her shoulder, looking up at her.

“I was a curious child, you know, always wanting to know things, and when I saw that bow, I was so fucking drawn to it, I just picked it up, notched an arrow, drew the string and let it fly. It hit a target at 500 yards. I was four. Fucking four years old and I’d hit a target most cadets would take weeks to hit. As soon as I had done that my parents were dead people walking, they worked for S.H.I.E.L.D but it turns out they’d already had a request to put me into a training program for gifted children but had refused; they didn’t want me growing up to quickly.”

“Doll, I’m so sorry,” Bucky began, nestling his head into the crook of her neck.

“Two weeks later they were asked to go to a conference, leaving me with a sitter, another fucking S.H.I.E.L.D stroke Hydra agent. Their car went off the road on the way to the airport,” she looked down at his short intake of breath, “Sounds familiar huh?,” she smiled, bitterly, “And so, as I had no other family members, I was taken in by my sitter and raised by S.H.I.E.L.D.,” she laughed without mirth, “It’s funny but I don’t ever recall feeling that I was being trained, I was happy…kinda….I was allowed to be me, in amongst the actually training and school work, I was allowed to be a normal kid, then a truculent teenager and then finally I was a S.H.I.E.L.D cadet and I saw nothing wrong with that.”

“Oh doll, come here,” Bucky said, pulling her sideways into his arms, feeling her arms wrapping around his back as she lay, nestled into him, feeling his chest rise with every breath, hearing his heart beating strongly in his chest.

Leigh closed her eyes in the cocoon of his warmth and support, breathing in his scent, smiling in the security. She lay against him for a few moments then pulled back, sitting up to face him.

“We’re all victims in this, James. Do you blame me for being enhanced and being the reason my parents were targeted by the organisation they worked for?”

“What? God no, doll you were a child.” He looked horror-struck at her.

“Then why do you blame yourself for being the Winter Soldier? You were taken, forced and then programmed into something you couldn’t fight against. Same goes for Nat. You don’t blame her for what happened, so stop blaming yourself for what happened to you.”

Bucky looked at her, seeing the fierce love for him shining in her eyes and kissed her; hard and deep, his tongue penetrating every part of her mouth. God, he loved her.

He pulled her back onto him, until she was straddling him, grabbing for her t shirt to rip it up off her, reaching up for her bra clad breasts, squeezing and kneading them gently, before unhooking her bra, until she was bare before him. He levered himself up to take a nipple into his mouth, feeling her arch back, his hands reaching on her back, feeling her muscles move under her skin.

Leigh wriggled, pressing down where she was sat on him, feeling him hard under her. She felt his hands on the top of her leggings, pulling at the band. With a smile she got off him and stripped out of them, as he stripped his jeans off, laying back on the sofa, before she straddled him once more, gasping loudly as she felt his swollen heat against her.

“God Buck…” she whispered, her hands on his chest, seeing his soft, cocky smile as he looked up at her.

She moved slowly against his cock, feeling him slid between her folds, the head pressing against her clit. She closed her eyes as she rubbed herself on him, hearing his hissed intake of breath.

“Doll? Leigh? Please?” he whispered, his voice strangled with need, his lust blown eyes looking up at her, his breathing ragged.

Leigh smiled down at him, reaching beneath her to grasp his hot cock in her hand, lining him up before she sank down hard on him, impaling herself, whimpering as he filled her, stilling as he bottomed out, enjoying the feeling of all of him inside her.

“Fuck…doll…so fucking wet…” he gasped, as she began to slowly rise up off him, her thigh muscles protesting somewhat as she levered herself up before ramming back down.

Leigh grit her teeth as she forced herself up him, she needed that friction but it wasn’t fast enough for her.

“Buck?” she gasped, looking straight at him, “little bit of help please?” she smirked, her mouth opening in a silent O as he suddenly thrust, fast and hard up into her. 

She could feel her wetness between her legs, trickling out of her, down between their joined bodies, as he pushed up into her, over and over. She arched, leaning back, her hands balancing on his thighs, giving him a greater angle, her eyes closing as he thrust upward, his hands on her waist.

Bucky looked at her with amazement and love, as she sat, her skin glistening with sweat, riding him, her breasts moving, enticing him as he thrust up into her with all he had, groaning as she clenched around him, shuddering as she flooded his cock, feeling it drip down his leg.

Leigh came hard, gasping, her mouth opening and closing as she gasped for breath. She moved forward, slumping against his chest, as he continued his hard and fast pace, his mouth hungry for hers, his tongue sweeping, tasting her.

Bucky groaned into her mouth, feeling his balls tighten and contract before he shot into her, his heart beating rapidly, his mind spinning, lightheaded.

He pulled back from their kiss, grinning at her lust dazed face.

“Doll, gotta move out of you, gets a bit sensitive, you know.” He grimaced, feeling his sensitive cock twinge inside her.

Leigh snorted and moved off him, allowing him to shift up on the sofa before she lay back down, nestled into his size.

“Guess we ought to get the sofa cleaned after this, huh?” he grinned.

Leigh’s laughter could be heard outside their quarters, if anyone had been listening.


	24. Chapter 24

“Hey Spider.” Clint grinned walking into Nat’s hospital room. She was still under observation while she regained her health. She’d been underweight and malnourished when they’d brought her back, her super soldier serum being the only thing that had kept her going.

“Hey Hawk.” She smiled impishly as he climbed onto her bed.

“How’re you feeling?” he reached out to stroke her face, his hand warm against her cool skin.

“Better, I’m feeling better…I…” she paused, looking at him her face troubled.

“Nat? what’s up?” he asked, concern bleeding through his soft, gruff voice.

“I remember…” she began, looking into his clear blue-green eyes, seeing his love for her.

“Yeah? Remember what Spider?…” he smiled.

“I remember falling.” She stated, hearing his hissed intake of breath, seeing tears in his eyes.

“Shit…Nat…” he whispered, his face paling.

“I remember seeing you as I fell, you looked so sad but all I could feel was your love and I was at peace; all I had done, all I was, all I’d been was wiped clean and I was just free…,” she reached out to wipe away his tears, her smile sad, “I wanted you to live; your kids needed you, Laura needed you, Leigh needed you. It was always you Clint, only ever you and I couldn’t live with the thought of you not being in the world. You have so much light in you, compared to me and I needed to atone,” she whispered, “I got red in my ledger and I’d to wipe it out…”she whispered, bringing him close as he cried softly.

“I fucking hated you, in that moment… I couldn’t let you go…” he wept, feeling her small arms wrapped around him.

“I know, and that’s why you had to live, for me, for Laura, your kids and for Leigh,” she took a breath, “I know who she is now, who she was to us.” She whispered, rocking him tightly, feeling him shuddering under her, his entire being wracked with grief.

“And I fucked up anyway,” he whispered through his tears, his voice gruff, “Laura and me, we got divorced,” he huffed a short mocking laugh, “I ain’t seen my kids in over a year and Leigh? Babybird? I pushed her away too. I couldn’t…couldn’t live…not without you…” he took a shuddering breath and looked up into her beautiful face, “It’s always been you; only ever you.” 

Nat held him close to her, resting her cheek on his head, feeling peace surrounding her.

Leigh sat at her desk, her eyes clouded with the pain she was holding back as she read through the red book, tears threatening to fall as she looked at the written instructions with pencilled out words, and others underlined; longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car. 

What was even worse was what was written underneath each one, the explanation as to why they were chosen; each one having a deeper meaning to ensure they were completely embedded into Bucky’s psyche: his longing for home and who he’d been; the word rusted used in its old English meaning red for blood; one, nine, seventeen, the year of his birth; daybreak to indicate new beginnings; furnace to remind him of pain should he fail to comply; benign…now this to her was just evil, they had embedded this one to indicate that Hydra was the benign organisation and all others were malicious, it was also a threat to him being put back in cryo when he, himself would become benign; homecoming, programming him to feel relief once he returned back after a mission, and freight car. She felt the tears fall at the last two words, thinking of him as he fell from the train all those years back…fucking freight car.

He’d had no chance, no fucking chance at all at fighting the words; all of them were chosen to elicit a response from him; his complete and utter compliance with whatever they ordered him to do, except…except there had been a small part of him, that part of him that had still been Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th, who had refused to hurt children.

She snapped the book shut, thankful that Zemo hadn’t managed to read, or had skipped the part that spelt out how important it was to choose words with a deeper meaning; instead he’d used the same words but in a different order to program Nat. She scoffed, no wonder he’d failed; those words meant nothing to Nat. She shivered wondering what words he would have used had he’d been aware, smiling as she wondered how Zemo would have translated the word Clint, sniggering as she wondered if super soldier dick was also translatable, her mouth twitching as she fought against the bubble of laughter, before letting it out; needing the release from the darkness.

“Doll?” Bucky called out softly, as he watched her howling with laughter, all of the darkness she’d been reading finally being freed.

Leigh opened her eyes, took one look at him and burst into another fit of giggles.

“Didn’t think the book was that funny to be honest,” he quipped wryly as he slid into the chair opposite her, resting his arms on her desk.

Leigh sobered up, looking at him, her stomach hurting.

“I’m sorry Buck, it wasn’t, I…,” she began feeling her lips twitching, “I was reading about the words and their deeper meaning,” she looked at his frowning puzzled face, “oh, you didn’t know…shit…” she trailed off.

“Doll?” he queried, reaching over to take her hand in his, feeling the strength in her smallness.

She took a deep breath, letting it out in a rush, pushing her heavy hair back off her shoulders, looking at him sadly, “each word was chosen as it had a deeper meaning to you, longing meaning your longing for home, for who you’d been; rusted, meaning red for blood; one, nine and seventeen,” she began watching his face as he absorbed what she was saying.

“Year I was born…” he said softly.

“Was a good year,” she smiled before continuing, “daybreak to mean new beginnings,”

“They found me at dawn, in the snow…” he admitted, breathing deeply as she squeezed his hand. 

“Furnace to mean pain if you didn’t comply…”

“It burned, when they attached my arm, that’s what the scarring is, burn marks.” Bucky closed his eyes, his heart heavy at her small gasp.

“Benign, either indicating Hydra as the good guys, or you in cryo; homecoming as you’d been programmed to feel relief after a mission, when you returned to them and then…” she paused to swallow round the lump in her throat.

“Fucking freight car…when I fell,” he looked to see her nodding, her eyes full of unshed tears. He pushed back into his seat, blowing out a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face as he let out a frustrated yell.

“Fuck!,” he yelled into the small space, anger radiating through him before he visibly deflated, “I had no fucking chance, no chance of fighting it, did I?...” he trailed off, tears spilling.

“No.” she whispered, crossing from her seat to hold him against her, feeling his hot breath against her as he buried his head against her belly, his arms wrapped around her waist as he held on tight, his tears soaking through her t shirt.

Leigh groaned as she felt Bucky’s strong fingers digging into the sore, tightened muscles in her shoulders and upper back as she sat up in the hot bath.

“Doll?” he murmured leaning forward to press a kiss against the reddened skin of her shoulder.

“Hmmm?” she mumbled, her eyes closed, a huge smile on her face as he slowly loosened all the knots.

“You never said what you were laughing at earlier, you know, back in your office, when I came to see you.” Another small kiss was pressed followed by his tongue laving the red skin.

“Oh, right, yes…” she trailed off felling her face flushing.

“Doll?” he muttered, amused, “are you embarrassed?” he asked incredulous.

She blew out a small breath and lay back on his chest, feeling his arms wrapping around her in the hot water, his hand cupping a breast.

“well, ok, I was reading the part where it stated that the words needed to have a deeper meaning to be…”

“effective?” he growled in her ear, his hand tightening slightly.

“Yes and I had the thought that no wonder Zemo failed with Nat as he’d used your words on her but in a different order, guess he never thought to read the book from the beginning, and then I had a thought wondering how he’d have managed to translate the word 'Clint', and then Steve popped into my head and the words ‘super soldier dick’ and I lost it,” she giggled hearing a chuckle rumble through him, “wondering what the Russian translation would have been to have any kind of deeper meaning for Nat…” 

She lay there, listening to Bucky’s sudden loud laughter, smiling as she played with the sparse hair on his forearms, a sense of peace and belonging encompassing them both.

“Leigh?”

She turned to see Steve approaching her from where she stood watching the cadets being put through their paces on the track, the low winter sunshine casting long shadows.

“Hey Steve, how are you, sorry, I haven’t seen much of you since…” she trailed off, “well you know, since we all got back.”

“No problem, I know you were busy, I just wanted to come and say goodbye. Sam’s taking me home,” he smiled widely at her, his blue eyes twinkling, as he turned to watch the cadets huffing and puffing as they were put through their paces, “reminds me of me at Camp Lehigh, all those years ago.”

“Really?” she smiled, flipping her braid off her shoulders until it hung straight.

“except for the fact that I would have been miles behind these guys, about to die from an asthma attack,” he chuckled, “thank you Leigh.”

“For what Steve?”

“Bucky’s almost back to who he was before all of this and I’m grateful to you, I don’t know what you did, or said, and that’s your business, I just want you to know that this old man will forever be grateful to you for bringing my best friend back,” he chuckled, smiling, causing her to look at him, a puzzled sile on her face as he bent to whisper, “and I will be forever grateful you never managed to translate the words ‘super soldier dick’ into Russian…” he stood back laughing as she turned bright red, spluttering incoherently at him.

“Steven Grant Rogers!...” she managed to spit out before she was overtaken by a bout of giggles.

“Gotta watch out for us old men,” he winked, laughing as he saw Bucky approaching, his arm slung over Sam’s shoulder as they laughed together.

“Punk.” Bucky said as they drew closer.

“Jerk.” Steve nodded as Sam raised an eyebrow.

“You almost ready to go Cap?”

“Yes.” Steve replied with a smile.

“Car or jet?”

“Oh car, please. I don’t think my neighbours have quite gotten over me turning up in the quinjet the last time you took me home.” He laughed, thinking of all the curtains twitching as Sam had set the Jet down in the wide road outside Steve’s house.

“I’ll have a quick shower and go get the car old man,” Sam laughed, walking off, his booming laughter rebounding off the compound.

“You ok punk?” Bucky asked, his eyes on Steve, as he walked over to sling his arm over Leigh’s shoulder.

“Bucky, you stink, what the fuck were you guys doing?” Leigh exclaimed.

“playing a few games of gridiron, you know seeing how far we could throw the ball and catch it.”

“Well you smell, you need a shower.” She squealed as Bucky pulled her into a hug, rubbing his sweaty body all over her.

“So do you doll.” He laughed as she swatted his arm.

“Bucky Barnes, puts the ass into assassin.” She quipped as he laughed.

“So you ok then punk, you off home?” he turned back to Steve to see him looking at him fondly.

“Yes, it’s time. I said I’d stay until you and Nat were ok, and I think it’s now time I went home, to my quiet, peaceful life, with absolutely no drama, unless you count the case of the missing milk.”

“Huh?”

“Oh yes, it’s caused quite the scandal. Apparently milk has been going missing on a few of my neighbours stoops, early in the morning and they’re all blaming each other. One of you needs to have a word with that Peter from Queens…”

Leigh laughed as she stepped into a hug, “Steve, thank you for coming in, for helping us with this, for helping me.” She whispered, reaching up to kiss his cheek.

“You are most welcome my darling, you know where I am if you need me again.” He hugged her again before turning to Bucky.

“Buck, it’s been a blast, take care of each other and I’ll see you both for Christmas, if I’m still invited?”

“Course, wouldn’t be Christmas without you pal.” Bucky laughed, stepping up to hug his friend.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?

“Leigh’s right, you stink.” Steve laughed, stepping back from the hug, before walking back inside, turning once more to look at Bucky.

“Don’t do anything stupid…”

“How can I?, you’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky quipped, hugging Leigh to his side as he watched his best friend walk away.

Bucky raised his arm to wrap around her shoulder and stopped, sniffing.

“Jesus, I stink…”

“Yeah, you really do, Sarge.” Leigh laughed, reaching up to bring him into a deep kiss.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To those who have followed this story, thank you for reading. it was a pleasure to write

Epilogue

“Clint, do you have those reports I asked for?” Leigh wandered into the kitchen, looking up from her Stark Pad to see the archer sat at the kitchen table, an open box of hot pizza next to him, as he tapped away on a Stark laptop.

“Almost done Ma’am,” he chuckled, looking up at her, his face sobering as he saw her pale, drawn face.

“No news huh? Babybird?”

She shook her head, breathing out a slow drawn breath.

“They’ll be fine, it’s Nat and Bucky,” he shrugged, getting up to hug her, “I promise you; they’ll be fine.”

“I know, I just…” she shuddered slightly in his arms, pulling back to look at him seeing the same concern in his eyes.

“It’s their first mission alone, together and I know…I know they’re both fine, both back to full strength but it’s been 78 hours with no word and…”

“They’ll be fine, they’re both super soldiers remember? You made the right call in sending them in. this thing with Zemo, none of us knew how deep in went, how far underground his factions were. Bucky and Nat? they were the only two who could go in, the only two who know what to look for.”

“I know…that fucking empty red room under the museum…”

S.H.I.E.L.D. had been called in to do a full search of the Pushkin museum in the days after Nat had been brought back and they had found a hidden corridor at the back of the museum, the corridor that Bucky and Sam had first found. It had led down to a vast empty warren of rooms, some for training, some for combat, shower rooms, a medical centre, a couple of offices and a room containing row after row of empty beds, each with a set of handcuffs attached the metal bed frame.  
Leigh had read the report and had advised her team of the contents, watching Nat and Bucky closely for their reactions. Both had confirmed that is was likely a new Red Room had either been set up and evacuated, or it had been set up but was not yet in operation. The following weeks had led to the Avengers teaming up closely with S.H.I.E.L.D, Leigh, Bucky, Nat and Clint hand picking members to join their team in flushing out Zemo’s faction.

“Come on babybird, have you eaten yet?” Clint asked, looking at her.

“No…I can’t, not until I know they’re safe.”

“Come on, have a slice of pizza,” he laughed as Lucky pocked his head up from under the table at the word ‘Pizza’, “hey, either you eat it or Pizza Dog here is gonna get fat,” he chuckled as Lucky barked once at him.

“Ok, I’ll sit and eat, god, if only to get you to stop grumbling Hawk…” she smiled, sitting down at the table and watching as Clint crossed over to grab her a plate, before setting a slice on it and sliding it across to her.

“Since when did you become all domesticated?” she smiled, as the smell of the hot pizza hit, her stomach growling loudly.

“Ah, since Nat told me she wasn’t gonna clean up after me. Told me I needed to apologise to you too, for making you run around after me.” He grinned sheepishly biting into a slice of pepperoni pizza, ripping the crust off for Lucky.

“Clint, I…I didn’t mind running around after you…” Leigh admitted, “It was…nice to have someone to look after.”

“Yeah, but I was meant to be looking after you, babybird, you were mine to take care of, and I didn’t and I’m sorry.” He reached across to take her hand.

“It’s ok Clint, I was meant to take care of you too…” she smiled, squeezing his hand as she ate the slice of pizza.

“ok, enough of the pity party, let’s eat.” He laughed, releasing her hand.

“Widow…you there? Fucks sake,” Bucky spat, pressing his comms device, “Fuck…” he groaned, hearing only static.

They had cleared five bases across Europe, two in Germany and three in Russia, only to find themselves just outside an old Red Army base in Odessa, on the black sea in southern Ukraine.

“Just don’t shoot me this time Barnes, and we’ll be ok.” Nat had deadpanned once they’d arrived, much to his amusement.

They had been outnumbered as soon as they’d arrived and Nat had split from him, going after a woman she’d recognised, before he could stop her. That had been a day or so ago and all he’d heard from the comms was static. He peered around the corner of the storage building where he was hiding behind a few crates, on the outskirts of the base. Fuck. Trucks everywhere. He swung himself silently up onto the roof of the building, dropping down, the dark night hiding his movements as he looked out across the base. He went through the original plan in his head, wondering how much had been fucked up from Nat splitting off and wondering who the hell she’d seen to spook her so much. One minute she’d been next to him and the next gone.

He heard distant booms and looked over to see one of the far buildings explode, with another following on its heels. He watched, waiting, not breathing until he saw a distant figure running as hard as she could through the flames. Smiling, he quietly jumped down from the building, taking out three soldiers he’d caught unawares, grabbing a weapon from one of them and heading towards Nat, watching as she took out any who came close to her. He scanned the area, seeing a sniper up high taking aim at her. Bucky let off a round, watching as the sniper stilled. He could smell the smoke and hear the shouts and screams of those caught in the explosions. Smiling tightly as he waited for her to reach him.

“What the fuck Widow? Huh? Couldn’t wait for me join you?” he grinned as yet another explosion went off behind them, then another and another, until all the main buildings were alight.

“Shut up and start running Barnes, this is gonna get messy.” She grinned; her red hair illuminated from the orange red flames behind her.

Bucky just smiled and followed her, taking out quite a few soldiers who were also running away, not stopping until they reached the safety of a nearby hill, both turning to watch as the entire base blew itself to pieces as the small Hydra faction crumbled within.

“Nat? what was that about? Huh? You just vanished. Left me and fucked up the plan. You were gone for almost two days.” Bucky rounded on her as they jogged the short distance back to the quinjet.

“Sorry Barnes, I saw someone I knew.”

“Yeah, kinda gathered that.” He sniped as she opened the ramp to the jet, allowing them both inside.

She dropped into the pilot seat and took it out of standby, smiling as the engines roared to life. She quickly checked the radar for any other aircraft in the vicinity and seeing none, she shot the jet up into the sky, turning once, setting the heading for the compound and home.

“So, you gonna tell me what the fuck that was about? I thought we were partners Romanoff.” Bucky spat as he settled into the co-pilot seat.

“Madame B.” she said simply, turning to look at him, the jet on autopilot.

“Oh…” he said quietly, looking at her.

“I’m sorry…”  
“We’ve never…”

They paused, smiling at each other.

“Ladies first.” Bucky motioned to a raised eyebrow.

“Age before beauty Barnes.” she quipped, smiling as he laughed.

“Ok, that’s how it is?”

“That’s how it is.” She smiled back.

Bucky took a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”

“For what Barnes?”

“For teaching you…how to kill, I should have…”

“You know as well as I do there was no should have in that place. You did what you were told or you died, simple as that, “ she paused to look at him, “Look, I know you and I, we’ve not been close since I got back to the compound and at first I thought Leigh was making a mistake putting us together on this, but you’ve shown me that you have my back, so I’m sorry I didn’t have yours back there, but I had to take the bitch out before she did to others what she did to me. And you training me? If it hadn’t been you it would have been someone else; I know you pulled your punches sometimes and I thank you for that; that little bit of you that was inside Him. Someone may have not been so easy on me. What happened, happened Barnes and we can either go on or stagnate. Leigh taught me that.”

“Leigh? How?”

“By moving on, with you. You’re not as broken as you think you are, Soldat. Whatever has happened between you two, you’re not Him anymore, you know there’s a word, Hiraeth. It’s Welsh, I told Leigh about it once cause I thought it was so beautiful and it means to have an intense regret or longing for someone or something in the past. Don’t allow your regrets to cloud your present.”

Bucky smiled, listening to her words, “When did you get to be so wise, Nat?”

“Since I died…” she deadpanned, smiling as he laughed.

“OK, you win, I can’t beat that one…but…tell me, do you remember where you were after…” he paused, frowning.

“No, I have an idea but it’s so outrageous, I can’t believe I would even be there.”

“What? Where do you believe you were?”

“I think I was in Heaven.”

Bucky looked at the redhead, totally speechless.

“But that can’t be true, if anything I’m headed for the place below.” She smirked, enjoying the peace and the hum of the jet as they headed home.

They checked in with the compound as soon as they were in International Airspace, over the Atlantic. Clint was the one to take the call, Leigh hovering at his elbow.

“Hey spider, missed you, everything ok?”

“Peachy with a side of keen, Hawk, the bitch is dead. Got her myself,”

“I love you spider.”

“I know,” she replied her voice fond and smiling, “hey is Leigh with you?”

“Yeah, I'm here.”

“Hey doll, missed you.”

“Oh Buck,” she sank down into the chair next to Clint, “I’m so glad to hear your voice…,” she paused, “and by glad I mean where the fuck have you been? No comms for almost four days. Jesus, the pair of you are grounded as soon as you get back.” She quipped, relief flooding through her.

“Aww mom…” Nat laughed, “I’d like to see you try to ground two super soldiers.”

Leigh smiled, “I’ll take Clint’s coffee away and leave you to deal with him.” She quipped, ignoring the spluttering man sat next to her, feeling a bubble of joy settle in her chest. She could hear Bucky laughing over the comms at the thought of Nat dealing with a caffeine deprived Clint.

“Laugh it up Bucko, you’re in separate quarters…”

“Aww doll, that’s harsh.” She laughed hearing his flushed indignation over the comms.

“Told you, grounded, the pair of you.” She laughed, “what’s your ETA?” she asked, needing to notify the hanger.

“About two hours,” Nat spoke through the comms, her voice serious.

“I’ll notify the hanger…,” Leigh paused to gather her thoughts, “Fucking glad you’re both ok, but you pull anything like this again, and it’s…fuck…see you both in two hours.” She clicked off the comms.

“You’re not taking my coffee away, are you?...babybird?” Clint looked at her aghast at her statement.

“Oh Hawk…” she laughed, getting up to go notify the hanger crew, hearing him calling out after her.

“Babybird? You can’t have my coffee…”

She laughed all the way to the hanger. She checked her watch. It was 10pm, so with luck they should be back by midnight.

Bucky shifted in his seat; the cockpit was ok but the seats weren’t that comfortable.

“They’re meant to keep you alert.” Nat murmured.

“What?”

“The seats, they’re comfy for the first ten minutes then…”

“Your butt aches?” he raised an eyebrow smirking

“Yeah, you’re not meant to get that comfortable in them.”

“Makes sense, I might mention to Leigh just how uncomfortable they are though…” he murmured.

“I hated Leigh at first,” Nat began, her voice low but steady, “ I could see how much Clint wanted her and I was angry, angry with her for being there and angry at myself for not being enough for him,” she glanced over to see Bucky staring at her, unsure where she was going with it, “but, she joined the team and she was good, she fitted and then she joined us,” she looked at him, smirking, “Not uncomfortable with this are you Barnes?” smiling as he shook his head, a small smile on his face, “Good, cause you need to hear it. I take it you know how she joined us? After kissing Clint on the dancefloor when they were meant to be on a mission?,” she watched Bucky nod, “so you know how angry I was? Well I was furious when I came back to find them in bed together. I was ready to kill the pair of them, or walk away, but Clint talked to me about having a polyamorous relationship. It was different with Laura, I shared Clint with her but not together, so it was easy to forget she was there, with Leigh, she was in my face so to speak, and at first she would be with him only, which suited both of us but one night after way too many drinks…well you can guess…I’m not going to give you details but she lodged herself in my heart, and I would kill for her.”

“Are you giving me the shovel speech Romanoff?” he smirked.

“I guess I am Barnes…”

“Already had it from Clint.”

“Oh let me guess, arrow through the eye socket?” laughing as he nodded, smirking at her.

“Well, mine would be worse, so don’t hurt her.”

“yes ma’am.” He saluted her, his heart swelling with love for his doll.

“Nat?”

“Barnes?” she quipped.

“If anything were to happen to me…”

“She would be our first priority.”

“Thanks.” He nodded, breathing deeply, peace settling in his bones.

“Stop pacing, they’ll be here soon.” Clint called out from where they stood inside the hanger.

“I’m not pacing…” Leigh replied.

“You’re wearing a hole in the floor woman.” He reached out to grab her hand, bringing her in to his embrace, “They’ll be here; they’re safe and ok.”

She nodded, feeling him kiss her hair. A distant hum hit their ears and they both stood, hearts pounding as they watched the quinjet slowly lower until it was on the ground, Leigh holding her breath as Nat navigated the bird back into the hanger. She breathed deeply, feeling Clint squeeze her hand as the ramp opened and Bucky stepped out.

Leigh took off running towards him, forcing him to drop his bag as she leaped into his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, covering his face with kisses.

“D’ya miss me doll?” he chuckled, lowering her slowly back down.

She heard soft laughter behind her and turned to see both Clint and Nat grinning at her before they saluted and walked off hand in hand.

“Welcome home soldier boy.” Leigh whispered, reaching up to pull him down into a kiss.

They were all safe and sound and home. Everything was alright with the world; at least for now.


End file.
